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More of a wwyd? Feeling shit about what a colleague said..

(19 Posts)
SongforSal Fri 01-Dec-17 19:20:10

OK. Today my colleague announced to a room of people I was full of bullshit and a liar. A couple of people laughed at his outburst. I'm a bit floored.
For context, I have been there a few months in a respected industry. A couple of weeks ago we had a team meeting where it was about getting to know each other better and we were encouraged to share facts about ourselves. They were surprised to hear I play a couple of instruments well enough that I have helped teach kids, and that I was a child actress on the stage. All true and as far as sharing goes, that's not outlandish right?
Moving on, my long term Dp still works in the business, and works with famous people on an almost daily basis. This is something in my business environment I keep guarded. I'm generally vague about his job when asked, explaining only his role but would never name drop as its crass and has no bearing on either of us as a family. Anyway, the only thing I can think of is this colleague mentioned something to me a couple of weeks ago, and I corrected him as I know Dp is involved in what was mentioned (sorry to be vague)! Anyway, colleague said in what I thought was a jokey way 'bullshit', so I laughed it off and said if he wanted to know more then check out Dp's imdb page. Anyhow, it seemed lighthearted and he never asked for Dp's name anyway.
Today a bunch of people were talking and laughing, as I approached this colleague basically said something along the lines of 'oh, if we tell you what we were talking about you probably have a story about them. You are full of bullshit.' again, I only ever had a brief chat with him as I said above, and I NEVER talk about details of dps work or my past. (Other than that meeting, but other people were sharing equally random things)
Honestly don't know if it was some kind of passive aggressive bullying or what?! I didn't really respond at the time other than a bewildered 'everyone has a life, and ummm, nope. What am I bullshiting about?'

Thinking about it, the first time he said it obviously wasn't banter as I thought, now I'm home and a bit cross he spoke to me like that. So, wwyd? Ask him on Monday if he has a problem and what it is? Ignore what he said?

Doyoumind Fri 01-Dec-17 19:24:48

Do you both report into the same manager? I would mention it to them.

He sounds like a toxic kind of person.

Even if he thought you were bullshitting he was totally out of order to speak to you or about you like that.

mineofuselessinformation Fri 01-Dec-17 19:26:35

Let it rest - make a note if it, though.
If he does it again, call him on it - 'what do you mean?'.

RavingRoo Fri 01-Dec-17 19:29:21

Report it. Best to do these things immediately. Give the time and place.

Pumperthepumper Fri 01-Dec-17 19:52:49

I would report it. He wasn’t professional, and if it esculates it’s always good to have a paper trail.

SouthWindsWesterly Sat 02-Dec-17 03:32:01

Report. He out and out said you weren’t to be trusted in front of colleagues

araiwa Sat 02-Dec-17 04:16:18

Sounds more like a primary school than a place of work

EasterRobin Sat 02-Dec-17 05:51:54

What an unpleasant and unnecessary thing to say. He essentially won't believe that you may have more interesting connections and activities than he does?

You don't need to prove anything to anyone. The people that matter already believe you (and wouldn't mind even if you'd made something like that up). This person sounds like a waste of your mental energy.

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 02-Dec-17 06:08:42

Report him. Don’t let it rest. You are being sniggered about and humiliated in front of a group of your peers. This is bullying and will escalate.

Nellyphants Sat 02-Dec-17 06:10:29

I’d be extra smiley & nice to him. No point saying anything. Ignore. I’m guessing people already k ow he’s nasty.

Iwanttobe8stoneagain Sat 02-Dec-17 06:14:05

He’s a nob. Mention it to your manager

ChasedByBees Sat 02-Dec-17 07:47:01

I'd report it.

HolyMountain Sat 02-Dec-17 08:20:29

Him telling your colleagues you are full of bullshit needs addressing, what else might be being said behind your back?

I wouldn’t ignore it and would be dealing with it on Monday.

Lizzie48 Sat 02-Dec-17 08:24:28

You definitely need to report this, it's a form of bullying. Some people never leave the playground in terms of their behaviour. hmm

prettywhiteguitar Sat 02-Dec-17 08:24:37

I'm pretty shocked at the use of that kind of language in a workplace, especially after you've only known each other a couple of months.

I think I would try and talk to your line manager about it, I would nip this in the bud before he just talks like this as the norm

Feedmepringles Sat 02-Dec-17 08:24:43

He's a

Evewasinnocent Sat 02-Dec-17 08:31:44

WWID? Nothing - and smile in the knowledge he's a knob and I don't need to justify myself. Revenge (however small) is a dish served cold!

OliviaStabler Sat 02-Dec-17 08:39:08

Sounds to me like he is goading you so you get angry and tell him more about your dp's work and the famous people he knows / works with.

Some people get very offended when someone hints at something but then never actually talk about it. They feel like you are either lying or get upset that you hinted and feel aggrieved that you do not disclose more.

I'd quietly mention it to your manager.

HumphreyCobblers Sat 02-Dec-17 08:55:59

To me he sounds like one of those men who can't bear a woman he perceives as sounding or being 'above' him in any way, especially if she has put herself there.

I have met a few men like that in my time and their overt hostility to me has always shocked and surprised.

I would complain that he called me a liar and used offensive language.

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