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AIBU?

To think my life is too precarious

53 replies

Happyhappyveggie · 30/11/2017 14:03

This is a financial post- I have 2 dcs and rent in the south of England. I have a ‘good’ job but our basic outgoings- rent, bills etc are 2k a month and my income covers that. But it doesn’t cover food & living and my DPs salary covers that and he doesn’t earn as much. Our main outgoing is ridiculously expensive rent to be honest. If one of us lost our job, we would be screwed.
Aibu to think our life is very precarious?
I don’t sleep some nights worrying about it- we struggle now and it’s mostly to do with the bloody rent which is £1200 a month.
The solution is obviously to move- we couldn’t buy a house here hence the renting etc. I lie awake thinking about how we could feasibly move but my whole life is here.
WWYD? AIBU?

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tinysparklyshoes · 30/11/2017 14:06

I think most peoples are. A lot of us anyway.

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upperlimit · 30/11/2017 14:07

I think if I were in the same situation, if you have the kind of jobs that don't limit you to one location, I'd move.

I know that is going to be a tremendous amount of upheaval and readjusting but it has to be better than worrying the rest of your life away?

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SleightOfMind · 30/11/2017 14:12

Would your jobs or commute allow you to move somewhere cheaper? What is your ‘whole life’?

Friends? Clubs & hobbies? Or elderly relatives who rely on you?

I’d definitely move if I could. You don’t have to go far for rents to fall so wouldn’t lose touch with important things.

The worst that could happen is you hate it and move back having built up some savings!

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Happyhappyveggie · 30/11/2017 14:12

The jobs are fairly geographically mobile but it just all feels so overwhelming to be honest. I think renting amplifies it too as it feels extra precarious.

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Happyhappyveggie · 30/11/2017 14:13

By whole life I mean jobs, friends, kids settled in school etc

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upperlimit · 30/11/2017 14:17

Do you have anywhere in mind that you'd move too.

Could you start just mapping out on paper what moving would entail and how much you would stand to gain? Phone a few estate agents. You could take a trip out to this place and see if you start building in confidence?

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SleightOfMind · 01/12/2017 10:57

Then in answer to your OP, yes, I’d be looking into moving.
Why not start researching less pricey areas which would work for. You might find Somewhere within school catchment.

Once you’ve narrowed it down, you could investigate further and see if you could be happy there.
Small steps and there’s no harm in looking.

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ScipioAfricanus · 01/12/2017 11:32

How old are your children? They would adjust to a new area in a reasonably short space of time unless they are teenagers, most likely.

I’d move if you could. I think. We are also SE England and planning on moving further north in a few years (though this will move me closer to my family so not the same). We own our house but can’t move up the property ladder here unless we got a ridiculous mortgage.

I have a friend who is selling up (SE too) and she and her husband are moving far north, so they can both do some more freelance work and they will move from a small 3 bed to a large 4/5 bed and actually spend less money so they’ll have a minimal mortgage.

If the worry is becoming so all consuming then the negatives about moving might outweigh the benefits of you staying where you are.

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TheViceOfReason · 01/12/2017 12:27

Fairly normal situation - and renting is no more precarious than owning - less so in some ways as you won't suddenly face an unexpected bill for a new boiler, roof repair or failed double glazing.

If you can't afford your mortgage you will lose your home just as if you can't afford the rent.

I don't imagine there are many couples who are both employed and who wouldn't be in trouble if one of them lost their job?

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tinysparklyshoes · 01/12/2017 14:00

renting is no more precarious than owning

Are you on glue? If you own you aren't at risk of being chucked out for any number of reasons. That's the stupidest thing I've heard this week on MN, and there was a lot of competition!

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easyReader · 01/12/2017 14:11

What are your long-term plans?

What are you saving and how will you support yourselves when you retire?

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Gohackyourself · 01/12/2017 19:31

Tiny sparkly shoes

The op’s are not on glue.

If you own outright then your not precarious- yet very few people at the posters assumed age do own outright- so your in just such same position.
With house prices sky high- thus mortgages- it only takes one of you to loose your job to Be “deemed” as in precarious position.
Never forget it’s not yours until you pay the final mortgage payment.

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tinysparklyshoes · 01/12/2017 19:39

The OP is not. The person I quoted is, clearly. If you think renting is the same as having a mortgage, so are you Hmm

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Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 01/12/2017 19:39

I think most households would be sunk if one earner lost their job, so your situation is pretty normal.

In reality if you lost your job and your DP is low earning, you would get some housing benefit because you rent, so in fact you might be better off renting in that sense.

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FlowerPot1234 · 01/12/2017 19:49

Confused If rent and bills are £2k a month, rent is £1200, food and living is paid for by your DP, what are you spending that £800 per month of "bills" on?

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tallwivglasses · 01/12/2017 19:54

How's your credit rating? If the worst happened at least you could juggle with 0% cards until you got sorted out. Not ideal - but better than going under.

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Gohackyourself · 01/12/2017 19:59

Tunysparklyshoes-
Thanks for that insult

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RandomMess · 01/12/2017 20:03

I know it may not help with the muddle of the night fear but if one of you lost your job you would likely qualify for partial housing and council tax benefit Thanks

It's pretty grim out there for very many working people Xmas Sad

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HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 01/12/2017 20:05

I think one of the problems with the uk housing crisis is the widespread belief that everyone is better off having a mortgage rather than renting.

Having a massive debt on an illiquid asset isn't necessarily more secure!

But yes op if you are stretched in the SE and could transfer your jobs I would definitely move to a cheaper area. So many lovely parts of the uk where you won't lie awake worrying about money. You will all settle in a new area.

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Gohackyourself · 01/12/2017 20:17

Exactly the point I was trying to make hopelesslyaddictedtogu-before people get patronising.

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otherdoor · 01/12/2017 20:25

I'm also a bit confused on the figures. £800 is a lot to spend on bills! What does this cover? And one person's whole salary, even if they're a low earner, is surely enough for food and other living?

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Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 01/12/2017 20:41

I'm guessing wraparound childcare will account for the bills?

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Happyhappyveggie · 01/12/2017 21:42

Is £800 a lot on bills?
Council tax, 2 car insurances, 2 Road taxes for cars, water, elec & gas, Internet/phone at home, 2 mobiles, a loan payment, life insurance, tv licence- isn’t that all quite normal?

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Jerseysilkvelour · 01/12/2017 21:54

You've actually got a lot of non essential expenditure there. Say one if you lost your job - Loan payments can be stopped if you really needed to. Two cars - you could think about finding a way to cut down to one or none (I'm sure you have a wonderful reason why you need two cars etc etc, but if it came to the crunch you might be forced to give one/them up - you can afford it at the moment though). Mobiles can always be economised on. You actually have a lot of leeway and it's not just your rent that's squeezing you, it's your lifestyle commitments.

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FlowerPot1234 · 01/12/2017 21:56

Is £800 a lot on bills?

Crikey, yes.

... a loan payment, life insurance...

Also depends what these amounts are.

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