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To worry about the future sustainability of Santa?

(49 Posts)
1DAD2KIDS Sun 26-Nov-17 20:20:38

I'm not sure if I'm the only one who fears for the future of Santa's operation. It just seems to me that it must be getting harder for him. I mean he isn't getting any younger. The price of raindeer food rocketing. The global population is spiralling upwards. Anti discrimination laws adding the cost of making all his work facilities acessable to people above heights of 3ft. Improved home security systems. It just seems more and more things are weighted against him?

Also I do wonder if there is anything that could be done to help? Maybe an online ordering system rather than him having to visit all the world's shopping centres and gardening centres to take the orders and waste time with small talk with the little people? Or maybe outsource some of the delivery to private firms. Hermes is reasonable would could they be trusted to do the job? And maybe he could take advantage of some of the new emerging low pay labour makets like Vietnam and outsource production? Although I do recognise he may come to blows with the Unions which in its self will cause operational problems for a bit. Especially if the elves and raindeer unions unite in solidarity over the outsourcing of services.

HolyShmoly Sun 26-Nov-17 20:26:33

Hermes are shite. And anyways, the clue's in the title, he:

Sees the obstacles
Aspires to even greater things

HolyShmoly Sun 26-Nov-17 20:27:08

And yep, I struggled on that N.

C0untDucku1a Sun 26-Nov-17 20:28:18


1DAD2KIDS Sun 26-Nov-17 20:30:28

No disrespect Holy but he is old. Not sure how old exacty (100s at least). My mums in her 70s and would not move across to a smart phone, only just started texting. How good do you think he'll be at adapting and innovating?

HolyShmoly Sun 26-Nov-17 20:30:31

Dammit, negotiates would have been good, especially for the elves' collective bargaining power.

HolyShmoly Sun 26-Nov-17 20:32:48

Do you think he hasn't had to adapt or innovate over the last few hundred years? Don't be fooled, underestimating Santa is never a smart move.

Ethylred Sun 26-Nov-17 20:34:28

Plus his energy consumption in visiting all the world's children within 24 hours is shocking. Just shocking.

StealthPolarBear Sun 26-Nov-17 20:36:06

I blame brexit sad

1DAD2KIDS Sun 26-Nov-17 20:37:57

I know holy, but he ain't as young as he was say 200 years ago. People get stuck in their ways. I hope your right but I do worry.

You know the elves probably have one of the only unions in production that have teeth. Also i heard the elves are very vicious when it comes to dealing with scabs. Plus the North Pole is a long way to ship in strike breakers from outside.

CannotEvenThink Sun 26-Nov-17 20:41:00

Notsooriginalwerther Sun 26-Nov-17 20:41:18

1DAD2KIDS you’ve not even touched on the subject of his now very rocky relationship with Mrs Claus.

SylviaTietjens Sun 26-Nov-17 20:42:18

Brexit will definitely hold him up with all the new immigration check points. Poor Santa.

Hidingalion Sun 26-Nov-17 20:43:09

He's going to fall foul of the new data protection regulations next year, too. He won't be able to compile a list of personal information tagged with naughty or nice, however many times he checks it.

SylviaTietjens Sun 26-Nov-17 20:43:33

Also global warming meaning that the actual North Pole could become suitable hunting grounds for polar bears. Not sure what protective measures Santa has in place for both reindeer and elves.

Notsooriginalwerther Sun 26-Nov-17 20:44:41

It’s a Christmas miracle that Trumps wall hasn’t been erected yet - I can only imagine the time wasting that would cause trying to get through security on the way back into America. I fear if he tried to fly over there would be a lot of snipers.

Bluetrews25 Sun 26-Nov-17 20:45:44

Yes, I think we should develop some responsibility and help the old bloke out, and actually sort the gifts for our own children. He might have enough cash left at the end of the month to retire, then, and not have to carry on until he drops. Perhaps we could pretend it's still him doing it, though?

Notsooriginalwerther Sun 26-Nov-17 20:47:27

Bluetrews25 maybe we could start a go fund me page to tide him over this year then pick up the slack next year?

1DAD2KIDS Sun 26-Nov-17 20:51:04

Notsooriginalwerther I did hear last year there was a fall out because he had to pop out for 4 hrs to deliver some gifts he'd forgotten apparently but came back smelling of cheap perfume.

Hidingalion is he even able to label or discriminate against kids based on if they have been naughty or nice anymore? It's bad for their self esteem don't you know. I thought every kid had to be a winner these days. That no doubt would also have an effect of production demand.

SylviaTietjens that's at least the cost of getting in an outside company to risk assess the changing polabear risk. And probably a hefty cost to implement their recommendations. Worth it though, claims direct get everywhere these days.

1DAD2KIDS Sun 26-Nov-17 20:53:20

Bluetrews25 I head after the latest pension review his pension is no longer final salary and he can't receive it know till he's 20,000 years old. Is he capable of retiering

Fekko Sun 26-Nov-17 20:54:20

But santa is magic. You silly silly people...

1DAD2KIDS Sun 26-Nov-17 20:57:02

Fekko are you sure your not mistaking him for Chuck Noris?

StealthPolarBear Sun 26-Nov-17 20:59:08

Apparently he's cutting back on reindeer and expecting those who are left to do more with less. But there are rumours that in a few years he'll have a self-drive sleigh anyway sad I think they just need to develop the technology to handle roof starts

juddyrockingcloggs Sun 26-Nov-17 21:01:41

If you've not read A Boy Called Christmas then you wouldn't know that Father Christmas doesn't age! He got older until he found his 'purpose'! His purpose was making human children happy and when he found his purpose he stopped ageing!

Yes, my son and me are very invested in the Matt Haig Christmas books!

Notsooriginalwerther Sun 26-Nov-17 21:01:44

I also heard that gossip about coming home with the lingering smell of cheap perfume! (cherubs on the tree have nothing better to do than bitch and moan so I hear all the goss)

I’m pretty sure that Santa took out insurance on the workshop a few years back with Legal&General I’m pretty sure they rinsed him in the process (what with ice being the foundation not structurally sound esp with global warming)

He’s having a hard time, heating bill is through the roof and I’m certain red velvet suits don’t come cheap. Poor guy.

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