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AIBU?

About babies name?

125 replies

Linzerelli13 · 28/11/2017 18:59

Currently 39+6 with baby #2.
We already have a DD (3). Before we found out she was a girl we wrote a list of names for both boys and girls that we liked and narrowed it down to two for each. When we had it confirmed she was a girl we both picked the same name as our favourite.
When we found out that this baby was a boy, I assumed that we would use one of the top 2 boy names we had picked out for DD. DP has changed his preference though, and one of the names has been used by a family member. Fair enough, I thought, so we set about coming up with new names.
We've really struggled to agree this time around. He really wanted Arthur for a while, which I really don't like. (I mean no offence to anyone who has an Arthur, it's just not for me and and I don't feel that it goes with DD's fairly modern name)
We eventually agreed on Connor for all of 3 weeks and then HE Changed his mind again and we eventually settled on Jackson. We mutually agreed that we like it as there are plenty of nicknames and variations, it goes well with his last name and with DD's name.
I've now purchased personalised blankets, hat's, taggies etc as he was 100% that that's what he was called. DD has been calling my bump Jackson for about 6 weeks now too.
Just tonight, baring in mind its my bloody due date tomorrow, He's gone out for a drink with his brother, and come back DEMANDING that we call the baby Arthur.
He says that Jackson is a stupid name and too American and he wants to call the baby something traditional. Baring in mind he bloody chose it and promised me that he was 100% sure on it.
Now I know that this is his brothers influence. I don't particularly like him, He's an arrogant nobhead who has made remarks in the past that has made me not like him. When I was pregnant with DD, he told DP that 'you want to het rid of it. Variety is the spice of life and you dont want to be tied down to just one woman. Having a baby is a big mistake'. 2 months later his gf was pregnant. He also took the p*ss out of DD's name.
Anyway, when DP has come home after the 6 pints his brother has fed him, He's now adamant that Jackson is a stupid name and he wont be calling our son it. He doesn't even want baby to have his last name if it can't be Arthur.
AIBU? Or is he? And do you agree that his brother is a tw@t? Sorry for the rambling post.

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stiffstink · 28/11/2017 19:02

Call the baby Jackson Yourname like he's suggested.

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Ropsleybunny · 28/11/2017 19:02

You both have to agree. He cannot demand you call your DS Arthur, it's not just up to him.

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Sirzy · 28/11/2017 19:03

He is drunk just ignore.

I do find the whole being so set on a name before the baby is born thing odd. Wait until he is here and then decide.

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QueenAmongstMen · 28/11/2017 19:03

Is your DP drunk? Or well on that way to being?

Put his ramblings down to the alcohol's influence and then talk about it tomorrow when he's back to his normal sober self.

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Ecureuil · 28/11/2017 19:06

Yes, call the baby Jackson followed by your surname.
Personalised blankets/hats/taggies before the baby is born though? I thought that was the sort of thing people bought you as gifts, not that you bought yourself!

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Ecureuil · 28/11/2017 19:06

Ps he’s being a twat.

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Mumof56 · 28/11/2017 19:07

DP has come home after the 6 pints his brother has fed him

Hmm

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Quartz2208 · 28/11/2017 19:08

he is drunk so ignore

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Linzerelli13 · 28/11/2017 19:12

Bought the personalised stuff as Xmas gifts for baby. DD has similar that we got her when she was born.
He's not drunk, tipsy maybe. I'm hoping it passes but my god is he annoying. He was only out for an you! Hope I don't to into labour tonight Hmm

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PinkyBlunder · 28/11/2017 19:12

What if he doesn’t look like a Jackson or an Arthur when he’s born?

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VeganIan · 28/11/2017 19:13

Tell your DP he can have Arthur but you'll be using your surname.

If you're not married, he can't register the baby without you. Tell him that perhaps he should remember that before you come with Archibald Maurice Tarquin Yourname (or whatever would annoy him most).

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NapQueen · 28/11/2017 19:14

Buying personalised stuff before the birth is bonkers.

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cakeymccakington · 28/11/2017 19:14

I think after 6 pints he's more than just tipsy.

Ignore it

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Calvinlookingforhobbs · 28/11/2017 19:18

In principle call the baby something you agree on. Jackson is very American so on a personal level, I prefer Arthur but that is not your question! I think you should ignore all name chat and concentrate on being zen to bring on labour. Plenty of time to see what man suits your baby then!

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Tiredmum100 · 28/11/2017 19:19

Sleep on it and chat about it tomorrow, or call him the name you want and give him your surname if he's that adamant. He's probably just a bit on a high after chatting to his brother and having had a few drinks.

Myself and oh luckily both liked the chosen name for our son, however I gave him two more names I wanted as middle names which oh didn't really want. But to be honest I'd had a terrible pregnancy, regular growth scans and pushed a nearly 10 lb baby out, so I got final say there sorry. The 9 months of the most horrendous heart burn earnt me that in it's self!

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PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 28/11/2017 19:21

Can’t really comment as I find it odd when people name the baby before he or she is here. What if the baby doesn’t look like a Jackson kind of baby?

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Crunchymum · 28/11/2017 19:21

He went out for 6 pints the evening before your due date?

Shock

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PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 28/11/2017 19:22

And agreed - 6 pints would be more than tipsy? I know DP would be pretty mullered after that amount

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C0untDucku1a · 28/11/2017 19:22

Go back to connor as the compromise?

And I certainly would not be giving the baby his surname.

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BenLui · 28/11/2017 19:22

He had 6 pints the night before your due date?

Confused

He can’t demand anything. You don’t have to decide today. Take your time and discuss it when he’s not being an arse.

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TheDowagerCuntess · 28/11/2017 19:23

What if he doesn’t look like a Jackson or an Arthur when he’s born?

😄 That doesn't work for people who have agreed, and are set, on a name.

Both our DCs' names were decided long before they were born, and when they were born, they looked like babies, so were given the names we'd decided on.

OP - don't know what to say, really. Your baby's name is the least of the issue here, TBH.

Just stick with Jackson, and give it your surname. Done deal.

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MakeMisogynyAHateCrime · 28/11/2017 19:25

Don't marry this man OP, him and his brother sound a right pair of twonks.

I'm not into naming a baby before it is born but if that's your thing and you've got this far along with you DD knowing the name tooz Then tell him it's too bloody late and you're going to carry on using the name you mutually decided without the input of his drunk brother.

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Linzerelli13 · 28/11/2017 19:26

I know that some people like to meet the baby before they name them but i like knowing. Found its helped with bonding and it's not been an easy pregnancy so naming him made him feel more real if that makes sense?
I was a little bit miffed to say the least but that's standard behaviour when his brother is around.
He's gone to bed now saying he's got a headache! I'm not surprised...

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SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 28/11/2017 19:27

Can you use Arthur as a middle name? Jackson Arthur sounds quite nice!

Other than that, I would say;

a) Neither parent gets to "demand" a name is used.
b) Buying personalised items before the baby arrives is risky. Apart from anything else, I know someone who recently thought they were expecting a Rebecca and ended up with a Thomas Grin. Luckily they hadn't bought too many dresses and personalised items!

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jarhead123 · 28/11/2017 19:28

Jackson IS a very american name though. And I love Arthur!

This is the danger of having things named before the baby is born. I think you need to compromise

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