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AIBU to send Christmas cards to people I know won't send them back?

(65 Posts)
FEJ2016 Thu 30-Nov-17 06:47:43

So a few people I know don't send Christmas cards any more. Either they have done the big fb post 'we're giving to charity' or they're just not into sending cards, but I absolutely LOVE sending Christmas cards to everyone I care about to wish them a merry Christmas. I'd like to send them one too even if they're not going to reciprocate. I'm one of those annoying people who makes their own card with a festive picture of their own baby on smile
I'm not remotely offended if they don't send one back, but last year I got a couple of messages on fb saying 'thank you for the card but we did say we're not sending them this year'... does that mean they don't want one at all even if I am? I don't want to offend people I just want to spread Christmassy joy smilesmile

NowtAbout Thu 30-Nov-17 06:51:46

I don't send cards (waste of paper and money) but tbh the only ones I like getting are personal ones.

TroysMammy Thu 30-Nov-17 06:52:10

I only display close family ones. My sister, who I see on Christmas Day started that "tradition". Any cards I receive sit in a pile. I do like making cards but don't usually send them confused

AuntieStella Thu 30-Nov-17 06:52:33

I would send them.

OK I've pruned my card list considerably in the last couple of year, but I still send. And like you, I don't care if I get one back or not.

I don't particularly like people drawing attention to giving to charity instead - it's just virtue signalling really. Send/don't send, give to charity/don't give to charity, Uk to you but don't make a song and dance about it.

That said, someone who is so incredibly rude as to to tell you off for sending them a Christmas card is someone I might have seen rather less of over the year, which would naturally lead to falling off the card list.

Pandapenguin Thu 30-Nov-17 06:56:21

It’s a lovely thing to do but honestly i personally am not a card person and i would rather not get one. It irritates me as even though all of my friends know i don’t do them i have a couple who insist and it makes me feel like shit for not giving one back. I feel like im forced to participate and i dont want any cards

ButteredScone Thu 30-Nov-17 06:57:47

Yes, please do! I absolutely love getting Christmas cards. I always intend to send them but never get any further than writing them for my workmates.

I really do think it is a little friendship boost though.

FinallyHere Thu 30-Nov-17 08:22:05

I feel a lot a bit obliged to give cards back, so would much prefer to not receive cards.

Before social media and email, we used to use Christmas cards to keep in touch with people who had moved away. Now, I honestly don't see the point. My mother, who struggles to use a phone never mind a tablet, loves to get cards. Me, really, not so much, please don't.

NewtsSuitcase Thu 30-Nov-17 08:27:22

I think people worry about the environmental impact nowadays. The production, the transportation etc.

The DC still give some but I'm on the small steps thread (small steps to save the environment) and we've cut out the other christmas card sending this year for that reason. I wouldn't find it offensive to receive them but might gently explain to some people why we are not sending this year.

DurhamDurham Thu 30-Nov-17 08:30:29

The only cards I display are ones from family and close friends, the rest are either left at work or go straight into a bag to be taken to recycling in the new year. I still see houses with cards stuck up all over the place, on doors and walls etc but I think that looks awful. Each to their own I suppose smile

Nikephorus Thu 30-Nov-17 09:14:56

thank you for the card but we did say we're not sending them this year
If I got that message I'd definitely not be even considering sending them another card. A simple thank you from them would have been enough.

Nyx1 Thu 30-Nov-17 09:23:29

It's up to you but if you know they are going straight in the bin why bother?

GreatDuckCookery Thu 30-Nov-17 09:24:05

I think it’s a nice idea OP. I’m not a card sender generally, I buy one box for the neighbours. I don’t expect or care if I get one sent back.

specialsubject Thu 30-Nov-17 09:28:00

I like them, send one to me!

They are a gift which means reciprocation not expected.

But it will be a pound a stamp before long so numbers are dropping.

Ecureuil Thu 30-Nov-17 09:31:52

Are Christmas cards meant to be a reciprocal thing? I don’t tend to send them anymore but when I did I wouldn’t have any real idea whether the people I sent one to, sent one back.
We still get cards even though we don’t send them. I usually display them. I don’t not send them because I have anything against them. I’m just lazy

Iprefercoffeetotea Thu 30-Nov-17 10:41:09

I send fewer and fewer each year. The stamps are expensive and it's a PITA to stand in a queue to buy the stamps for the overseas ones. I don't really get any pleasure out of receiving them, either, unless someone writes a note on them. Dear x and y have a lovely Christmas from a and b is a bit boring, really. I just send them to the aged relatives who would be upset if they didn't get one.

I had a few left over from last year but needed a few more. When I was in the supermarket they had a 3 for 2 offer on the boxes but I counted them up and decided that I would have too many (and I don't really like stockpiling until next year). So I just bought one box of 20, and we had another 10 which DH bought last year.

Fine. Then yesterday, DH came in with another 30 that he'd bought on the 3 for 2. I mean - why so many? He said we can keep them for next year but I don't want to, I want to buy ones I like next year. The other thing he does, which I really don't like, is that he won't use up one box first. He uses a few from each packet (which are generally different sizes), and that means we need more storage space for all the ones we now have to keep for next year. First world problems and all that, but it really annoys me. We really didn't need any more of them!

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername Thu 30-Nov-17 10:47:09

I send them ..and don't mind if I don't receive back. However, over the years, two separate families have sent me cards back, literally saying, "please don't send us cards anymore". Fine...I won't, but all these years later am still struggling to wonder why !!!

happypoobum Thu 30-Nov-17 10:54:21

I don't send cards any more - for me it's about the environmental impact.

If people have kindly suggested you do not send them cards it's a bit rude to continue to do so really, although I can see you have the best of intentions.

ComtesseDeSpair Thu 30-Nov-17 10:55:10

I send cards. I like sending cards. And as far as I'm concerned as long as I like it that's all that matters. It's fine if you don't like sending cards, I don't expect to receive cards, I don't see it as a reciprocal thing, but getting annoyed because you think other people should fall in line with your own personal preference not to send cards is a bit much. And writing to somebody to tell them how offended you were to have received a card is both rude and odd.

Ecureuil Thu 30-Nov-17 10:58:08

And writing to somebody to tell them how offended you were to have received a card is both rude and odd

Agreed. I don’t send them but if someone wants to send one to me I’m happy to receive it!

Minty82 Thu 30-Nov-17 11:02:26

That's so rude! Why on earth would they respond like that to a nice gesture?! Are people supposed to intuit that by "we're not sending cards this year" they actually meant "and we don't want any either"?

I love sending and receiving Christmas cards - it's the one time of year when proper post outnumbers the bills, and it feels like tangible contact with people beyond FB likes etc. We've moved a lot and have friends across the country and overseas whom we rarely see, and I love the Christmas card connection. And the ritual of it, sitting with a glass of something, listening to carols and writing them...reminds me, I need to get mine!

Nyx1 Thu 30-Nov-17 11:09:57

Minty "Are people supposed to intuit that by "we're not sending cards this year" they actually meant "and we don't want any either"?"

well, yes!! It would be rude to say "we're not sending them but please send us cards" wouldn't it?

dangermouse7 Thu 30-Nov-17 11:14:25

I always boak at the 'we are not sending Christmas cards, we are giving to charity bollux.' And I do wonder if they DO give to any charity at all......

I also struggle to fathom why people say about the 'environmental impact.' Most peoples cards are recycled every year, so that makes no sense. confused

Me personally, I send about 30, (that I make myself,) to close family, close friends, and neighbours. I buy a box of 20 for work. I don't care if someone sends them back to me or not (but tbh, everyone does, and I haven't yet experienced sending one to someone, who didn't send one back. When someone announces they are not 'doing' Christmas cards this year, I don't send one . I surmise that if they aren't sending them, they have no wish to receive one either...)

Ecureuil Thu 30-Nov-17 11:16:13

*Minty "Are people supposed to intuit that by "we're not sending cards this year" they actually meant "and we don't want any either"?"

well, yes!! It would be rude to say "we're not sending them but please send us cards" wouldn't it?*

There’s a difference between ‘we’re not sending them so don’t feel obliged to send us one’ and ‘we’re not sending them and will be offended if you send us one’

RunningOutOfCharge Thu 30-Nov-17 11:20:31

People still send cards??

In this day and age......what a waste

( as is most of xmas tbh, it just ends up in landfill)

bananafish81 Thu 30-Nov-17 11:21:01

I'd really really rather not get one

Especially the baby ones, as we are struggling with infertility and miscarriage and so the cards with babies on them are actively painful to us. We are very open about this to those who know us, so I wouldn't expect anyone not to send baby themed cards to F&F just in case the recipient will be upset by it

They just go straight into the recycling box and I feel guilty for not sending one obliged to send one back and then the spiral never ends

I am hugely grateful not to receive cards

But if you want to send them, send them. If it gives joy to the sender, even if it doesn't give joy to the recipient, then why not?

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