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To find being a Mum so hard?

(16 Posts)
opalescent Sun 03-Dec-17 09:11:12

I have a 4 year old son and a 10 month old daughter. They are absolutely gorgeous kids, so lovely, and so much fun. I also have a very supportive family, and a kind and patient Dp.
Is it normal then, to have times when I find the whole thing so utterly knackering and relentless?

Maybe it's the time of year (with all the extra pressure that Christmas brings), and to be fair, neither of them have been sleeping brilliantly lately. But I just cried all evening yesterday because I felt so drained and irritable with the never ending tasks/cooking/cleaning/shopping/answering questions/getting up in the night/nappy changing/getting everything ready for the morning.

I was snappy with ds before bed, and Dp and I had a huge row because he buggered off to football all afternoon leaving us in a total shit tip of a house, and the whole weekend came to a head.

Please tell me I'm not alone. I love my family but Jesus, I just need some peace every once in a while 😔.

TrinitySquirrel Sun 03-Dec-17 09:16:42

Your husband maybe needs to take on more of a parenting role too. What would he do if you swanned off to the football when there were things to do at homeM

TrinitySquirrel Sun 03-Dec-17 09:17:39

Also flowers it's exhausting. You need some solid downtime each week/every evening if you can have an hour or even half to yourself.

RemainOptimistic Sun 03-Dec-17 09:24:49

Kind and patient

Off to football all afternoon leaving a shit tip


Kickassname Sun 03-Dec-17 09:28:51

You're certainly not alone op. flowers

I would write more but I've been up since half 3 due to dd, and have a thousand jobs to face today. It is relentless you are right. And even though you know there's a million others out there doing the exact same drudgery, it always feels lonely when you're at it. (It certainly does when dh is at work anyway.)

The mood swings are the worst on those kind of days. I will start out like Mary Poppins and finish up like it puts the lotion in the basket.

All I can say is be kind to yourself, make some time for you too, and make sure dh does his fair share.

TotemIcePole Sun 03-Dec-17 09:30:01

You need a lot bit more support from DP flowers

TwinklyGiraffe Sun 03-Dec-17 09:30:08


Of course kids are amazing but the relentlessness of being a Mum can be awful and boring and monotonous. Then you’ll have a great day and feel so guilty about having negative thoughts and then an awful one...

And repeat!!

Caroelle Sun 03-Dec-17 09:31:40

DP had his time away this weekend, so it’s your turn next weekend. Find something you want to do, explain to him that you need some time to yourself, tell him when you will be out and leave him with things to do whilst he spends time with the children. My DC are both young adults but I ended up hating Christmas, so much extra work (and expense) for a couple of days.

opalescent Sun 03-Dec-17 09:32:06

Ok I haven't explained that very well- he did actually take the baby with him- but yes the house was an absolute shit tip, and he knew before he went that I was upset and pissed off about it (having already done SO much housework this week😩).

opalescent Sun 03-Dec-17 09:33:49

Thank you all for replying- and kickass, you sound just like me!!!
Just need reassurance that I'm not awful for getting so hacked off with it all!!!

HeadDreamer Sun 03-Dec-17 09:33:56

he buggered off to football all afternoon leaving us in a total shit tip of a house, and the whole weekend came to a head.

This. He is not pulling his weight.

yorkshapudding Sun 03-Dec-17 09:43:32

I will start out like Mary Poppins and finish up like it puts the lotion in the basket


OP, I'm with you. I only have one DC, who is generally well behaved and a good sleeper, and I'm fucking nackered. Trying to juggle FT work, motherhood, domestic stuff etc. is relentless. Sometimes it just feels as though there isn't a single minute in the day when no one NEEDS anything from me.

opalescent Sun 03-Dec-17 09:48:13

Yes!! Exactly that yorksha. I feel like I spend huge amounts of time doing things for other people and it's largely unnoticed.

I know that none of this is new. And we all feel the same. But sometimes you feel like you're the only one not smiling sweetly and baking Christmas cookies 🙄.

I was doubly upset because we were doing the tree last night. And decorating it with puffy eyes and an atmosphere of simmering resentment wasn't what I had in mind..

lightcola Sun 03-Dec-17 10:09:15

It is soooo exhausting, and relentless, and at times thankless. It’s a wonder why we do it at times. My DH helps at times but doesn’t fully appreciate just how hard physically and mentally it is.

Chattycat78 Sun 03-Dec-17 13:24:30

Yes yes yes. Some days when I get up I want to cry at how much I have to do and how knackered I am. Mine are almost 3 and 18 months. The sheer volume of cleaning/preparing meals/washing/washing up etc is overwhelming.

They are both in bed right now. I’m about to have a snooze!

Someone please come along to say it gets easier!

GinTonic123 Sun 03-Dec-17 13:36:01

It does get easier. Mine are now 3, 5 and 7 and able to decorate the tree on their own. There are days I don’t seem to get out of the kitchen or past the piles of washing but as the kids get older they get more independent, so at least you have more energy to get stuff done.

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