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To wonder if it’s pathetic to live with parents aged 37?

(318 Posts)
orangecloves Fri 01-Dec-17 14:37:22

I just don’t like living on my own but I’ve had a few ‘jokey’ comments at work about it and I’m wondering if 2018 should be the year I fly free ...

RoryItsSnowing Fri 01-Dec-17 14:40:08

Is there a reason you haven't left yet? I personally needed my own space/life away from my family as soon as I'd finished uni BT each to their own.

DullAndOld Fri 01-Dec-17 14:40:37

it depends on the situation. If you and your parents enjoy each others company then why not?

I do find my 35 year old brother pathetic as he has never moved out of home and has pretty much the same lifestyle now as when he was a teenager. (smoking lots of pot, playing guitar, getting his 82 year dad to drive him to work)

At the same time he is judgemental and critical of other people's choices.

However if it suits you and your parents, then why not?

lou1221 Fri 01-Dec-17 14:44:36

Personally, I left home at 19. I loved being independent and having my own space. I had to recuperate from surgery at my parents quite a few years ago. I hated it, I felt so claustrophobic.
My dh didn't leave home until late 30s when we got married, his parents were resentful of him moving.

ShatnersWig Fri 01-Dec-17 14:48:24

I think you'd find a lot of children still live at home with parents who are aged 37... pedantic

Bluntness100 Fri 01-Dec-17 14:49:22

If you don’t like living on your own don’t. Have you tried it?

Yes most adults need their own space, to have a life which includes friends over, partners over, doing what they wish, but if you can do that there or don’t feel the need for any of that, then stay put.

How do your parents feel about it?

hidinginthenightgarden Fri 01-Dec-17 14:50:02

I think it depends on the circumstances.
DH best mate lives at home age 31 - his mum does his cooking, cleaning, pays his bills. HE contributes nothing and treats his mum like crap - pathetic.
My best friend (28) lives at home but lives independently if that makes sense. Eats with them sometimes but happily looks after herselve and contributes financially to the household - acceptable.

Peanutbuttercheese Fri 01-Dec-17 14:53:25

I cant understand why anyone would want to unless they had health issues which makes it completely understandable or were too hard up to afford their own place.

When looking for a life partner if I had come across anyone that age who had never left that was totally able bodied it would have been a definite turn off.

HolyShet Fri 01-Dec-17 14:54:49

have you never left?
have you left and returned?
pathetic? No so long as all are happy

IceFall Fri 01-Dec-17 14:55:02

Well..... honestly yes. But if it works for you why change?

orangecloves Fri 01-Dec-17 14:55:06

I’ve tried living alone but I didn’t like it ... felt weird

Sidge Fri 01-Dec-17 14:55:56

If my kids still lived at home at 37, barring homelessness, disability or illness, I'd wonder where I'd gone wrong.

If you don't want to live alone maybe look for a house share? I do think living with your parents when you're nearly 40 is weird, sorry.

Doobigetta Fri 01-Dec-17 14:56:22

Depends- forced to return home because of a crisis- unfortunate and there but for the grace of god.... Never even tried making it on your own- pathetic, sorry.

Bluntness100 Fri 01-Dec-17 14:56:28

The other thing would be, other than have you ever tried it, can you afford to live on your own?

Bluntness100 Fri 01-Dec-17 14:57:17

I’ve tried living alone but I didn’t like it ... felt weird

In what way, and for how long did you try it?

orangecloves Fri 01-Dec-17 14:57:32

I don’t really want a house share - tried before and found it not very sociable and petty rows surfaced about stuff.

formerbabe Fri 01-Dec-17 14:58:52

Depends on the reasons and the set up.

I'd think it pathetic if a perfectly healthy adult didn't contribute financially and help with housework, cooking, laundry etc.

If they work, socialise away from the family, contribute and pull their weight, then I don't think it's pathetic, though perhaps a little odd.

PinkBuffalo Fri 01-Dec-17 14:58:57

As PPs have said it depends on circumstances. I don't really get snarky comments because everyone I work with knows I go home and then spend the evenings giving my dad a break from looking after my severely disabled mum. Having said that, I'm a bit younger than you, and will be moving out hopefully next year. I am however looking at houses not too far so I can still do everything I need to help my lovely dad. Luckily I can get a terrace not far from here for well under £200k, so with mortgage and savings it's doable. Maybe this would be an option for you too? But do it for you, don't worry about what colleagues think.

Wishingandwaiting Fri 01-Dec-17 15:00:00

Not pathetic

But certainly not something to aspire to

PinkBuffalo Fri 01-Dec-17 15:00:27

OP, I did house share too. It was ok but not something I want now I'm older, it would be a nightmare!

orangecloves Fri 01-Dec-17 15:01:23

I agree it’s not something to aspire to - ideally I’d live with my own family but since that hasn’t happened and I hate living alone this seems to be the best solution available to me at this time.

Chrys2017 Fri 01-Dec-17 15:01:25

Everyone is different. Don't try to be so-called 'normal'—just do what makes you happy. Older adults living with parents is going to become more common as housing becomes less and less affordable, so just think of yourself as being ahead of the game!

Elllicam Fri 01-Dec-17 15:03:53

I don’t think it’s bad as long as you are paying your way and everyone is happy with it.

MoistCantaloupe Fri 01-Dec-17 15:04:16

You could find a flat mate to live with OP? Have you considered that option at all?

MoistCantaloupe Fri 01-Dec-17 15:05:12

Sorry, my computer froze and comment took ages to load - you have tried a flat share!

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