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DP and exes at wedding

(176 Posts)
WeddingArsehole Sat 02-Dec-17 08:47:40

I have been invited to the wedding of one of my partner's friends.

The wedding is in two weeks time and my partner has just turned round to me and said that a number of his exes will be there and that he doesn't want me giving him grief afterwards so I should 'prepare myself' for him talking to them if that is a problem.

His justification for saying this to me is because I challenged him about his inappropriate behaviour with a work colleague a number of years ago (I don't think anything happened but it wasn't for the lack of effort on his part). I obviously wasn't happy about this and expressed my concerns to him. This is the one time that I have challenged his behaviour. He has plenty of other female friends and I don't have a problem with them.

The groom's sister is one of his exes so I assumed she was going to be in attendance but I really was not bothered.

The situation with the colleague was years ago and he keeps bringing it up as evidence that I'm jealous.

I am really bemused by his behaviour and other than telling him that his exes being in attendance isn't an issue I don't really know what he is trying to achieve.

It sounds to me like he would like me to be jealous and I'm a bit peed off about the whole situation. He was really patronising to me - etching a J onto my forehead and saying 'jealous' over and over again.

This isn't normal behaviour is it?

AlternativeTentacle Sat 02-Dec-17 08:49:07

No. What happens when you tell him you really couldn't give a fuck?

ludothedog Sat 02-Dec-17 08:58:05

He sounds vile and it sounds like he's setting you up for him behaving badly. This way if you complain he can put it on you.

RebeccatheOld Sat 02-Dec-17 08:58:30

Wow, just ditch him he sounds tedious and like a right dick.

aplaceinthesun Sat 02-Dec-17 08:59:37

I think it sounds as if your DP fancies himself as a bit of a ladies man hmm I would keep bringing this up and repeatedly laugh and joke about it. He is basically telling you that he is going to be making the rounds and you are supposed to be insanely jealous.

DotDashBeep Sat 02-Dec-17 09:00:05

Wow. He’s a real gent, isn’t he! Knocking your confidence beforehand so he can say that you’re jealous and unreasonable to expect him to behave like an adult and not lech over his exes (who probably won’t give him much more than the time of day)

He’s a prick.

MagicFajita Sat 02-Dec-17 09:00:49

He's vile. Dump him.

letsdolunch321 Sat 02-Dec-17 09:02:18

Twat. I would think twice about being in a relationship with him

WeddingArsehole Sat 02-Dec-17 09:07:54

When I told him that this hadn't even crossed my mind as an issue, that's when he brought up that I was 'jealous' of the colleague situation and started etching the J on my forehead.

He is a bit of an arsehole. I get the feeling that he would prefer if I didn't go.

Lizzie48 Sat 02-Dec-17 09:08:13

Wow, he really fancies himself, doesn't he? What a prick, you should dump him.

YouThought Sat 02-Dec-17 09:10:41

Do you have kids? Can you LTB? Do you really want to go through life with someone who you think is a bit of an arsehole?

I'd rather be single.

abbsisspartacus Sat 02-Dec-17 09:12:04


WeddingArsehole Sat 02-Dec-17 09:12:05

No DC with him. I am increasingly coming to the view that I need to leave him. He repeatedly attempts to undermine my self confidence.

PragmaticWench Sat 02-Dec-17 09:13:42

Gosh, he's an embarrassment to himself! Do you really fancy a man who behaves like this? He sounds like David Brent...

eggsandwich Sat 02-Dec-17 09:13:44

Goodness me he really thinks he’s a stud doesn’t he.

I’d say it’s ok I’ll leave you to go on your own and I’ll find something better to do and just never contact him again.

abbsisspartacus Sat 02-Dec-17 09:13:54

Ok that was supposed to be longer 😂 he is a twat and you tell him he is absolutely right and it's best that you separate after all you wouldn't want to deprive all the other women the pleasure of his presence

Mrsdraper1 Sat 02-Dec-17 09:17:16

Tell him you were thinking of inviting an ex boyfriend.

FuzzyCustard Sat 02-Dec-17 09:19:53

"a number of exes..." he sounds a bit lotup himself, doesn't he?
Ok, if there was to one past significant other I might be more understanding, but not this.

specialsubject Sat 02-Dec-17 09:20:51

Thought for a minute this was your wedding, at least it isn't that bad.

So the reason you have sex with this patronising, controlling arsehole is.....???

WeddingArsehole Sat 02-Dec-17 09:24:06

Well that's what I said to him - how many of your exes will be there? Apparently at least 3 hmm. I wouldn't care but he only went out with the groom's sister for a few weeks. Why would I be jealous of that situation?

Pouncival Sat 02-Dec-17 09:25:28

Dump him and then you could be one of the exes at the next wedding....

WunWun Sat 02-Dec-17 09:27:02

You don't think he might be preparing to gas light you? I hope that's the right turn.. putting the thought in your head now so he can have a go at you for being jealous when he actually does flirt with his exes?

AlternativeTentacle Sat 02-Dec-17 09:27:15

If he is a bit of an arsehole, ditch the fucker. Seriously, don't shack up with him permanently.

lborgia Sat 02-Dec-17 09:27:38

Good lord woman, just stop! Stop! Seriously. If one of your friends asked your opinion on this man (I use the term lightly), what would you say?

Suddenly all these MN chestnuts come to mind “if he tells you who he is, believe him”, “LTB”, “are you on glue”...I’m going for a full house.

Maybe, if you want to keep seeing him, and that is your perogative, you need to ask him to laminate some flash cards with photos and salient details, so you don’t get all his exes mixed up. That would be awkward.

user1493413286 Sat 02-Dec-17 09:27:46

It’s odd; it’s almost setting up a situation where if you were to question anything he does at the wedding it would be just passed off as you being jealous

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