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Work unprofessionalism

(27 Posts)
Humptyhump1 Tue 28-Nov-17 18:12:34

So angry and upset!

Started a job about 4 months ago, not going that well.

So the probation period was extended. After thought I decided the job was not for me.

So I handed my notice in too my manager, she asked that I say nothing to the team. I agreed. She also asked me to reconsider my decision, I said I would think and come back tomorrow.

Within less than 24 hours, I've been told by two people that they know

A my probation was extended
B I'm leaving

I'm furious that personal information has been past around the office and their is only one source.

Tbh I always had my suspicions that she was indiscreet.

AIBU to be angry, should I raise this and who with? The manager, her manager or HR.

It's a horrible feeling being the talk of the office.

confused

Stressalot42 Tue 28-Nov-17 18:26:15

Sorry to bump so soon but need opinions before tomorrow!

Dozer Tue 28-Nov-17 18:27:16

They clearly decided to accept your resignation.

DailyMailReadersAreThick Tue 28-Nov-17 18:28:21

Ugh, how annoying.

I understand your anger but I think you need to ask yourself what you want to gain from this. You're leaving, and you presumably need a reference. Is it worth the hassle of a complaint?

Stressalot42 Tue 28-Nov-17 18:28:35

That's fine, no issue.

But should a manger be telling a junior member of staff? It's not like they were telling the team or HR etc

And to that detail?

Stressalot42 Tue 28-Nov-17 18:29:04

Yes that makes sense Daily!

Dozer Tue 28-Nov-17 18:29:45

Unless you’d changed your mind and wanted to stay, not a lot of point in complaining, although it was not good management practice for the manager to tell colleagues your probation had been extended, presumably due to performance concerns.

Someone resigning isn’t “private information”, however.

mumonashoestring Tue 28-Nov-17 18:29:47

Well, I guess that helps you make your mind up about whether you want to carry on working for her... I would definitely say something to HR and/or your manager's manager before leaving though. Keep it short and factual and do it in writing.

Stressalot42 Tue 28-Nov-17 18:31:49

Not private information Dozer but asked me not to tell anyone on the team? Why do that?

Everything was done with "I'm not supposed to tell" it went through four people before I found out.

Dozer Tue 28-Nov-17 18:35:30

It was bad management, certainly, but not much point in complaining.

qazxc Tue 28-Nov-17 18:37:10

If you're leaving, I wouldn't bother. It might impact on how she responds to future prospective employers.
If you're staying, I'd complain.

ForalltheSaints Tue 28-Nov-17 19:22:01

Mention it to your manager. Imagine if a colleague has a health issue or something difficult at home, and word got out.

retirednow Tue 28-Nov-17 20:53:49

The manager has been unprofessional, she probably wanted to be seen to be in control of the situation. I don't see why anyone else needed to know that your probation period was extended, it's just office politics and unfortunately is very common. You won't be the only person this "manager" has gossiped about. You could ask her why she told other people, she won't have a good answer but to be honest I would just be thankful that you are leaving.

retirednow Tue 28-Nov-17 21:26:26

When she asks you if you have come to a decision, just say that you've been told by other staff that you are leaving.

selly24 Tue 28-Nov-17 22:12:37

Awesome response from retirednow above.
Say it, Say it.!
wink

Justoneme Tue 28-Nov-17 22:17:34

Erh ... make a complaint... shocking..

IslingtonLou Tue 28-Nov-17 22:17:55

She sounds inept and inexperienced, good management are able to keep confidential employee issues quiet and not use them as gossip or a rant. (Or at least discuss with colleagues who would keep it confidential ffs like other managers!) be happy you’re leaving and keep it as cheery as possible, think of your reference for your next jobsmile

coddiwomple Tue 28-Nov-17 22:26:57

I am sorry, but if you are saying that it's not going "that well", isn't it possible the manager told the staff you were leaving in response to a complaint against your work?

It's a good way to stop the moan and the bad atmosphere.

retirednow Tue 28-Nov-17 22:40:49

PP. They haven't resigned yet, the manager should not have told staff they were leaving, its no one else's business..

retirednow Wed 29-Nov-17 18:00:32

How did it go today? Please let us know what you've decided to do.

MayCatt Wed 29-Nov-17 18:16:49

I think your manager did that so they could choose the reasons people think you're leaving. By 'leaking' that your probation was extended and that you're leaving, means people will link the two. If you'd started telling people first then you could have said it's because of the manager and highlight other failings. It's self-protection from them. Someone I worked with used to do just this kind of thing all the time. Sorry OP flowers you're better off out of it.

retirednow Wed 29-Nov-17 18:18:49

PP, my manager was like that too, drip, drip, drip negative information to people who didn't need to know.

Humptyhump1 Thu 30-Nov-17 09:37:28

Hi

Thanks for your messages. To answer them

PP who wondered if my performance was bringing down the team? At my review all my team had fantastically positive things to say.
With the exception of one person who obviously had an effect.

The manager tells her two junior and very junior colleagues everything about the rest of the team. I know others have been on performance reviews etc. She holds no confidences, so I'm not being singled out by any means. Still annoying though.

Given that this was all being gossiped about, I was unhappy and told the manger so. It was then agreed I would just give one weeks notice, I have holiday to cover that.

Left amicably, the manager was clearly concerned that id rock the boat. So was glad I was gone I'm sure.she was I believe a truly awful manager. I could see the need to offload but not to junior team members.

On a positive note, I had a good interview yesterday, a second interview tomorrow.

Lots of interviews for next week.

Humptyhump1 Thu 30-Nov-17 09:39:44

I think your manager did that so they could choose the reasons people think you're leaving. By 'leaking' that your probation was extended and that you're leaving, means people will link the two. If you'd started telling people first then you could have said it's because of the manager and highlight other failings. It's self-protection from them. Someone I worked with used to do just this kind of thing all the time. Sorry OP * you're better off out of it.*

This is so true!

Humptyhump1 Thu 30-Nov-17 10:23:53

PP, my manager was like that too, drip, drip, drip negative information to people who didn't need to know.

This is also true!

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