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Do I tell the school about this teacher's past?

(211 Posts)
Friendoffoxes Fri 24-Nov-17 19:41:20

Longtime lurker here. A new teacher has joined my DC's school. It is a secondary and the subject she teaches is not one DC has chosen for options, so won't be teaching DC. I have only seen her on the website, so not come across her yet. Also I am married, so she wouldn't recognise me if she sees school related stuff with my name or DC's name. DH works from home so he does any pick ups if necessary, but DC normally takes the bus. Obviously I go to school stuff like performances, parents evenings, but do not get involved in PTA stuff or helping (dons Mumsnet hard hat)

I was a student with her and shared a house. She ended up stealing a significant amount of money (for a student) from me and two other people and when confronted tried to deny it and then tried to blackmail one of us (said she would tell everybody he had raped her-rubbish) if he would keep quiet about the money she had taken from him, and said the other two of us had agreed the money she had taken was a loan.

While we were dealing with this sh*t it emerged (don't want to go into details, but we started digging a bit) and she got expelled from a school because of bullying when she was younger. Also, her family got a shoplifting charge dropped (independent shop). Anyway, we decided to go to the police. We told her we would, if we didn't get the money back. Next thing we know, her family are on the phone, we have our money back with a nice generous extra added on top, on the condition we don't make any fuss.

We took it, we were young, trying to get on with our lives after graduating, skint.

Obviously she's passed a criminal check, but I'm horrified that she is working in a school. What do I do? do I have a quiet word with the school?

KnockMeDown Fri 24-Nov-17 19:44:59

You have no proof, though. They can't dismiss her on your say so.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Fri 24-Nov-17 19:46:52

Tbh you can't say anything.

papayasareyum Fri 24-Nov-17 19:47:17

Yes, unless she has a criminal conviction, the school wouldn’t be bothered I don’t think.

QueenNefertitty Fri 24-Nov-17 19:48:11

the thing is, she was young when she did all this- and presumably it was over a decade ago if you have DC in secondary? How do you know she hasn't totally turned her life around? Who are you to derail her new life if she has? Can you cope with the guilt, if you find out she's remorseful/repentant:has grown up and changed her life - and you scupper it with your interference?

By all means- tell tales-but you have no idea of the full story any more, so you could be ruining someone's "better life" with your old resentments.

Wide0penSpace Fri 24-Nov-17 19:48:42

If you didn't report it at the time I'm not sure there's a lot you could or should do about it now to be honest. It's really your word against hers. How long ago was the stealing incident? She might have turned her life around and be a very different person now. I'd probably leave it to be honest.

Butterfr33 Fri 24-Nov-17 19:49:20

You lost any moral high ground by accepting a bribe. You say you were young, so was she.

You'll be stirring trouble based on no proof. Leave it.

Sparklingbrook Fri 24-Nov-17 19:49:23

No you don't.

Rheged Fri 24-Nov-17 19:49:25

I wouldn’t. As a previous poster said, you have no proof so what do your really expect the school to do on your word only? You weee happy enough to take the money her family offered. Leave it.

Quartz2208 Fri 24-Nov-17 19:49:34

She has not got a criminal record because you did not report it. As shit as it sounds you have no proof at all so exactly what can you report?

Fluffypinkpyjamas Fri 24-Nov-17 19:49:43

She shouldn't be a teacher so yes, I would make it known. She sounds like she will slip up of her own accord though.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions Fri 24-Nov-17 19:49:56

It would look like you were bitter and unforgiving and were just out to start a smear campaign to get her the sack/damage her career.

ComedyBoobs Fri 24-Nov-17 19:50:03

Have you posted about her before, op?

Buttercupsandaisies Fri 24-Nov-17 19:50:25

Not sure why you feel the need to say anything?

She likely has no record so what can you say? The red no proof and parts just sound like hear say.

Think you're a bit out of order even considering it tbh.

Spikeyball Fri 24-Nov-17 19:50:57

It's your word against hers and it must have happened at least 15 years ago.

Labradoodliedoodoo Fri 24-Nov-17 19:51:55

How many years ago was it?

Everyone deserves a second chance. She sounds like she was young and very stupid. Who knows what she’s like now

roconnell Fri 24-Nov-17 19:51:58

God no. Stay well out of it. Unless her crimes relate to children/young people or you think they would be unsafe around her for some reason then don't tell the school this. I can see why you'd be uncomfortable with it and feel like you need to do something, but honestly just leave it. Because of your personal history with her I should think you'll be at risk of looking like that parent, even though you're right and you have a point, you could end up looking vindicative even if you're not.

ElephantsandTigers Fri 24-Nov-17 19:52:41

The none event with her family is irrelevant.

SlowlyShrinking Fri 24-Nov-17 19:53:17

She could have turned over a new leaf. Keep quiet about it.

OldWitch00 Fri 24-Nov-17 19:53:49

I’m the kind of gal that would meet privately with the HT, to share the story in case anything “strange” comes up.

RunningOutOfCharge Fri 24-Nov-17 19:53:59

i'm just imagining the conversation you would be starting with 'the school'...well,yers ago she did this and said that and all this happened, but,i have no proof....but i think it happened....

Whatififall Fri 24-Nov-17 19:55:51

Do not say anything.
It was a long time ago, you didn't go to the Police, she has passed DBS checks so hasn't done it again.
Yes it was awful for you but it was in the past. You wouldn't gain anything from telling the school.

roconnell Fri 24-Nov-17 19:55:57

Someone will doubtless be along in a minute to tell you to log it with 101, OP grin

ilovesooty Fri 24-Nov-17 19:56:13

You mean you rather fancy the idea of dropping her in it when you were quite happy to accept a generous pay off?

You don't have any proof anyway.

Nothingrhymeswithfamily Fri 24-Nov-17 19:57:06

She shouldn't be a teacher but you lost that right to say anything when you didn't go to the police. I'd imagine the school won't believe you and you'll be looked at as malicious.

Someone I know from my youth is a teacher now and I shudder that they are around children but I can't do anything as I didn't go to the police.

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