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To think I'm cool with being a cool wife

(377 Posts)
zeezeek Mon 27-Nov-17 19:37:33

I’ve been married for over 25 years now and have always had a good relationship with my husband. We don’t live in each other’s pockets and are apart a lot. I was talking to a female friend earlier today about how DH went hiking with some women he knows from the PTA and ended up getting trashed and staying over at one of their houses. She didn’t understand why that didn’t bother me and accused me of being a cool wife and giving other women a bad name.

As it was the woman’s husband was there as well, but even if now, it wouldn’t have bothered me. He’s a grown man and not my possession - as I’m not his. We respect each other and give each other leeway to be independent and live our own lives.

I don’t make a fuss if he’s looking at other women and he doesn’t make a fuss if I’m looking at other men.

Neither of us are bothered by the other spending time with friends of the opposite sex.

While I hate the porn industry as an industry I can’t get bothered by my husband watching it.

So, if that makes me a cool wife, then I’m cool with it.

Hmmalittlefishy Mon 27-Nov-17 19:38:41


formerbabe Mon 27-Nov-17 19:39:19

Good for you hmm

KindergartenKop Mon 27-Nov-17 19:39:19

Great. Good for you.

brasty Mon 27-Nov-17 19:39:31

So you are so "cool" you decided to boast about it here?

MyBrilliantDisguise Mon 27-Nov-17 19:39:37

Hang on, her husband was there? Why would anyone be bothered by that?

KindergartenKop Mon 27-Nov-17 19:39:38

Hahahaha. Cross post!

JesusTapdancingChrist Mon 27-Nov-17 19:39:40

That's nice, dear.

Ttbb Mon 27-Nov-17 19:39:43

You both sound a bit bonkers.

OhFucko Mon 27-Nov-17 19:41:00

Wow, I wish I was like you. You're not like other women.

Thanks for coming to tell us.

overnightangel Mon 27-Nov-17 19:41:06

Well aren’t you just swell.
Give yourself a self congratulatory pat on the back
Oh. You already have.
Bully for you

Smeaton Mon 27-Nov-17 19:41:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FizzyGreenWater Mon 27-Nov-17 19:41:15

Hiking last weekend?

It was bloody freezing.

You may be cool, but I bet he was several degrees cooler.

PaintingByNumbers Mon 27-Nov-17 19:41:16

I'm not sure thats what a cool wife is? Just sounds like an open marriage?

FizzyGreenWater Mon 27-Nov-17 19:41:59

Woah this thread is where the cool people hang out.


marvincocker Mon 27-Nov-17 19:42:03

If you were truly a cool wife then you wouldn't feel the need to analyse it and you certainly wouldn't post a thread like this.

It seems like you want validation / applause which suggests that you're not actually 100% happy with it after all.

ILoveMillhousesDad Mon 27-Nov-17 19:42:12

I'm very happy for you. Here's your prize ⭐

GreenPurpleRed Mon 27-Nov-17 19:42:17

No that doesn't make you cool.

But ah, thanks for sharing confused

Bluntness100 Mon 27-Nov-17 19:42:51

God I hate that expression “cool wife”.

It means one of two things. Not giving a shit. Or pretending you don’t.

Who cares, everyone’s marriage is different. Some are open, some are swingers, some are mutually overly possessive in matching tracksuits, some are at loggerheads, some all loveydovey.

Whatever works for you.

PortiaCastis Mon 27-Nov-17 19:43:28

Icicles ❄❄❄❄❄❄

Postagestamppat Mon 27-Nov-17 19:44:55

I get it. The OP has been put on the defensive by her friend. The way I see it is that she trust's her husband but has been made to feel bad about it. Each relationship is different and each will have a different trust level.

TheFairyCaravan Mon 27-Nov-17 19:45:17

Wow! How marvellous you are 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

FizzyGreenWater Mon 27-Nov-17 19:45:54

I think it's only really cool wife if you don't talk about it.

Going 'aaah I am sooo cool' spoils the cool.

Then it's a case of DANG IT he might as WELL have slept with the PTA hike team FUCK ITTT!!!!

which is not cool

FizzyGreenWater Mon 27-Nov-17 19:47:07

The other angle of course is grim.

A husband who wants to go hiking with the PTA?


SporocystianLifeform Mon 27-Nov-17 19:47:57

You say cool wife, i say doormat

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