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ABU to ask how other couples have split equity in the house after divorce

(26 Posts)
Nads90u Tue 28-Nov-17 19:30:34

Posting mainly for traffic. ...unfortunately it looks like my marriage is close to breaking down sad
I recently had a free 30 minute appointment with a family solicitor as I wanted to know where me and my two ds (5 &7) would stand financially, should it come to this. I don't think either myself of OH could afford to take on the mortgage individually so we would probably have to sell and both downsize. I the asked the solicitor whether I would be likely to receive a larger share in the equity, due to me presumably being the resident parent. She was very vague with her response. I realise that it probably depends on individual circumstances and I am hoping to be in a position next month to have a longer, paid for appointment to discuss further. Until then I am interested to know what agreements others have reached / been granted during divorce settlements. I would be so grateful if any divorced mns would be so kind as to share the general outcome and a bit about the circumstances (ie how much equity was there, whether you were both working, how many children you have, whether you both put an equal amount into your home initially...).

HildasStockings Tue 28-Nov-17 20:36:57


I got more than 50% of the assets. More like a 65/35 split.

Reasons being that exH was a very high earner and could start again whereas i had given up my career to be a SAHM and had no mortgage earning capacity / much lower earning capacity etc.

It was fairly amicable. FMH was sold and I bought somewhere smaller and he saved then bought a bigger more expensive house than mine, but he has a hefty mortgage.

I know several women who have been in same position as myself and who got similar division of the assets.

Wishingandwaiting Tue 28-Nov-17 20:38:50

Also sahm here.
Also divorced to very high earner (£150k plus £60k bonus).

I received all equity in our property (£300k), but I don’t touch a penny of his pension (£290k).

cakeymccakington Tue 28-Nov-17 20:38:51

That's very interesting Hilda!

My ex wants to take me to court to get an agreement that he'll get a larger share of our house when we sell.
I'm glad to see it doesn't necessarily worklike that!

HildasStockings Tue 28-Nov-17 20:39:31

Oh - and should add I was primary carer to our two kids. They stay with me most of the time. EOW with Dad and one night a week on top,

GabriellaMontez Tue 28-Nov-17 20:41:16

Very similar to hilda

cakeymccakington Tue 28-Nov-17 20:42:09

Does anyone know if it works the same if you weren't married?

HildasStockings Tue 28-Nov-17 20:42:53

We agreed our settlement ourselves - we didn't go to court.

My BF (also high earner) has to give all the equity in the FMH to ex wife (SAHM, low earned) so she could buy a house outright for her and the kids. He kept his pension.

Division of the joint assets was roughly 60/40 to the ex wife. Perhaps slightly more.

BishBoshBashBop Tue 28-Nov-17 20:44:37

Does anyone know if it works the same if you weren't married?

No it doesnt.

HildasStockings Tue 28-Nov-17 20:44:43

I don't think the same protections exist if you weren't married. I think it would be 50/50 assuming it is a joint mortgage?

cakeymccakington Tue 28-Nov-17 20:45:26

Damn. Should have made him put a ring on me

cakeymccakington Tue 28-Nov-17 20:46:42

Yeah joint mortgage but he always paid the mortgage because I stayed home with the kids

Ellisandra Tue 28-Nov-17 20:51:14

cakey - no, if you're not married you don't have the legal protection that comes with marriage.

How the equity in your house is split comes down to how you own it (joint tenants or tenants in common) and what shares in it have already been specified. If you are not on the deeds or mortgage, you can try to argue that you have a beneficial interest in the property if you have contributed towards it (paying part of the mortgage, major repairs) but you really need a solicitor to advise on that.

Wishingandwaiting Tue 28-Nov-17 20:51:52

Exactly the same here Hilda.
May I ask whether you are required to return to work.

I would want to anyway, but I have agreed on the consent order to return to work by time youngest (currently 4.5) stars year 2. So in 18 months. Just curious how this compares.

Apparently the settlement is very generous. He will pay £2350 every month until youngest is 18.

I’m on paper it’s a decent amount but considering he has the children two life’s a month and takes home £7.5k (and obviously that will increase, he is in mid forties), it doesn’t seem entirely fair to me.

Having said that, we are very amiable indeed. I just hate talking about this with him!

christmaspudding1 Tue 28-Nov-17 20:53:05

60/40 my favour but i still lived in the house and paid mortgage/insurance myself and recieved no maintanance

sadly he died and the mortgage was paid of and i now own 100% mortgage free (his 40% went to me written in his will)

WasDoingFine Tue 28-Nov-17 20:57:15

Currently at the financial proposal stage.

I was told by my solicitor that the courts like a fair split nowadays. There is also no legal right to stay in the home just because you have children.

My children are 10 and 14yrs. I work PT
We both filled in Form E. Lucky we did as that meant l could see what his pension was worth compared to mine. I am hoping that he keeps his pension £300,000 and l keep the house £215,000 and my own pension

oldfatandtired1 Tue 28-Nov-17 21:04:25

I got 90% house equity (370k to his 40k) and half his substantial pensions in return for a clean break. 20+ year marriage, youngest child had just gone to Uni, he earned 4 x my salary. Enabled me to be mortgage free, a little money in the bank and a decent pension in retirement. Judge ruled he could get a mortgage, I couldn’t. He’s chosen not to buy though and rents an executive detached house at 2k per month. What he’ll do in retirement I dread to think but not my problem.

dunraven Tue 28-Nov-17 21:19:40

A close friend agreed a 80/20 split which worked out to 150/50K equity after sale of former marital home. Similar pension pots for both. She earned £25K, he earned £200K+. Monthly maintenance of £2K for DC(8)

dunraven Tue 28-Nov-17 21:23:05

Obvs 75/25 split

HildasStockings Wed 29-Nov-17 14:58:40

wishingandwaiting my children are older than yours and I went back to work part time, my choice, but my solicitor advised that unless there is a very good reason not to work (illness, special needs children etc) you are expected by courts to work and earn your own money at least part-time, even if you have previously been a SAHM.

My ex earns similar to yours and I get a similar amount per month though we do it slightly differently.

I got less equity than you (£200k) because he wanted to walk away with a deposit, but I got a share of the pension.

I think what we are getting is generous in the scale of things, although mine reduces in time as it is about 50/50 child maintenance and spousal. The spousal stops earlier. If you have managed to secure that level of maintenance until your youngest is 18 then I would say you have done well.

user1471472579 Sun 03-Dec-17 17:11:06

Just bumping in the hope of hearing about more people's experiences. Am going through a divorce myself and am currently worried sick about having to sell my house and whether I'll have enough equity to house myself and teenage dc.

VladmirsPoutine Sun 03-Dec-17 17:27:17

Does anyone know if such a huge split in assets can happen if one person owned the house prior to marriage? And person that owned property continued to pay mortgage etc whilst other partner made few contributions to repairs etc?
Are entire assets taken into account? e.g. if house owning partner also owned a few other flats?

Huppopapa Sun 03-Dec-17 17:39:36

The court will have to take into account this:

A lot of men who have yet to take advice think that s25(2)(f) will mean that they will walk away with more. Bad news fellas: once you are past about 10 years, no court is going to make any distinction between the contributions that each of you made, even if (and there is case law using these words) one of the parties made a 'stellar contribution'. If you were married under 3 years and have no children, expect to be put back roughly where you both were prior to the marriage, subject to the needs of the parties. Between 3 and 10 years you can expect somewhere between the two, subject to that same caveat - the needs of the parties.

All assets are taken into account but again, the shorter the marriage, the more likely an argument that some assets should be left out is to succeed, again subject to the interests of the parties.

BUT in all cases - even a 12 month marriage - children come first (see s25(1)). If there is inadequate money to provide for two homes big enough to accommodate them then the parent with care of them will get such an amount and may have to pay back a compensating amount when the youngest child is 18 (or other events, but usually it is only that.) This is called a Mesher order.

There is pressure on courts not to put all the assets of one class in the hands of one party, but where it is difficult to make it work otherwise, a transfer of real property to one and the retention by the other of a share portfolio or pension assets can happen.

WitchesHatRim Sun 03-Dec-17 17:50:52

@Wishingandwaiting I would say that is fair tbh. You will be receiving a third of his income.

Most judges would expect you to work in some capacity ime.

JaceLancs Sun 03-Dec-17 18:19:34

I got 50% equity and had to buy his share out
No spousal maintenance and no share of his pension - although to be fair we were early 30s and did not have much pension pot anyway
He paid bare minimum maintenance for DC consistently lied about his income and at one point decided to give up working and become a full time student to avoid paying anything at all
Years later he is still far better off than me - I have a big mortgage and have only managed to work my way up in career in last 5 years or so
DC are now adults and financially independent - they are happy and so am I we are all very close
Ex DH has a string of failed relationships and a strained one with DC - it’s not just about money.........

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