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When to take away "special" toy?

(395 Posts)
cookingongas Sat 25-Nov-17 11:26:25

My dd (7) has a special bear which she loves. Has had since birth and has been her special comfort toy. She is very very attached to it.

My dm constantly expresses distaste at the toy. She feels I should take it off dd - she'll cry for a bit but just get used to it as it will break/get lost eventually. She's too old for this. It's embarrassing etc etc.

She's growing up in so many ways- she reads and writes and does her own hair etc and I feel that this is just one thing she's kept that is still "babyish".

When, if ever, do you start to take special toys away? When is it "weird " to still love a toy as much as this? Aibu to ignore dm and let dd enjoy the toy?

LillyLollyLandy Sat 25-Nov-17 11:28:05

Tell your DM to butt out. Why would you take a much loves toy from a child?

Neverender Sat 25-Nov-17 11:29:20

Why would you take it away? Let her keep it forever

MortalEnemy Sat 25-Nov-17 11:29:49

Why on earth would you even consider taking a child's toy away??? And what on earth is your mother's problem???

Lowdoorinthewal1 Sat 25-Nov-17 11:29:52

God, no. Don't take it away!

Sarahh2014 Sat 25-Nov-17 11:29:59

My son had a special rabbit but gradually grew out of it but never would I have took it away that's cruel

TheStoic Sat 25-Nov-17 11:30:25

Your mum will make that toy disappear one day soon.

MayFayner Sat 25-Nov-17 11:30:26

I would never take it away. We do keep special toys in bedrooms though, because they whiff a bit might get lost.

WorkingCockers Sat 25-Nov-17 11:30:52

I would ignore. My lot love their comforter type toys, they're as precious to me as they are to my children.

I still have my teddy, he just sits on a chair in my room now. To me it's a nice memory.

quarterpast Sat 25-Nov-17 11:30:53

How miserable and cruel of your mother. Tell her to sod off.

FluffyMcCloud Sat 25-Nov-17 11:30:56

Why would you take away a treasured toy? Let her keep it as long as she wants! I took my ratty old bear to uni with me grin

lostincumbria Sat 25-Nov-17 11:31:31

Never. It'll gradually spend less and less time in her hands, more time in her room. No need to intervene at all.

liminality Sat 25-Nov-17 11:31:31

I still have my teddydog my nana gave me when I was 3. I'm 37. Admittedly I don't play with it as much as I used to. But it was very comforting to me in my teens, and I was super happy to have it as an adult on occasions.

She is BVVVU.

She doesn't need to take it when she stays/visits your DM. But absolutely no need to throw it away.

nancy75 Sat 25-Nov-17 11:31:44

Dd is 12 and still takes her special teddy to bed - when her friends have been for sleepovers they all seem to have a special toy that they bring.

DotDashBeep Sat 25-Nov-17 11:31:52

Never take away a special toy. My DP has his childhood teddy on the dressing table.

MarthaArthur Sat 25-Nov-17 11:32:46

This is why my family have a rule of alternating toys from birth and nwver letting faves out of the house. It stops children growing too emotionally attached to things. Partially because my favourite thing was stolen on a break in when i was a child.

WunWun Sat 25-Nov-17 11:32:51

I agree with everyone else, what a horrible idea! I don't know why it would occur to someone.

If she mentions it any more tell her you don't want to hear anything about it again.

BertrandRussell Sat 25-Nov-17 11:33:06

My dd took her bear to university. My ds still sometimes takes his dinosaur to bed and he's 16.

What purpose is served by taking them away?

LittleMyLikesSnuffkin Sat 25-Nov-17 11:33:27

Never is the answer. You don’t take the special toy away from the child at all. Your mother is a bellend.

Dahlietta Sat 25-Nov-17 11:33:29

My sister is nearly 40, married with DC, and she still sleeps with her special toy grin

IHeartDodo Sat 25-Nov-17 11:33:32

What!? Why would you take it away? I'm 27 and I still have a toy rabbit I've had since birth!
She sleeps in my bed but no longer comes on holiday!

shouldnthavesaid Sat 25-Nov-17 11:33:37

I'm 26 and still sleep with my teddy bear beside me - I think most people have something.. a friend in her late 40s sleeps with a nightdress under her pillow. It's fine, not weird, not childish and doesn't need taking away.

cookingongas Sat 25-Nov-17 11:33:36

The stoic- dm is not allowed near it- dd knows to keep it in her bedroom when dm is round and doesn't take it there , even on sleepovers. Dm caused a lost eye by washing it in a hot wash with washing balls because "it's disgusting ".

It IS in a sorry state to be fair, and doesn't look clean no matter what. I wash it in a bra bag in hand wash blush

MarthaArthur Sat 25-Nov-17 11:33:44

Oh i forgot the rest. Dont get rid of the toy. Maybe just confine it to her room so it doesnt get lost or thrown away.

Lunde Sat 25-Nov-17 11:33:51

Why on earth would you take away a treasured toy? Talk about cruel.

I still have my bear over 50 years later

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