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To be a bit annoyed with my dm

(15 Posts)
bellalou1234 Thu 30-Nov-17 20:22:18

So, I was at work all
Weekend and my Mam offered to make me my dp and dd a Sunday lunch. I was able to nip to hers in my break. I then called after work to pick dp and dd's up. Said thank you a million times. Dp text to thank her.

Monday, I had the day off and drove her to do some errands, long drive and took about 5 hours in total. We then went for tea, bill came was £40 she was the like you pay after all I've made you all a meal. Money is really tight st moment, we didn't ask for the meal, she had, had the chicken in freezer for ages.. and tbf it wasn't all that..

Anyway was my dp birthday and she'd mentioned getting his a bottle of wine, which I assumed was a birthday gift.. no it's for Christmas.. we've been together 10 years and personally I think a card isn't enough. For context she buys sil loads about £50 plus birthday and Christmas..

Aibu?

RunRabbitRunRabbit Thu 30-Nov-17 20:26:08

What are you asking if you are being unreasonable about?

Ellisandra Thu 30-Nov-17 20:30:38

1. Can't your husband manage to feed himself and your daughter when you're a work? confused

2. If money is tight, why go out to eat to the tune of £40? (though I think she's cheeky to expect you to pay her £20 - was it £20 share?)

3. You're taking the piss saying her cooking wasn't all that! CF!!!

4. Doesn't matter that it was in the freezer, it still cost her money and time!

5. Some people think women are easier to buy for (and perhaps your husband isn't easy). Either way - a bottle of wine is a perfectly acceptable present and you sound grabby.

Mumof56 Thu 30-Nov-17 20:31:18

she has your dp and dd at her house for the day while you are at work, cooks you all dinner but tbf it wasn't all that

we've been together 10 years and personally I think a card isn't enough

What happened to the bottle of wine? Did it morph in to a card?

Ellisandra Thu 30-Nov-17 20:31:56

Ah sorry, the wine was Xmas.

Ellisandra Thu 30-Nov-17 20:33:32

Only you know the backstory here.

What you see as you doing her a favour running errands for 5 hours might in her view just be mum and daughter hanging out and shopping together.

bellalou1234 Thu 30-Nov-17 20:35:22

No, my partner and daughter were all at work Sunday, she absolutely insisted on making it. We are more than capable obviously, but as she was so insistent said yes.

bellalou1234 Thu 30-Nov-17 20:37:54

It really wasn't shopping... Monday was my first day of in 7. Just think for her to expect me to foot the bill is a bit much, especially as she went for 3 courses and 2 glasses of wine

Mumof56 Thu 30-Nov-17 20:38:33

No, my partner and daughter were all at work Sunday

Do they work at your mother's house?

I then called after work to pick dp and dd's up

Booie09 Thu 30-Nov-17 20:38:55

A bit rude to say it wasn't all that!! But she offered to make you lunch you didn't ask her to make it!! But C.F. to me! It's like when people give to receive.

bellalou1234 Thu 30-Nov-17 20:39:14

Pick their dinners up!

Sirzy Thu 30-Nov-17 20:41:56

Surely you don’t go out for a meal without sorting who pays what first?

Sounds almost like your looking for reasons to be offended tbh

Ellisandra Thu 30-Nov-17 20:51:54

Hmmm, I've had a scroll through some of your earlier threads. Sometimes it highlights the difference between a CF (cheeky fucker) daughter and a nightmare mother.

Seems you do have issues putting boundaries in place. And that's evident here too - absolute nonsense that you had to go because she insisted. You can say no.

And a reason why you have £9K of credit card debt is because you'll drop £40 for 2 on lunch out. In your position I'd have said no to the lunch. Or if a yes then she asked you to pay, say "sorry mummy, I'd love to treat you especially after Sunday dinner - but I'm really short this month so I can't pick all of this one up. Would you like to come for dinner at mine on Fri though?"

As for the lack of birthday present for your boyfriend... have you shared the things he's done that you've posted about on here? If so, chances are she thinks he's an arsehole and doesn't want to get him a present.

singingdetective Thu 30-Nov-17 20:51:59

I'm confused; she insisted on making dinner but you went out and you had to pay for it?

Ellisandra Thu 30-Nov-17 20:54:22

You sound waaaaaay too much in each other's pockets. So - not only did you go to hers for your own Sunday dinner on your work break, but you want back to hers after work to pick up a takeaway Sunday dinner to take home to your husband and adult daughter, yes?

You need to learn the word no.

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