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Aibu to complain to the school- everyday sexism?

(73 Posts)
rosybell Wed 29-Nov-17 19:38:37

So DS just asked me if I can make cakes for the school Christmas fair- he said that the headteacher told them to ask their mummies if they like baking can they make cakes for the fair this weekend.

DS is 6 but he is pretty reliable and said she definitely just said 'mummies' not grown ups or parents. It's only a minor thing I know (..and yes I have plenty of more important things to worry about..) but this kind of everyday sexism really gets to me. Should I mention it to the school?

TabbyMumz Wed 29-Nov-17 21:39:43

Yes and they will all have a laugh at you in the staff room.. seriously though, yes, of course daddies can make cakes too but is it worth venting about such things?

thistimeweall Wed 29-Nov-17 21:40:40

Let them laugh hmm

RemainOptimistic Wed 29-Nov-17 21:41:16

It's everywhere OP, good luck with it but no one is going to give a flying fuck sad

thistimeweall Wed 29-Nov-17 21:41:23

And I am a teacher myself and have had to pull fellow teachers up on comments like "that class need a strong male."

Council Wed 29-Nov-17 21:43:04

As most of the world's most successful bakers are male, you could argue that she was being progressively equal minded.

MaisyPops Wed 29-Nov-17 21:44:46

Just leave it.
It's a passing comment. Get him to bake with his dad and send him in saying 'me and daddy baked these'. Probably far better challenge than calling up the school.

MancLife Wed 29-Nov-17 21:46:34

6 year olds are not a reliable source of information!

Splinterz Wed 29-Nov-17 21:48:32

Not starting to weed out male teachers now are we?


Thegirlinthefireplace Wed 29-Nov-17 21:50:38

If you think that's bad you should have seen my daughters mother days assemblynwhen she was in year one. They did a song all about thanking mum for all the cooking and cleaning and tidying their rooms etc and at the end headteacher made a point of repeating that sentiment again in his speech. My jaw was on the floor.

I didn't say anything at the time, but i think if it happened today I would. I give much less of amfuck now if the sneer at me in the staff room.

Babypythagorus Wed 29-Nov-17 21:50:58

I’d complain. And as a HT, I’d certainly not laugh at you if you came to me.

AlpacaLypse Wed 29-Nov-17 21:51:47

I'm with you OP. Everyday sexism is the single thing most pissing me off for the past couple of years.

donquixotedelamancha Wed 29-Nov-17 21:54:37

It's not an acceptable way to speak, though I think it's easy to slip into. I do challenge stuff like this when I hear it, but it would be stark staring mad to try to complain when you weren't present.

HermionesRightHook Wed 29-Nov-17 21:54:59

I don't care if people don't give a flying fuck about it: this is everyday sexism and it does need calling out. Every time.

And I do: my biggest bugbear is people saying that something was 'manned' instead of 'staffed' and I do call it out whenever I hear it.

MaisyPops Wed 29-Nov-17 21:55:20

I don't doubt it's annoying and dated. I just question how best to challenge it.

It's much better (in my eyes at least) for DC to bake with dad and take the cakes in talling about how much fun he had with dad than it is to call up and be that snooty person taking up valuable staff time to complain about a tiny thing

thistimeweall Wed 29-Nov-17 21:57:40

It isn't a tiny thing though, is it?

Nyx1 Wed 29-Nov-17 22:02:13

Id complain grin

Seriously they should not be talking this shite.

BertrandRussell Wed 29-Nov-17 22:03:03

Mention it in passing. Don't make a big deal out of it but don't let it pass either.

MustRememberTheLInFingerling Wed 29-Nov-17 22:03:35

While my initial reaction in don’t be daft, actually, yes you should pull them up over it!

It’s because we (generalising I know) let these “little things” go that casual sexism continues.

I wouldn’t go in guns blazing - our headteacher tries to be ‘present’ in the school playgrounds a few times to chat with parents etc and thus would be an ideal opportunity to mention it rather than make a formal complaint or book an appointment.

ButchyRestingFace Wed 29-Nov-17 22:04:37

I agree with you, OP.

Yes, some teachers may roll their eyes in staff room but so what? They shouldn’t be peddling stereotypical shite to small kids.

DJBaggySmalls Wed 29-Nov-17 22:05:03

Where does your DS go to school, the 1950's? grin
Yes I'm that parent and yes I'd say something.

MaisyPops Wed 29-Nov-17 22:05:14

In the context of teaching and running a school then yes.

If someone wanted to spend 15 mins of my time as part of their own personal campaign to enlighten me with their wisdom because of one comment (regardless of what i do to challenge gender issues in school, which obviously thry know nothing about) then I would consider them a sanctimonious preacher full of their own importance. That's 15 mins I could be spending helping children, marking work, doing extra curriculars etc and I'd be spending it listening to sone busybody

Now if a member of staff routinely promoted sexism then there's ways to raise it (quite understandably). But one comment? Nope. Very much pain in thr arse territory.

Hausfrauenvy Wed 29-Nov-17 22:07:47

If you hear it with your own ears, challenge it. Otherwise don't - what if your DS didnt hear correctly / misunderstood?

I agree wholeheartedly that its wrong, but its best not to challenge things that might not have happened.

BelleandBeast Wed 29-Nov-17 22:11:54

Of course challenge, its the everyday sexism that our children hear.

Boils my piss when people say, 'oh not worth venting.'

goose1964 Wed 29-Nov-17 22:13:15

What about children who live with other family members or in care , Rather than sexism it just seems poorly worded. If you want sexism in schs go back to when I was in secondary school late 70s early 80s . Girls did cookery boys woodwork, boys Di computer science - a new subject,girls shorthand and typing

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