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To think gender alters the perception of what is said on MN?

(508 Posts)
1DAD2KIDS Sun 26-Nov-17 11:00:37

I use a username that clearly identifies my gender (and is also my biological sex). Often I feel that if people assumed I was a woman their response would be different. Or if you swapped the genders around some people's responses would be completely different?

Angelalley Sun 26-Nov-17 11:01:44

your clever
i can't see how people are dressed on mn,

AnneLovesGilbert Sun 26-Nov-17 11:02:49

Absolutely NBU. The double standards on here can be staggering.

munkynutts Sun 26-Nov-17 11:03:36

Ive read a lot of money based threads around lately where a lot of women are taking the "it works for us, we see it as our shared money" line when then all of a sudden if the woman is the main earner costs and fairness get much more closely examined. Which is fair enough if there are kids involved, but when no kids, maybe not.

SongforSal Sun 26-Nov-17 11:04:34

Happens in real life to. I wear a security tag at work with picture I'd. A colleuge told me I looked 'regal' in my picture. When I mentioned it to Dp, he wanted to know if it was a male or female that said it as the meaning would be different. I was a bit wtf. And no, didn't tell him as it's irrelevant.

wheresmyphone Sun 26-Nov-17 11:08:05

Yes I agree. It does happen.

FeelingAggrieved Sun 26-Nov-17 11:10:10


FlashTheSloth Sun 26-Nov-17 11:11:49

YANBU. There are huge double standards on here and there are many posts that will try and look for a way to make something a mans fault. I've pointed it out on threads before that if it had been a woman posting the responses would have been different, usually in relationships.

WorraLiberty Sun 26-Nov-17 11:12:23

YANBU, it happens a lot.

BigDeskBob Sun 26-Nov-17 11:13:53

Pick a different name?

TrojansAreSmegheads Sun 26-Nov-17 11:14:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Sun 26-Nov-17 11:15:35

Perhaps time for a name change?

ColonelJackONeil Sun 26-Nov-17 11:18:13

I'm not really Colonel Jack O'Neill. Or am I?

munkynutts Sun 26-Nov-17 11:22:59

I also think it happens with sex a lot. If a man wants more sex from his partner or wife he's a pest, but if reversed, often it's assumed he's uncaring or cheating.

HAVING SAID THAT it's often because sadly women are still more often than not the victims in unfair setups. So yes there may be bias, but its for a reason.

FreudianSlurp Sun 26-Nov-17 11:25:44

YANBU in that it does happen that way sometimes. However, when I saw the title of this thread I guessed that you would be the OP, and I'm really bad at guessing usually!

As PP suggested, change your name to a neutral one and see if responses change. I suspect, however, it's your style of writing (including blaming others for not responding the way you want them to), and/or the things you are writing, so maybe look into changing that too.

jellyfrizz Sun 26-Nov-17 11:25:46

Well, yeah. That's because people treat men and women differently for no good reason.

BigDeskBob Sun 26-Nov-17 11:29:04

Have you ever thought it might be what you say and nothing all to do with your capitalised username?

PhilODox Sun 26-Nov-17 11:32:34

If you want different answers, change your name. No-one assumes I'm a man... probably because I post from a woman's PoV.

Kidsarekarma Sun 26-Nov-17 11:33:54

So yes there may be bias, but its for a reason.


YABU - if it bothers you pick a neutral NN.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid Sun 26-Nov-17 11:35:36


PinkHeart5914 Sun 26-Nov-17 11:36:08

Yanbu, Absolutely to some on here the minute a man does anything it’s hang him. Even sometimes if the op doesn’t say if her dp is Male or female the responses assume it’s a man and when she says she’s actually in a Same sex realtionship you do see the responses change.

CherryChasingDotMuncher Sun 26-Nov-17 11:38:11

So yes there may be bias, but its for a reason

This. In some cases the sex is relevant, but not all.

I agree about the sex pest double standard though.

Kpo58 Sun 26-Nov-17 11:39:37


The amount of times you see someone asking advice on a partner who is abusive to the children and response goes along the lines of:

Male abuser - female partner must LTB for everyones protection

Female abuser - she must be struggling/having MH issues. You need to help and support her more.

1DAD2KIDS Sun 26-Nov-17 11:41:31

Well I love the mansplaining thing (often in absence of another argument). Things like 'Glad to are here to mansplain to all us women'. Which is bollocks. I like many others want to communicate in detail my point sometimes. It has nothing to do with any perception of gender/sex of the people in the conversation. They would clearly not say this to anyone they thought was a woman. I see other poster give detailed responses but I don't see them as womansplaining or being patronising based on perceptions of gender. It's a conversation ffs and they are trying to make a point. Although we all have different perceptions on things to some my mere visibility as a man on here is like a red rag to a bull.

CuteKinn Sun 26-Nov-17 11:41:38


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