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DH just invited his mate over for Christmas Day

(543 Posts)
Robyrollover Thu 23-Nov-17 22:01:19

Just told me. Asked him whilst out at the weekend apparently. He's going to be on his own if not.

We already have my Dsis and family joining us, who have never met this friend, and aren't social by any stretch. BIL in particular is quite reserved.

I have said categorically no, it will be awkward for everyone (even I don't know him well, it's been well over a year since I've socialised with him), but he can come Boxing Day. I appreciate it's not in the spirit of Christmas, and if it wasn't for my Dsis I'd welcome him with open arms. Dh says I'm being a bitch.

So, over to you Mn... AIBU to say no?

CheapSausagesAndSpam Thu 23-Nov-17 22:02:23

I think you're being mean as DH has already asked him....though he should have checked. If he is now told "Sorry, wife says no" then he won't WANT to come on Boxing day.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Thu 23-Nov-17 22:03:22

I would say that yes, you are being a bitch. I can't believe you'd leave anyone by themselves on Christmas because your family aren't that nice

Kit1411 Thu 23-Nov-17 22:03:57

I don’t think your out of order, he should’ve discussed it with you at least. Are you doing all the running around and cooking while he expects to sit there with his mate drinking beer!?

ShatnersBassoon Thu 23-Nov-17 22:04:02

Could you ask your sister if she and her husband would mind? If they're quite unsociable people, they might like having someone else there to take the pressure off them.

AnnabellaH Thu 23-Nov-17 22:04:08

You're being cruel. YABU.

PinkHeart5914 Thu 23-Nov-17 22:04:16

Meh we are always more the merrier here, people generally just join in and have a good time at Christmas even if you don’t know them well.

I wouldn’t have a problem with it. Last year I had my friend here Christmas Day as she has nobody else, Dh was fine

Shoxfordian Thu 23-Nov-17 22:04:37

Yeah you are being mean and definitely not in the christmas spirit

MyBrilliantDisguise Thu 23-Nov-17 22:04:41

I think you're unreasonable. That guy will have to be on his own just because your sister's family are anti-social.

PolaDeVeboise Thu 23-Nov-17 22:04:49

Is he wholly objectionable? If not, why not let him come? It's Christmas FFS - a time for peace and goodwill to all men.

MimpiDreams Thu 23-Nov-17 22:04:57

Sorry but I think YABU, but then I always invite everyone I know who's on their own at Christmas.

AlpacaLypse Thu 23-Nov-17 22:05:38

YABU. Sorry but your sister and BIL and their children have each other to support them, another person around the table isn't going to be the end of their world.

Myneighboursnorlax Thu 23-Nov-17 22:05:39

If it was just the two of you having Christmas alone together then it would have been wrong of him to invite a friend. Since you're already having company, I don't see the problem, especially as the friend would be alone otherwise.

DialsMavis Thu 23-Nov-17 22:05:44

Ooh I don't know... Do you like the guy? If not YANBU but if he is a laugh and the other guests are not he might improve things.

My view may be coloured by the fact I invited my friend for Christmas without checking with DH but I was fairly sure he wouldn't mind

Robyrollover Thu 23-Nov-17 22:05:47

Should have elaborated - he does have family but DH reckons he will be alone hmm

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Thu 23-Nov-17 22:05:54

kit it absolutely nowhere states that OP is doing all the running around. You've assumed that.

blaaake Thu 23-Nov-17 22:06:33

Actually I think YANBU purely because your husband didn't consult you, it is his fault you're in this situation. Though I don't know if I could bring myself to uninvite him blush

Lucked Thu 23-Nov-17 22:06:42

Ideally he should have discussed it but yes you would be a bitch to retract the invite.

BarbaraOcumbungles Thu 23-Nov-17 22:06:43

I think you are being a bit of a bitch. Just loosen everyone up with lashings of sherry trifle and it'll be ok smile

AlpacaLypse Thu 23-Nov-17 22:07:10

And with a bit of luck he'll be one of the nicely brought up ones who go and do the washing up without being asked.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Thu 23-Nov-17 22:07:24

kit apologies you phrased that as a question and not an assumption...I should of read properly before I was a twa

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom Thu 23-Nov-17 22:07:28

I think you're being quite mean, how about you put yourself in his shoes for a minute-think you'd find christmas day on your own fun?

calzone Thu 23-Nov-17 22:07:46

Just let him come.

NoWordForFluffy Thu 23-Nov-17 22:07:49

I'm in the 'more the merrier' camp too.

I've invited my ex-BiL to join us (DH's sister's ex-H) if he's at a loose end. I'd hate to think of someone being alone if they didn't want to be. All waifs and strays welcome with us. They'd probably have to like building Lego, but that's the only stipulation! 😂

lorelairoryemily Thu 23-Nov-17 22:08:05

Really mean to take back the invitation

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