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Can't handle seeing them

(22 Posts)
tootfox Sat 02-Dec-17 13:46:56

I know it's not very festive, but my husbands family are just 🙄!

The adults are rude and the 3 kids are able to just run around and do What they want, and they break things have no respect for anything, we spend lots of money on presents for them and they don't even say thank you, it's so stressful and definitely not enjoyable, this year I'm working from Xmas day till New Year's Day but I have the 23/24 off, I'm a nurse also 6 months pregnant and to be fair I was looking forward to getting out of seeing them, and maybe having a nap ! now they have sort of invited themselves for the days I'm off, they live in a different town to us, I'm just not doing it!! My husband doesn't even want it! So no no no!!!!

Feel bad for my mil, but she can't enjoy any of it either, and now it's all getting passed on to us to have everyone! No thanks!! What do we say? Xx

hesterton Sat 02-Dec-17 13:48:49

You say no, it doesn't suit you but you do appreciate their kind offer. (As if they were doing it to be nice)

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips Sat 02-Dec-17 13:56:16

You say you've got plans already or you're too tired to host or you just want a rest. You just say anything that spells it out and stick to it.

tootfox Sat 02-Dec-17 14:01:52

They've got mil involved and said they will all come to ours (we never see them) so why would they think we would want them, if I have any energy I planned to see friends and relax with my lovely hubby, for the 2 days I have off ! I'm annoyed that we're put in this situation and will look like we're being mean, but they are horrible to us when there here and I have noo fake smiles this year left in me x

Santasbigredbobblehat Sat 02-Dec-17 14:03:51

Say you already have plans, catch up in the New Year blah blah, etc.

gobster Sat 02-Dec-17 14:05:20

Sorry we have plans for those days that we can’t cancel....... they don’t need to know it’s sitting in your pjs and relaxing

MyBrilliantDisguise Sat 02-Dec-17 14:05:24

No way. Stay strong and just tell them it isn't going to happen.

StepAwayFromGoogle Sat 02-Dec-17 14:12:58

That's so bloody cheeky! They can't invite themselves to yours. Agree with "we've already got plans". If you've left it too late to say that, how about "those are the only days I've got off this year and DH and I decided we just want it to be the two of us." If they persist then you'll have to say "it's incredibly rude to invite yourselves when we've said we don't want you to come and want to be by ourselves. That's a final answer from both of us. Have a lovely Christmas.".

FizzyGreenWater Sat 02-Dec-17 14:13:14

No.

You are so sorry but you already have plans for those days.

You will make a date in the New Year and have 'Christmas visit' then.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Sat 02-Dec-17 14:18:15

Jesus, I don't get these people who invite themselves. Just the fact that you're working (and haven't invited them), pregnant (and haven't invited them) and oh yes, haven't bloody invited them should be enough.
But, these are your husband's family-HE steps up and tells them, no, it's just not possible, see you (somewhere else) in the new year when hell freezes over

AnnieAnoniMouse Sat 02-Dec-17 14:21:33

Honestly, just say ‘No, we are not hosting Christmas, we will see you on x date at x place’. (Whatever suits YOU). There’s no need to beat about the bush trying not to offend people who are rude & obnoxious.

Do it TODAY so you can stop thinking about it.

...and STOP buying their ungrateful kids expensive presents, it’s not appreciated.

tootfox Sat 02-Dec-17 14:22:13

Thanks you! Yes I've asked him to call them today , I did suggest that maybe at a push we cud meet them out for lunch somewhere as then easy to escape, but I really don't want that either, I would love a big lovely family Christmas! (Just with someone else's family !)!! Xxx

CoolCarrie Sat 02-Dec-17 14:22:46

As it's often said on MN, NO is a complete sentence! Stick to your guns, and ask dh to tell them today. Don't apologise for not having them over, you deserve time with your dh.

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 02-Dec-17 14:23:19

Tell them. Put yourselves first. You have two days off. It’s very rude and presumptuous of them to invite themselves. And let them bitch and moan that you’re acting all bah humbug. You’re too tired. You are pregnant and only have 2 days off over Christmas. Why on Earth didn’t they invite you?

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 02-Dec-17 14:24:12

Cross post. Yeh I’d love a family Christmas. But not with my family either!

CoolCarrie Sat 02-Dec-17 14:24:17

Good to read that op, but don't do the lunch either.

Lizzie48 Sat 02-Dec-17 14:31:09

It's hard having in-laws you don't like. At least your DH is on board with you about it, though. (I struggle with my MIL, and my DH doesn't get it at all.) Your DH needs to tell them that it's not happening, you want a quiet Christmas this year in view of your pregnancy. Nothing more than that, it's better not to over share, I think.

tootfox Sat 02-Dec-17 15:31:22

I had a whole speech planned out, and then hubby just called mil and said no way! There not coming here there a nightmare ! ☺️! Yay!! Xx

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Sat 02-Dec-17 17:51:42

Dh would be getting a big fat snog for that!

Leeds2 Sat 02-Dec-17 17:54:07

Sometimes, it's best to tell it as it is!!

What did MIL say?

tootfox Sat 02-Dec-17 21:25:06

Thought he was joking at first! Lol then said ooh really!
Yes really !

He said plan what you want but please don't include us we need a stress free day and now hubby will see mil on Xmas day xx

😊☺️

AnnieAnoniMouse Fri 08-Dec-17 14:18:03

Excellent! He’s a keeper 😊

Happy Christmas 🎅🏻🍾🥂🎁

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