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Demanding the kids carry Drunk Grandad to bed at Xmas

(202 Posts)
Lanaorana2 Thu 30-Nov-17 19:35:46

Elderly parents off to stay with their DS and DGCs (three teens) at Xmas. Lovely. DF is an alcoholic. Not so lovely. DM has asked in advance that the DGCs are on hand to 'get Granpa to bed safely'. Dbro and Dsil can't do it on their own, not strong enough.

Granpa, who is 6 foot, will be drunk and a dead weight, needs carrying by two hefty teens to the guest room. At the last family party at their house he had to be carried and put to bed. He walks fine when he hasn't drunk a bottle of scotch.

He falls in his own home often; neither he nor his wife see the need for change. But are they being U or non-U asking their DGC to get involved?

Pengggwn Thu 30-Nov-17 19:36:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Passmethecrisps Thu 30-Nov-17 19:36:42

Do you need to ask this? No child of mine would be put in that situation.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Thu 30-Nov-17 19:37:33

I’d leave him in the porch. They are BU. I wouldn’t carry any drunk grown up to bed.

FuzzyCustard Thu 30-Nov-17 19:38:05

Totally his responsibility, not that of the DGC. YANBU. (And a blooming awful thing for them to be expected to do)

DJBaggySmalls Thu 30-Nov-17 19:38:13

Unreasonable, what a terrible Christmas memory that will be.
(Plus the mattress will need a protector.)

BenLui Thu 30-Nov-17 19:38:31

They are being terribly unreasonable. They must know that.

ScreamingValenta Thu 30-Nov-17 19:38:33

They are being very U in my opinion - it must be unpleasant and distressing for the DGCs to see their Grandpa in that state.

Finola1step Thu 30-Nov-17 19:38:55

Not A Chance!

Pringlemunchers Thu 30-Nov-17 19:39:27

Talk about normalising shitty behaviour !!! No way !!!! Not on at all !

Lanaorana2 Thu 30-Nov-17 19:41:13

I'm with you - no one in the family is expecting the Werther's original ad, but this is not on.

ohfourfoxache Thu 30-Nov-17 19:41:39

No fucking chance shock

MissConductUS Thu 30-Nov-17 19:42:16

Just throw a blanket over him wherever he passes out. That's actually much safer than trying to move him, for everyone involved.

SparklyMagpie Thu 30-Nov-17 19:42:45

No child of mine would be doing this, let me tell you!

Absolutely horrifying your DM has asked this

I do wonder why you're posting, as surely you wouldn't approve?

Thus is disgusting sad

rachelracket Thu 30-Nov-17 19:42:50

disgraceful. my children wouldn't be going anywhere near that house.

SparklyMagpie Thu 30-Nov-17 19:43:13

Sorry Xpost

MoistCantaloupe Thu 30-Nov-17 19:43:51

No way! If he was a recovering alcoholic who was trying and had a slip up then yes, people can help, that's different...but not a pre-planned action plan of enablement including teenagers. Horrible.

Lanaorana2 Thu 30-Nov-17 19:44:05

MIss is that right? I really do need to know how to handle these drunken nights, as you can imagine. He's too hard to lift. If that was recommended practice, would be great to know.

CassandraCross Thu 30-Nov-17 19:44:08

How about Dbro and Dsil demand that DF doesn't get paralytic in front of their children?

I wouldn't have him in the house.

Bubblebubblepop Thu 30-Nov-17 19:44:22

Who usually puts him to bed?

EdinaMonsoon Thu 30-Nov-17 19:44:36

This situation is very very wrong. To tell children (or in fact anyone) in advance of what should be a lovely time to be with family that they will be required to carry a drunken grown man to bed is just appalling. Don't let this happen OP if that is at all possible. I have a great deal of empathy with alcoholics but neither they nor the people around them should be pandering to & facilitating them in this way. If his DW chooses to facilitate and excuse his drinking that is up to her. She should not be asking & expecting others to do so. I would be outraged if someone asked this of my DCs.

SparklyMagpie Thu 30-Nov-17 19:44:40

And exactly what rachelracket has said - my child would be going nowhere near and he, no actually both parents, would not be invited round if this was their attitude

5BlueHydrangea Thu 30-Nov-17 19:45:51

Recovery position, on the floor. Blanket on as pp said. Step over him!
Or make it clear the dc will not be helping so something needs to change.

NovemberWitch Thu 30-Nov-17 19:46:20

It’s unpleasant, especially if grandpa is not attempting to moderate his drinking, but taking care of friends or relatives when they are pissed is an adult rite of passage. If he’s a drunk, who takes care of him and puts him to bed usually? Does he just stay where he falls?
Both my children are young adults, they have looked after paralytic friends numerous times. I’d rather that than their friends choke or get seriously hurt.

PrincessoftheSea Thu 30-Nov-17 19:46:58

shockno way

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