Advanced search

To say no to more Christmas presents?

(17 Posts)
StealthPolarBear Thu 30-Nov-17 19:24:55

Firstly my parents are wonderful. I am incredibly lucky to have them and I love them a lot. The problem I am about to outline is a very minor, incredibly first world problem.
I have two dc. My mothers only grandchildren and pretty much her reason for living. She spoils them rotten and my dad is happy to support her in this.
A few months ago we had the endless what can I get them for Christmas issue. They have to spend a decent amount of money, equal on both, and end up with the same number of parcels of roughly equal size. All sorted, all happy.
They saw the dc yesterday and apparently ten year old ds mentioned this other thing he really wanted for Christmas with a quiver in his little voice, the poor child. So she called to say should she get him this as well.
I said no bevasue:
-she'd been happy, she just wanted to get this because he'd mentioned it (he's no fool and knows he has all four grandparents under his thumb).
-I'd then be harassed about what could she get dd to make it 'even'.
-a couple of months later I'd be hassled for ideas for his birthday
She was disappointed and I feel bad sad

Crumbs1 Thu 30-Nov-17 19:28:29

No enough is enough. Lovely to have indulgent grandparents but good to stand firm about overindulgence and responding to every whim. Let it wait for the birthday.

Leeds2 Thu 30-Nov-17 19:29:29

Not unreasonable at all. But don't be surprised if said item is bought anyway!
Would it help if you suggested that she bought it for his birthday?

StealthPolarBear Thu 30-Nov-17 19:31:02

Thank you both! Nice to know it's not me being a bitch.. I don't think she will buy it anyway. And I did suggest the birthday but how will this poor little spoiled child cope on Christmas morning when he doesn't get EVERYTHING he asked for?? How can she look him in the eye?

YellowMakesMeSmile Thu 30-Nov-17 19:34:59

I'd have let her, it's her money and she could have just bought it anyway as most people don't ask for permission before they buy gifts.

StealthPolarBear Thu 30-Nov-17 19:35:36

Yesterday I was watching a film about children in yemen. Skeletal and suffering from cholera. I will harden my heart to the suffering of my poor little rich boy. Ds is lovely and more mature than she realises.

StealthPolarBear Thu 30-Nov-17 19:37:29

True yellow you do have a point.. It is her money and she keeps pointing out she can't take it with her. They are mid sixties so presumably with sufficient will they could spend some money between now and death grin (hopefully)
They keep saying they have lots of money to spend, I feel like saying please set the dc up with a pension then. But that would be rude.

StealthPolarBear Fri 01-Dec-17 19:34:13

Arrgh. Just had an email, they're taking another gift they got him back so they can give him this.

aplaceinthesun Fri 01-Dec-17 19:50:57

Let her get it for him OP. She will get joy from it, so will the DC. The charity shop will be thrilled when he loses interest too grin. I had a DGM like this growing up, she was absolutely amazing and 20 years on I still miss her sad

StealthPolarBear Fri 01-Dec-17 20:04:59

I will get hassled for ideas for his birthday. I will fail to deliver. I will fail to keep his room tidy when it's crammed full of crap. I am raising a spoiled brat

JustHope Fri 01-Dec-17 20:12:22

I am in a similar position with MIL who wants to buy our DCs absolutely everything they want. She asks them what they want for Christmas and sometimes this might be things that we are planning on getting or something that I don’t want them to have. Like your DC they are old enough to know exactly what buttons to push too. I have no objection to her treating them but too much stuff is not always appreciated and I would prefer that she put some money aside for their future.

Originalfoogirl Fri 01-Dec-17 20:20:19

* I am raising a spoiled brat*
That’s unfair. It is entirely possible for children who have plenty not to be “spoiled brats”. Our girl wants for very little, she is far from a “spoiled brat”. In her little life she has faced many hard things and still faces more. She gets most things she asks for, but she is always the first in line to help those less fortunate than us. I did my volunteering day at a clothing charity last week and she made sure she gave me some clothes to give to them. And not old stuff she didn’t want, she gave clothes she really likes. Last year she asked for one single thing from Santa and in her letter wrote she knew he had lots of children who don’t get many toys so give them extra.

Spoiled doesn’t come from having things they ask for, it comes from not teaching them about real life with it.

StealthPolarBear Fri 01-Dec-17 20:29:43

Ds has learned that if he drops a hint and looks pathetic grandma will leap into action

girlywhirly Fri 01-Dec-17 20:36:12

It’s good that the GPs are giving equal amounts of presents to each child. But I do think they could look to the future more. Would they be more amenable to suggestions of contributing to the DGC savings accounts, you could talk about driving lessons, buying cars, college etc.

At least they are going to take one present back to get the more recent thing.

StealthPolarBear Fri 01-Dec-17 20:40:54

They would do both smile
OK I'm over my grumpiness now. I am specifically trying to have less stuff while acknowledging children need toys. But still.

EDSFI Fri 01-Dec-17 21:18:21

Originalfoogirl is spot on with her comment x

bridgetreilly Fri 01-Dec-17 21:52:04

I think swapping the present is a pretty good compromise, to be honest. She's obviously trying to respect your wishes to limit the total spend and number of presents.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: