Regarding amount of time spent 'playing' with DD(53 Posts)
So my sister and I were talking today about how much time we actually spend on the floor playing with the dc.
When you're at home what % of time do you spend actually down on the floor playing a game or activity?
Without doing a chore or on phone or anything else....
At the moment, hardly any, I’m pregnant in my first trimester and tend to sit very still feeling sick while my DS trashes the room
Depends on how old. Ds is 6 and we do a fair amount. Though it's like bored games, art etc. Or console playing 😂
Much harder when they are smaller!
That depends totally on the child's age and whether they have siblings they happily play with surely. I certainly played with dc1 the most - dc1 wanted to play with dc2 as soon as he was capable of it and he adored her, so I played with him far less as a baby/ toddler.
I do fuck all, to be honest, I'm really no good at it.
I will do some art it's him, read with him, but actual playing... barely any.
My DH does quite a lot. In his schedule, it's maybe thirty to forty minutes in school days, a couple hours at weekends.
When kids are older I only play board / table top games with them, or the occasional sword fight It's more doing things with them than playing with them, even though the younger two still play with their friends and one another.
My D.C. are Brien up now but I remember finding floor play really dull. I dealt with it by seeing it as an essential 'chore' I'd give them say half an hour of my full attention where I wholeheartedly played whatever it is they wanted to but then I would leave them to it the rest of the time. I'd obviously interface with them and 'play' with them I just wouldn't do test mind numbing lay boring floor play. Iyswim
I think the thing to avoid is half hearted floor play when you aren't actually committed and are sneakily playing in your phone or whatever.
I found doing crafts or board games or similar much more fun.
Yes age is a factor for sure, I have a 2 year old and am 8 months pregnant, she has a 5 year old.
So neither has siblings at the moment.
If you're 8 months pregnant the sofa is the new floor
I hardly ever did, it's not my thing. Did kits of stuff baking craft etc but not tea parties and dollies.
It's not a bad thing imo - teaches them to be self sufficient!
I must say I have to just perch on the edge of he sofa now while downing gaviscon 😂
My dd is 3, we play adventures on the walk to school together and will run from imaginary pirates etc. At home we play board games mainly but I will also be a patient at her doctors, be force fed plastic food at her cafe and play a bit of play Mobil this happens mainly in the evening after work but her grandma will play all afternoon with her each day after nursery. So % wise probably about 25 at home and 50 at grandma's
Playing with dc1 wasn't so much floor play- she was always in a fantasy world and wanted me to play along. Tbh most of it could be done with voices . She's never really been alone as I child minded from when she was 10 months until very close to when dc2 was born, so most of the time that she was tiny she has company on the floor My oldest mindee was very clever and sociable and they moved on from parallel play to playing together earlier than typical, so often I was facilitating play rather than playing.
The last couple of months of my second pregnancy and when dc2 was too small to play with I kind of had to play with dc1 - but did hone a way of doing it mainly by talking She'd tell me who I was and I'd be that character with full attention, but from the sofa
As soon as dc2 could crawl she informed him he was her dog and they played together
An only (even temporary only about to be dc1) is a lot of work if they're irrepressibly sociable and obsessed with role play. If dc2 had been dc1 he'd have played alone on the floor for hours and might have needed me to push toy cars about. I think I had luck having 1 and 2 that way around! Dc1 elevated dc2's pushing cars around to some complicated level of small world play that took over the entire living room with brio and hotwheels and Playmobil and roads and buildings made of books I was never required to join in, but they enjoyed an audience and interested questions about their world.
My DS would not let me play toys or games with him. He had massive tantrums if I tried to once he hit about 18 months until he was 5. He would play games with every one else but not me. We baked, arts and crafts, stories and all that but playing on the floor with his toys, I wasn’t allowed to. Now that he has siblings and is at school he’s more open to playing games and toys with me. DD1 is the opposite. She’ll be three in January and we play on the floor loads. We play with cars dolls puzzles imagination games. It’s brilliant compared to my ds. DD2 is 16 months and if she’s in the mood we’ll play but more often than not she’d rather play with her daddy or siblings. I’d say I play about 20% of their playtime with them but not as much as I’d like. I’m hoping Xmas Will involve more floor play with new toys and games. I can dream 🤣
Theblue 20% is more than enough surely? From a child development point of view the child should be allowed to play alone and with other children and needs to. The type of play children and adults do together is different and they don't learn the same skills they do without an adult.
Obviously preschoolers benefit from playing with an adult sometimes, but it can be overdone especially if the child would rather the adult let them be!
Children who play 1:1 with an adult and rarely with peers or alone often struggle to play with peers or alone at all, because adults tend to go to far to the extreme of letting the child dictate everything/ "win" all the time or the opposite extreme of being over directive. It's virtually impossible for a parent or other main care giver to play with a preschooler as an equal because the child knows unconsciously that there is a power imbalance and at the end of the day this person gets to tell them it's bedtime/ that they aren't allowed to go out in the snow in just their pants ...
Hardly ever - I'm good at reading with them and taking them places where they can play (toddler group, farm etc), and now they are older they play together (a year apart in age). I half joke that I had a second dc so that I didn't have to get involved with imaginary play. DH much better at playing with them.
I spent very little time on the floor playing at their level. Reading, activities, days out, even the odd board game etc I'm great with, but playing dollies or cars or whatever...no. I found it mind numbing and really difficult. I have no guilt over this either...I'm a loving mum who has thoroughly enjoyed my three children...I'm just not a play mum.
Do lots of other things though.
I literally did not think anyone could find issue with a parent who "plays too much" with their child!!
My 4 year old won't play much by himself at home. He does at preschool (and with friends), he does at other people's houses (and with friends) but he won't at home. I spend a lot of time playing with him but I wish it was slightly less!
I play with my DS (3), for about an hour a day at weekends, we tend to go outdoors after he’s been at Nursery.
I look back to my childhood and my parents literally never played with me (honestly never). I had siblings though.
I think we put too much pressure on ourselves these days. I remember days of just being outside as a kid from sunrise to sunset (returning for lunch).
It’s good to teach kids to be imaginative through boredom and self play.
These are the things I tell myself to feel less guilty!
What do you do when they're old enough to want to be into everything but not mobile yet? (or is it just my non-crawler almost-walker who has this problem...)
I have been doing many hours of floor play per day for about the last 6 months. Much of it is nothing particularly imaginative. Currently stuff like holding his hand while he gets from one bit of furniture to the next, doing laps of the hallway steering his block trolley (it's too small and light, so doing this to avoid him falling into it and smacking his face on it) or sitting close offering him things and reading books to him while he "sorts the washing" (standing at the sofa chucking it onto the floor).
I can play musical instruments and he will play by himself; other chores I generally take him with me or do them while he's asleep; the only problematic one is if i'm doing cooking he will play with fridge magnets for a bit but it deteriorates to him being bored pretty quickly. Chucking himself on the floor rolling around flailing and wailing gets him under my feet and too close to the stove, so at that point I generally stick him in front of an episode of Playschool and feel guilty about screen time.
This might be why DH does most of the cooking
I have four and the older three play together mostly as they find each other more fun. I play with the baby on the floor for around an hour or two a day. The older ones I do craft or baking with or a boatf game but not playing floor anymore really they are 3 5 and 7.
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