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Loneliness

(10 Posts)
Racmactac Fri 01-Dec-17 13:59:07

I know that this is no reason to stay in a relationship but how do you deal with the not having someone to talk to, to talk about those everyday things, someone to go to a party with?, to cuddle you at night.

How do you cope? I'm feeling pretty low at the moment so no bashing please.

PerfectlyDone Fri 01-Dec-17 14:02:13

thanks

No answers from me, sorry.
Personally, I am feeling less lonely now that I am on my own than I was in my marriage of 20 years. IME it is far worse being lonely in a relationship than just being on your own.

And I am really enjoying having the bed to myself... grin

Hugs from me to you - hope you feel better soon brew

yorkshapudding Fri 01-Dec-17 14:02:58

OP I have no advice really as I'm not in that situation.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're feeling rubbish and give you some flowers
It must be hard, especially at this time of year.

ClareB83 Fri 01-Dec-17 14:08:09

Honestly I very very rarely felt lonely in the years I lived alone. I liked being able to do whatever I liked whenever I liked. However I'd been live my with housemates rather than an OH, plus I had the cat.

However I think when my mum divorced she struggled with loneliness a lot at the beginning, but has gradually adjusted and now thinks she never wants to live with anyone again. I think the weekends are hardest, so it's good to see other people on a Friday night and some point over the weekend and have a plan. During the week routine usually takes over.

Call people, do things you like, redecorate.

Racmactac Fri 01-Dec-17 14:10:37

I have no family local to me and I have very few friends. How do I make friends? Not ones in couples that are all loved up?

JulietJuliet Fri 01-Dec-17 14:11:17

I can't give a lot of advice as I like being alone, but making plans, short-term and long-term, to see friends? Casual dating? Generally I only feel lonely if I have nothing to look forward to.

JulietJuliet Fri 01-Dec-17 14:11:49

Meetup.com? Start an adult education course? Book club?

CherryBlossomPink Fri 01-Dec-17 14:16:04

I was far lonelier in a marriage that wasn’t working than I am now I’ve left him and live alone.
Meet up.com has lots of groups for all interests - it takes time, but you feel so much stronger and happier when you quit a failing relationship ( even after 18 years together)

ClareB83 Fri 01-Dec-17 16:48:24

Yes meet.up was good. Dating apps when you are ready. A part time job somewhere sociable like a bar. Join a gym. Take a craft class. Good hobbies for meeting people include running, line dancing. Volunteer, you'll meet loads of like minded people if you choose something you believe in.

But don't do them all at once, you'll be exhausted and you'll probably have to practice mingling and small talk to get back in the habit.

Do take up some things you can enjoy on your own as well eg gardening, baking (you can take the treats into work).

A pet is good too. Borrow a Doggy is good if you can't take one on full time or you could foster for a pet charity if you can have them full time but can't afford one.

Racmactac Tue 05-Dec-17 20:19:48

Thank you for suggestions.
I have joined meetup and added myself to a Christmas Day walk which I think will be a lifesaver as I was really dreading being on my own in the morning.

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