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Work's Christmas Dinner

(33 Posts)
Meowstro Fri 01-Dec-17 23:52:38

How late is too late for DH to stay out?

1. When "only having one" drink
2. Due to having a screaming baby at home
(Him: How is little one? Me: Still awake (screaming) Him: Oh no.)

Or am I just being resentful considering I felt guilty being out an hour and a half recently?

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace Fri 01-Dec-17 23:53:57

It's all depends if you felt guilty because he made you feel guilty or because you just didn't feel comfortable being out for long?

Chrys2017 Fri 01-Dec-17 23:54:36

I think you're on your own for this evening.
Let him enjoy himself without comment and then you can have a guilt-free night out next time it's your turn.

Meowstro Fri 01-Dec-17 23:58:17

@SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace Admittedly I said I'd 'pop in for one' but two calls later and disgruntled look when I get back as he can't really handle the baby when crying, I did feel guilty partly because of him.

cloudchasing Fri 01-Dec-17 23:58:24

Ah I would say it's just one of those things. Your turn next time.

Littlelambpeep Sat 02-Dec-17 00:00:50

It's once year. Book a facial or something and let him enjoy it

Amaried Sat 02-Dec-17 00:02:35

It's one evening. Can't believe you want to give him a curfew...
Can only imagine what would happen if my husband did that to me..

Meowstro Sat 02-Dec-17 00:03:25

Right I'll suck it up, just expected he'd be home by now since he's driving.

DontTouchTheMoustache Sat 02-Dec-17 00:06:54

Sorry op but i brought up a screaming baby every single day by myself, no dh to relieve me. I think if i can survive that then you can manage for tonight.
Dont give him a hard time, let him enjoy it properly and don't be stroppy with him. Its a rare night out, supposed to be fun for him.

Meowstro Sat 02-Dec-17 00:09:00

@Amaried I don't and never have. I think the difference in your comparison is that I am expected to stay at home with baby all the time without a thought for my down time - I expected it'd be scarce but not unequal. He'd said he'd be back in earlier, just like my scenario and I am not calling him am I?

blaaake Sat 02-Dec-17 00:11:33

Can't believe these responses hmm why should op have to just accept her husband being a selfish dick by going out all night as 'one of those things' when he makes her feel guilty for leaving for an hour and half?

Meowstro Sat 02-Dec-17 00:13:02

@DontTouchTheMoustache Totally get that there are single parents out there and know you are right. It's definitely resentment talking, he's gone on this works night out every year but it's the first he's been out late but I guess it's motherhood.

Chrys2017 Sat 02-Dec-17 00:15:24

blaaake Because both of them are also entitled to have a night off from the family, and they can facilitate this for one another in a loving way. OP can set a precedent here and then she need never feel guilty again when it's her turn to have a night off.

OP the disgruntled look might have been DH being disgruntled with himself for not handling the situation as well as you would have. However, he will learn and the child won't be any worse for it.

Myheartbelongsto Sat 02-Dec-17 00:50:02

How is her husband being a selfish dick!

And he hasn't been gone all night has he.

TiffanyAtBreakfast Sat 02-Dec-17 01:13:29

Ahh I feel for you OP, pisses me off when DH does this. Why promise to 'just go for one' when they know full well it won't be one. If your DH had just said from the start that he'd be back late, it still would've sucked to be holding the fort alone with a tiny scream machine, but at least you wouldn't have been clock watching and looking forward to / expecting his imminent return. (Which you were only expecting because of what HE agreed.)

YANBU at all for expecting him to stick to what you agreed like an adult.

Sayyouwill Sat 02-Dec-17 01:20:51

Oh for god's sake.
Let's flip this, you lot would be screaming if someone posted that their oh was posting on a public forum, whinging about them having a rare night out. People are allowed!

ReanimatedSGB Sat 02-Dec-17 01:32:22

Make sure you get a night out next week. Everyone needs time off.

blaaake Sat 02-Dec-17 01:32:57

Never said they both shouldn't be ideally entitled to a night off. But if her husband makes her feel guilty why should he get one?

blaaake Sat 02-Dec-17 01:36:01

And actually yes I would consider being gone till at least midnight as basically all night, when you have a baby.

farangatang Sat 02-Dec-17 02:03:56

Sounds like you and your DH need to have a conversation about what's acceptable to you both on a 'night out' - what other people do and don't tolerate is frankly irrelevant to your own thoughts/preferences/needs.

Can he really not 'handle' the baby crying OP? He's a parent, too so he had better learn to deal with this - there's plenty more to come! well said Chrys2017

RavingRoo Sat 02-Dec-17 02:14:54

You need to talk this out. It was unacceptable for him to cut your night out short, as it would be for you to do the same. Instead let him stay as late as he pleases and remind him afterwards that it will be your turn soon and he has to be as considerate.

RadioGaGoo Sat 02-Dec-17 04:43:50

No point in comparisons to single parenting. Completely different situations and dont be made to feel that your concerns are any less valid OP.

PastaOfMuppets Sat 02-Dec-17 06:30:26

OP, if my DH sooked and called me til I came home after 90 mins, he would get 90 mins out. What time did he come home? Hand him the baby and tell him not to call on you for help as now you are unavailable until you feel like being available again, and turn your phone to silent.

BackBoiler Sat 02-Dec-17 06:30:48

OP is also trying to make her DH feel guiilty - its just not working.

You both need to stop. If one of you is out only contact if it is important!

abbsisspartacus Sat 02-Dec-17 06:32:51

Address the crying baby ignore the big baby

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