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DS & DD sharing room at 9 & 5

(51 Posts)
Happyhappyveggie Fri 01-Dec-17 10:30:44

DS is nearly 10 & DD is nearly 6 and at the moment they have to share a room as we rent a 2 bed & can’t afford a 3 bed. It’s not been a problem so far as it still a bit like musical beds in our house with DD mostly wanting to sleep with me. But yesterday she went to play at another girls and came back very upset because the little girl had her own room & my DD obvs felt that her room wasn’t as good as she shares with her brother. I am also conscious that my DS can’t share a room with his little sister for much longer as they both need their own space.

AIBU to think another year might be ok though? Has anyone else had boy/girl sharing?

It makes me feel like such a failure that I can’t currently give them their own bedrooms- I have a small dining room in our tiny rental house that we have turned into a little play area for DD and I made her a den last night to cheer her up but it’s affecting us all having very little personal space. I worry about
DS hitting puberty and not having his own space.

CheapSausagesAndSpam Fri 01-Dec-17 10:32:41

Well what are you going to do "in a year or so" ? Will you be moving?

Happyhappyveggie Fri 01-Dec-17 10:35:06

Well yes, i’d like to but it means moving to a new area as I can’t afford to rent a 3 bed house where I live. That’s the problem. I haven’t found a new area yet so it’s going to take a while to work it all out

IceFall Fri 01-Dec-17 10:37:13

Can you make the dining room up into a room for DD?

IceFall Fri 01-Dec-17 10:37:28

Or you sleep in the dining room? Or sitting room on a good sofa bed?

Chrysanthemum5 Fri 01-Dec-17 10:38:06

My DS and DD shared until DS was 10 and Dd was 7. They both liked it and DD would still happily share with her brother now!

We kept DDs toys in the bedroom and cornered off part of another room for DSs toys so they each had their own play space and really only shared for sleeping. It worked really well for us.

Owletterocks Fri 01-Dec-17 10:40:02

Well I shared a room until I left home at 21! Sometimes needs must.

Could you split the room in half with a curtain or a screen and let them have their own half for now? So she feels like she has her own space?

My dd and ds share but are younger (4&5) so not had any problems yet

SaucyJack Fri 01-Dec-17 10:42:18

Are they in the biggest room?

Can you get a bit creative with the layout and some tall bookcases or room dividers to give them a bit more personal space?

stopfuckingshoutingatme Fri 01-Dec-17 10:44:47

Needs must OP . There is only so much money in the pot . Ignore any bashing and have a sensible conversation with your kids on this and how to address there are many options here

Happyhappyveggie Fri 01-Dec-17 10:44:49

They are in the biggest room in bunk beds - I have thought about a curtain or something as a temp fix- I just feel so bad for them I guess even though I shared a room on and off with my sister. I guess it’s when kids start comparing themselves to other children

BarbarianMum Fri 01-Dec-17 10:45:58

My friend's children - dd (16) and ds (13) share. Its not ideal but they can't afford a 3 bed flat. There is a little mezzanine area that one could move into but they prefer to share the largest bedroom using a floor to ceiling book case to divide the sleeping areas then a shared area w sofa and a tv.

Bitchywaitress Fri 01-Dec-17 10:46:01

I don't understand why your DD has a playroom but not her own bedroom?

Happyhappyveggie Fri 01-Dec-17 10:49:05

It’s not a playroom- we have a tiny kitchen and a tiny dining room in a 2 up 2 down with a table chairs etc in. She has a corner with a desk - our lounge only fits a sofa & chairs - it’s a tiny Terraced house.

Bettydownthehall Fri 01-Dec-17 10:49:05

OP don't worry. Yes it would be nicer for them to have their own rooms but they can't right now.

In other cultures and countries where they have bigger families and less room they manage.

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck Fri 01-Dec-17 10:49:22

We have this situation. All we can do is split the bunks and put in a foldaway screen. We can't put in a stud wall as our landlord sends people to "count and measure the rooms" every year. confused

liz70 Fri 01-Dec-17 10:50:22

If you can't move to a larger property then I think a sofa bed in the living room would be your best option. It's what we do and is really no big deal.

coddiwomple Fri 01-Dec-17 10:50:33

A common solution is for parent(s) to sleep in the living room and give the kids a room each. As you are the last one to bed and the first one up anyway, the only inconvenience is to have to make your bed every day (which most people do anyway)

If you do have a dining room separated from the living room or the kitchen, that's a room! Technically you have 3 bedrooms in your house! I would turn it into a bedroom straight away - even for you if you prefer to have the kids upstairs.

Happyhappyveggie Fri 01-Dec-17 10:53:25

@coddiwomple we have talked about this - I just worry it would cause issues with our letting agent kicking off about us using the room for ‘another purpose’ - I need to check the lease

SaucyJack Fri 01-Dec-17 10:54:22

I'd ditch the bunk beds then, for starters.

Mine had them when they were little, and they might be great for saving floor space- but they really are the worst possible option for siblings that are feeling cramped by each other.

B&Q do a semi-solid room divider link{\here} that's quite well reviewed if your budget stretches?

I do feel sorry for your DD, but there's a lot you can do if you've got a bit of time and money to spend. There was loads of stuff on Pinterest last time I looked.

Butterfr33 Fri 01-Dec-17 10:54:49

A common solution is for parent(s) to sleep in the living room and give the kids a room each. As you are the last one to bed and the first one up anyway, the only inconvenience is to have to make your bed every day (which most people do anyway)

This! It's what I would do in your situation.

Butterfr33 Fri 01-Dec-17 10:56:46

Do you need a table and chairs in the dining room? Can't you put a sofa bed in there instead for yourself?

Butterfr33 Fri 01-Dec-17 10:57:09

LA can't stop you from sleeping in your living room, don't be daft!

BarbarianMum Fri 01-Dec-17 11:01:03

I wouldnt sleep in my front room so a 9 year ild and 6 year old don't have to share. In a year or two maybe.

Going to friends houses and envying their bedrokm/garden/dog is part of growing up.

MrsStinkey Fri 01-Dec-17 11:08:05

I have a 2yo and 6 (almost 7yo) and live in a 2 bed terraced as well. Also not in a position to move at the moment though we have plans to in a a couple of years and are working very hard to do it. We're in the unfortunate position of having bought our house right before the economy crashed and it has since lost value and will be quite hard to sell. I think in your position though, having a small dining room, I'd put one of my DCs in there or move myself and DH there. Even if it's tiny. You can use the kitchen for cooking still and, depending on space, get one of the kitchen tables that folds down and you put the chairs inside so you can still sit and eat meals either in your kitchen or even living room?

Witchend Fri 01-Dec-17 11:09:20

I think 5yo is about the time they realise (girls especially) that other people have different things to them.
Dd1 was desperate for a cat like her best friend.
Dd2 came home asking when I'd tell her about her much older siblings in New Zealand like her friend had just found out about. hmm
(ds wanted a Harrier Jump Jet in the garden but that's another issue!)

I think that age is fine, my cousins chose to share at that age despite having another room available.
But it was the younger girl who decided it was time to move out, if I'm remembering right at about 7yo.

You could talk about giving her space of her own etc. but on one comment, I'd probably treat it a little like a "I want a pony, I'm sure we could keep it in out 5mx3m garden please" (both the girls did that!) and be a bit "yes dear" and she may well forget about it for a couple of years.

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