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To think this isn't appropriate or very professional from school?

(181 Posts)
Peppapigshouse Wed 29-Nov-17 17:36:45

My child's church primary school has a special mass on an evening after school and they've asked children and parents to attend.

The school has now sent a text saying that children can wear their own clothes, but ha e stated "No tracksuits, short skirts or strappy tops".

It's not the tracksuits bit that bothers me, it's the bit about no short skirts or strappy tops.

Why not just ask for appropriate clothing for winter church? Why the need to specify about short skirts and strappy tops. These are primary school children and it just sounds like they are implying something.

I think it's really inappropriate and unprofessional coming from a school.

AlexanderHamilton Wed 29-Nov-17 17:38:08

They've probably said appropriate clothes in the past & had children turn up dressed inappropriately so have had to be more specific.

GladAllOver Wed 29-Nov-17 17:38:35

Perhaps some parents might not understand what's appropriate for winter church?

CherryChasingDotMuncher Wed 29-Nov-17 17:38:40

Surely they're referring to the parents?

But YANBU its very odd to come from a School and sounds like a dinosaur writes the newsletter/announcements.

Peppapigshouse Wed 29-Nov-17 17:42:38

If they can't trust parents to make decision about children's clothing then surely that's what school uniform is for.

It's strange that they've stated no short skirts or strappy tops, they haven't specified no shorts or tshirts for boys.

Why only girls that should be wearing clothing showing skin?

Seniorcitizen1 Wed 29-Nov-17 17:45:07

I have seen so many young children dressed inappropriately that it is clear to me that many parents can't be trusted to dress their child appropriately

Appuskidu Wed 29-Nov-17 17:47:16

I think it's really inappropriate and unprofessional coming from a school.

I don’t think it’s inappropriate or unprofessional!

gingergenius Wed 29-Nov-17 17:47:53

Primary goes up to y6 so a lot of the older kids can dress for a disco rather than a church service. You say 'own clothes' and some will treat it like a fashion show.

Peppapigshouse Wed 29-Nov-17 17:48:12

Right, so who decides what's appropriate? So the school have specified no short skirts and strappy tops, is it then ok for the boys to turn up in short and tshirts?

CherryChasingDotMuncher Wed 29-Nov-17 17:48:33

Surely they could have asked people to dress appropriately without the sexist undertones?

Dakiara Wed 29-Nov-17 17:49:21

Perhaps email and thank them for being concerned with the warmth of the children in the draughty old church and suggest that they add shorts and t shirts to the list.

Oh, and date it several times drawing attention to the year? Incase they miss the point. :D

gingergenius Wed 29-Nov-17 17:50:08

I presume the school are asking for children not to wear 'sexualised' clothing which is a whole can of worms conversation.

Fekko Wed 29-Nov-17 17:50:57

I can't imagine a little boy wanting to wear shorts and a vest to a chilly church but a little girl might want to wear a party dress - short skirt or a dress with spaghetti straps.

If you go visit some churches you will be asked to avoid shorts or short skirt and given something to pop over bare shoulders.

YellowMakesMeSmile Wed 29-Nov-17 17:51:07

It's likely that have asked for appropriate clothing before and that's what children have come in so they have to be more specific. Sone parents seem to have little idea of what's suitable and what isn't.

I'd read that as a parent and wonder who had sent their children in in such items.

gingergenius Wed 29-Nov-17 17:52:24

Yes good point about asking for shorts and t shirts to be banned. Would have been much better if they had taken the angle of weather appropriate wear rather than focused on gender specific garments. I'd politely email and suggest they look at their wording for future reference

LockedOutOfMN Wed 29-Nov-17 17:52:25

I don't see it as inappropriate. I would imagine the items listed are based on what students have turned up in before and then felt cold. I can see y7 girls at my school wanting to turn up to a winter event in short skirts but don't think (based on past experiences) that the boys would come in shorts.

Peppapigshouse Wed 29-Nov-17 17:53:10

Exactly cherrychasimg we all (I hope) realise it's not appropriate to turn up at church, in December dressed for a Summer disco.

But the text, imo, stinks of sexism, implying that girls will turn up scantily clad in revealing clothes.

Again if parents can't be trusted then they should have asked for school uniform.

Because going by their specific list I'm fine to send my son to church in shorts and a fluorescent tshirt.

CauliflowerSqueeze Wed 29-Nov-17 17:56:02

I bet my mortgage that none of the boys would turn up in tee shirts and shorts in winter. Whereas there will be girls who turn up in skimpy strappy tops etc. Do you think they would have put those directions on if there had never been a problem, just to antagonise people?

We had a girl turn up to an event last year with a tiny tight dress on, saying “you think I’m a bitch, you should meet my mum”

It’s perfectly professional and acceptable to give some directions as to appropriate clothing.

grasspigeons Wed 29-Nov-17 17:58:22

its a mass in a church.
the church decides what's appropriate.

For men and women that is normally covered up (long sleves, no shorts, skirt below the knee when kneeling or standing)

The letter could have reminded men of the norms of dressing for church too to be fair, but for some reason when men dress up smart they tend to put on trousers and a sleeved top, but women dressing up smart will put on strappy tops and short skirts - which are fine because it does look nice and smar, except during mass

CauliflowerSqueeze Wed 29-Nov-17 17:58:39

You’re really being ridiculous OP and looking for problems where there aren’t any.

Go to the service and count up the boys in tee shirts and shorts.

It also doesn’t say not to wear flippers or a gimp mask. Because it’s really obvious. It’s clearly not obvious that people should be dressed reasonably modestly in a church and so they are being explicit.

Peppapigshouse Wed 29-Nov-17 17:58:59

Thanks, considering this is coming from the school that doesn't allow girls to wear trousers I think the wording is terrible, I really do.

I really don't like the implication that this is a 'girl' problem.

Fekko Wed 29-Nov-17 18:00:13

I've found boys will wear any clothes they find lying on their floor whereas girls are more fashion conscious. It's a generalisation but that's my experience up to a certain age. Our leavers' dinner was pretty much that - boys looking like Dennis the menace while the girls looked beautiful (and so much older than 12/13) in lovely dresses and heels.

Sirzy Wed 29-Nov-17 18:00:39

Church dress etiquette is normally pretty much what is being requested in the text so I can’t see an issue with it at all.

FlowerPot1234 Wed 29-Nov-17 18:03:20

Why not just ask for appropriate clothing for winter church? Why the need to specify about short skirts and strappy tops. These are primary school children and it just sounds like they are implying something.

Yes, they're implying that there are some children who have no idea about appropriate dress (appropriate for a church, appropriate for their age, appropriate for the cold) and such cluelessness is shared by some parents.

I think it's really inappropriate and unprofessional coming from a school.
I think it's brilliant and highly appropriate and professional of your school to do this and avoid Daily Mail sadface '"my child was turned away from church service..." articles.

we all (I hope) realise it's not appropriate to turn up at church, in December dressed for a Summer disco.
There. It's that word hope. Your school doesn't wish to operate on blind hope, it wishes that all the children turn up appropriately dressed. Good for them.

But the text, imo, stinks of sexism, implying that girls will turn up scantily clad in revealing clothes.
There is no sexism in correctly predicting that some girls will turn up in completely inappropriate clothes.

Again if parents can't be trusted then they should have asked for school uniform.
Schools can't win, can they? They allow your children to wear their own clothes and be relaxed, parents complain. They have uniforms, parents complain. hmm

Because going by their specific list I'm fine to send my son to church in shorts and a fluorescent tshirt.
Are you that kind of parent who is going to do this then?

clary Wed 29-Nov-17 18:05:46

Maybe, as others say, they are leaking from experience.

I teach secondary and when we have a non uniform day we ask for appropriate clothing - and I always add a rider to my form - no very short shorts or cropped tops please! I am referring to girls actually, cos if I didn't tell them that's what sone would wear. Tho I wouldn't want boys in crop tops either. We are fine with longer shorts (for either sex) just not anything to embarrass teachers.

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