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Would you look after a friends child for three days?

(111 Posts)
Tinkerbec Thu 30-Nov-17 13:46:03

Well exactly as it says in the title.

Friend of two years ( have kids at same school) has asked if we can look after her child for three days and nights.

One night I see no problem but three seems a lot. My dd does not get on well with her child as she is pretty hard work. Sulking, complaining, always hungry. It is ok for a bit but three days.

We don’t have much room for her either as I am staying with my parents.

Friend is going to a concert and a selling conference for her job. I mean I would if she was in hospital or something. I also would for my sisters kids and my best friends children.

AIBU?Would you?

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried Thu 30-Nov-17 13:47:17

Not under those circumstances Op. your daughter will be miserable. It’s not fair on her.

Snap8TheCat Thu 30-Nov-17 13:47:29

Completely depends on the child!

jay55 Thu 30-Nov-17 13:47:30

Not if they don’t get along with your child, that would be madness.

pullingmyhairout1 Thu 30-Nov-17 13:48:18

No way. Agree one night but not 3.

lunar1 Thu 30-Nov-17 13:48:20

No, not a child that mine didn't get on with. It's cheeky to ask. I'd look after them for a few hours for a friend but no more. I've done this for children my two get on with though.

hesterton Thu 30-Nov-17 13:48:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hisnamesblaine Thu 30-Nov-17 13:48:45

Can't you share it with family member of hers? Do a day and a half each?

cheminotte Thu 30-Nov-17 13:48:56


Dozer Thu 30-Nov-17 13:49:39

Not in those circumstances.

Tinkerbec Thu 30-Nov-17 13:51:39

She will not stay with her older sister as last time she didn’t have enough food in the house. Apparently she went to bed crying hungry.

So she ssys there is only me.

My parents are not keen either as she relies on them too for a few school pick ups etc

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck Thu 30-Nov-17 13:52:15

My best friend looked after DD when I went in to be induced. That was 2 days. Luckily DD and her DD were also best friends. DD did stay up until 10.45 the first night though! 😴😴😴😴😴😴 So I think my answer is, not in your circumstances.

SuburbanRhonda Thu 30-Nov-17 13:52:23

Is she aware your children don’t get on? It would be strange if she knew but asked anyway.

And no, I don’t think you should because you’ve listed so many negatives and no positives.

chickenowner Thu 30-Nov-17 13:53:07

Tell her that your parents have said no. If you're staying with them then they should have a say!

Kentnurse2015 Thu 30-Nov-17 13:54:35

Nope. 3 nights?! No way.

Tinkerbec Thu 30-Nov-17 13:55:01

No she is not aware as my daughter plays with her for a bit when she is here.
It’s after a while she sulks if she doesn’t get her own way and helps herself to food in the kitchen which I find quite rude.

Tinkerbec Thu 30-Nov-17 13:56:37

She says she needs the money for Cheap that she will make over the three days.

So feel a bit guilty. confused

AnneLovesGilbert Thu 30-Nov-17 13:57:44

Not a chance. Your priority is your own child! And you know she'd be miserable.

This "friend" shouldn't have committed to work or social plans without first sorting suitable childcare. Putting it on saying you're her only option is beyond ridiculous. As you say, it's not an emergency, it's poor planning and she has a right nerve making this your problem.

My parents are not keen either as she relies on them too for a few school pick ups etc

Sorry, what?

BewareOfDragons Thu 30-Nov-17 13:57:55

I wouldn't even consider it under the circumstances you have described.

"Sorry. No." That is all.

You don't owe anyone an explanation. It won't work for you. End of.

Mookatron Thu 30-Nov-17 14:00:54

No I wouldn't, not in these circumstances. She can take food to her older sister's house!

You don't need to explain but if you feel like you want to just say it doesn't work because of your parents and space. And also just no.

Tinkerbec Thu 30-Nov-17 14:00:55

Sorry, what?

She often phones my Dad asking to pick up her child as she is doing something.
She has offered to get mine in return though but they say no as she ends up staying two hours and my Mother ends up cooking them tea.

Thanks everyone. I will not feel guilty.
It would be a nightmare

MinervaSaidThat Thu 30-Nov-17 14:02:15

Good God no.

How did your parents get involved with her school pick-ups?

Tinkerbec Thu 30-Nov-17 14:02:22

No I wouldn't, not in these circumstances. She can take food to her older sister's house!

I think there was food. Child is 4 stones overweight I think the sister tried to police this. Maybe from the wrong angle.

Downhillatfifty Thu 30-Nov-17 14:02:55

If the only reason why the child can't go back to stay with the older sister is that there is not enough food in the house why isn't your friend sending food for her child? which she should be doing anyway
This suggests that if you agreed you would not only have the pleasure of this child's company but that you would also be expected to provide all the food as well.
Agree I would also do it in an emergency or for hospital stay or if your DD liked the child as a friend and would like to have them to stay.
It sounds like you / your parents already help out so don't feel under any obligation to this request..

MinervaSaidThat Thu 30-Nov-17 14:03:08

Cross post.

Is she even a good friend to you?

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