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To not want to send DD to nursery because her speech is delayed?

(99 Posts)
PatterPitter Wed 29-Nov-17 22:19:31

DD will be three just before Christmas and so is entitled to free hours at nursery from January. However, her speech is almost completely incomprehensible to anyone besides me and her siblings. Other people can only understand her saying Mummy, yes and no. She can't even say her siblings names. She talks loads at home and I understand 80% of it but it has to be in context so I can work it out.

I know a lot of people will say nursery will work wonders and she'll be speaking in no time but I talk to her all day, we read tons of books, she goes to three toddler groups each week and none of these things has made her speech easier to understand for outsiders. We were at soft play today and she was playing with her siblings and became really upset because a boy kept calling her a baby. He was probably younger than her but couldn't understand her saying that she wasn't a baby and that she's almost three.

She becomes frustrated and angry or cries if her siblings and I can't understand her, so I can't imagine how miserable she would be at nursery if no one could understand her. WIBU to wait until her speech has improved to send her to nursery?

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Wed 29-Nov-17 22:21:13

But going to nursery could boost her speech massively, as well as being a source of great fun.

I'd give it a shot and see how it goes. Don't write it off before she's set foot over the door.

Snap8TheCat Wed 29-Nov-17 22:21:46

Why is her speech incomprehensible? Is she having speech therapy?

DJBaggySmalls Wed 29-Nov-17 22:24:01

Ask the nursery if staff use Makaton and teach her that. Children that have verbal delay can often use signs. Makaton is used to support spoken English and wont delay her speech.

Bambamber Wed 29-Nov-17 22:24:15

Why Don't you try her at nursery and see how she gets on? It may well do her the world of good, but if it doesn't and she's doesn't get on, can you not pull her out? I think you won't know if it's a help or hindrance unless you try

DonkeyOaty Wed 29-Nov-17 22:24:34

What SaLT input does she get currently?

Sprinklestar Wed 29-Nov-17 22:25:43

Have you had her hearing checked? What other support does she have in place?

pontiouspilates Wed 29-Nov-17 22:25:56

Has she been referred to SLT? Most nursery's have a link SLT who will be able to assess her and set up a
Programme of SLT for home and nursery. I would be tempted to let he go. Most early years settings have speech delayed/disordered children and staff usually tune in pretty quickly - especially where substitutions are consistent.

IamEarthymama Wed 29-Nov-17 22:26:29

I understand completely how protective you are feeling but please give it a try.
My grandson was exactly like your daughter and would get really frustrated.
My daughter devised a set of pictures that the nursery had so they could explain to him what would be happening and so he could point to things.
By the next term he was talking more clearly and now, at 13, never shuts up, loves politics and discussions.

Talk to nursery about your concerns, they will listen and work out a plan with you

Herja Wed 29-Nov-17 22:27:25

Both of mine were speech delayed. My first born went from incomprehensible to anyone but me, to broadly understandable by most at the end of the year. He was disheartened at not being understood to begin with, but his key workers could understand more if what he said than his dad could after a month or so. DD started this September, she is much more socially confident than DS was and doesn't seem to give a toss if other people can understand what she says. She's very happy and plays with a lot of other children, again her key worker can understand her quite well. Her speech issues are different to her brothers and will take more work, but I'm hoping nursery will help her as much as it did him.

thegrinchreaper Wed 29-Nov-17 22:27:35

I had these worries with DS1 who was a late talker. He had some speech therapy but came on in his own time. Then with DD, same thing, but she needed to go into childcare while I worked. I spoke about my concerns with her key person who sad it was quite common, and sure enough DD progressed more rapidly than her brother did without any additional speech therapy.

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant Wed 29-Nov-17 22:27:49

At least, in the nursery she may get a referral for assessment and support if she needs speech therapy.

goose1964 Wed 29-Nov-17 22:29:10

You may find she starts talking soon anyway.DS 2 had a horrible all purpose noise until he was nearly 3 my hi, means DS1 were the only ones who could understand the nuances which meant different things. We were being referred for speech therapy when he walked up to me and said Mummy can I have drink, I was amazed he never babbled like other babies but he hardly shuts up now.

Wolfiefan Wed 29-Nov-17 22:29:43

What help is she getting?
Of course she shouldn't start nursery if you think it isn't the right setting.
But if she needs extra help and could possibly get it in a nursery setting then it's worth investigating.

hazeyjane Wed 29-Nov-17 22:31:06

I work in a preschool and we have quite a few children who have speech delay or speech sound problems, and children who have social communication difficulties. There are also children who have English as an additional language, and speak very little English. We support all these children, and some have support from Speech therapists who we work with alongside their parents. We use Makaton signing, alongside speech, which is really beneficial in minimising frustration and aiding communication. We use visual images to aid a child's communication and help them get their needs known.

My son who has additional needs including a speech disorder (he was completely non verbal until nearly 5) really benefitted from so many aspects of preschool, and despite his lack of speech they made every effort to understand his needs.

I think it obviously depends on the setting, but with a setting that works alongside outside professionals and parents, it can be great.

Herja Wed 29-Nov-17 22:33:06

Ime, the nursery has been quite good at pushing for further SaLT involvement too.

Ttbb Wed 29-Nov-17 22:33:32

My eldest was like this but it very suddenly resolved itself around the time he went to nursery. Going to nursery definitely sped up the process.

HonestTeacher Wed 29-Nov-17 22:33:34

Having other children around her to model how to speak can only be a good thing. It may be difficult at first, not being understood, but children at this age are usually very kind, understanding and patient and so it would be good for her socially. There are often many fantastic Nursery nurses/teachers who have been trained in speach and language who may be able to offer additional support/interventions that would help her in the long run.

Snap8TheCat Wed 29-Nov-17 22:35:20

What about a childminder? Smaller setting.

GottadoitGottadoit Wed 29-Nov-17 22:37:02

Am I the only one thinking that most 3 year olds speech is pretty much unintelligible to anyone other than their parents?

Maybe I'm misremembering.

cestlavielife Wed 29-Nov-17 22:37:06

She needs to be assessed by a speech therapist.

Nursery can refer.

A good nursery will use total communication approach pictures photos makaton . The routine and structure may help. She likely needs speech therapy

whirlygirly Wed 29-Nov-17 22:39:13

From experience, pre school will only help. It was great for ds who finally started talking aged about 4 and doesn't pause for breath now.

GottadoitGottadoit Wed 29-Nov-17 22:40:00

I've just reread and seen that she isn't even three yet. If she talks loads at home then surely she'll catch up at some point? It's the sort of thing that youlll look back on in 5 years time and marvel that it used to be such a worry.

SlartyFarkBarstard Wed 29-Nov-17 22:40:23

Nursery is a gateway to support for your daughter. Let her go, she’ll get the help she needs.

PatterPitter Wed 29-Nov-17 22:41:28

She's under SaLT but doesn't particularly engage with the sessions. Her hearing is fine. She doesn't understand that she isn't saying things in a way others can understand them; she gets angry with them for repeating the wrong thing or asking her to repeat herself. Her comprehension is advanced but her pronunciation is often nowhere near sounding the word it should. Everything starts with a 'd' or 'n' sound.

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