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In not wanting to be a feminist

(716 Posts)
tireddotcom72 Thu 23-Nov-17 20:42:46

I know I’m not alone as have had this conversation with friends but does anyone else feel PC stuff is just going too far now. The gender stuff is confusing me - I’m female always have been always will be and perfectly happy that way I don’t want to identify whatever that means with anything else and change my mind or whatever the gender fluid thing is ( that really confuses me) I’m mum to a daughter - who when younger was a pink, princess, Barbie loving frilly dress wearing child. I loved her wearing pretty dresses and wanting pretty hair. I’ve always worked in female dominated jobs - through choice no one forced me from being little I wanted to be cabin crew, my parents would have preferred me to be a solicitor, accountant or doctor like my siblings but supported my decision to go into the beauty industry because that’s what I was happy doing.
When I was younger I was whistled at in the street, had my bum pinched in nightclubs etc I wasn’t offended or outraged.

I don’t want to live in a genderless world, I don’t want my teenage daughter being in gender neutral changing rooms, I don’t even like being referred to as someone’s partner I’m quite happy being called his girlfriend.

I don’t want to offend anyone with my probably old fashioned views - I’m not even old! But I’m getting fed up of constantly hearing and reading about what I should think and believe, i mean the latest fuss about Sleeping beauty ..... what will pc brigade want to ban next?

Iusedtobeafreeelf Thu 23-Nov-17 20:44:37

Yabu

Butterfr33 Thu 23-Nov-17 20:46:14

I'm with you OP

Justanothernameonthepage Thu 23-Nov-17 20:46:36

YABU and could probably check the definition of feminist before deciding if you believe in the right to be treated equally to a man in the eyes of the law

RoomOfRequirement Thu 23-Nov-17 20:46:42

YABU to not want to be a feminist. I mean, if you don't want to be seen and treated as equal to men, it's your choice, but it is ridiculous.

NameChanger22 Thu 23-Nov-17 20:47:48

Don't be one then. You don't have to be. You might change your mind when you're older.

Bubblebubblepop Thu 23-Nov-17 20:47:51

Being a feminist is in no way related to political correctness, so your post doesn't make a huge amount of sense

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Thu 23-Nov-17 20:48:00

Do you know what being a feminist is OP? hmm YAB ridiculous.

LadyWithLapdog Thu 23-Nov-17 20:48:18

YABU and ignorant

Crunchymum Thu 23-Nov-17 20:48:36

I don't label myself as a feminist but bloody Hell your post is depressing and disappointing!

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Thu 23-Nov-17 20:48:59

Feminist and PC are not the same things. Same with the gender debate. There is a feminist debate about it but it's not actually linked with being a feminist.

There is also nothing about being a feminist that says 'you can't like 'girly' things.'

So on this occassion- YABU for being misinformed.

MortalEnemy Thu 23-Nov-17 20:49:13

Your choice, OP. Feel free to embrace the pay gap, pathetic rape conviction rates and the many other delights of the patriarchy.

catgirl1976 Thu 23-Nov-17 20:49:24

Hi

I think you've really misunderstood what feminism is.

I don't think YABU to find the current gender issues disturbing but most feminists agree with you whole heatedly on this one.

Do you want equal rights? Do you want equal pay? Do you want equal opportunities? Do you want bodily autonomy? If yes, then hey - you're a feminist smile You can still enjoy wearing pink, looking pretty and working in the beauty industry - none of that precludes you from being a feminist.

Caitlin Moran put it "Have a vagina? Want to be in charge of it? Then you're a feminist". Maybe a little simplistic but ..

katplva Thu 23-Nov-17 20:50:45

YABU. Being female does not mean liking pink or frills. It has historically (and still does in many places) meant being treated as a second class citizen purely based on biological sex, no matter what personality traits or interests. Feminism (for me at least) is about trying to stand up to this ingrained social inequality. So please reconsider your stand on feminism, for the sake of DDs everywhere.

katplva Thu 23-Nov-17 20:50:59

YABU. Being female does not mean liking pink or frills. It has historically (and still does in many places) meant being treated as a second class citizen purely based on biological sex, no matter what personality traits or interests. Feminism (for me at least) is about trying to stand up to this ingrained social inequality. So please reconsider your stand on feminism, for the sake of DDs everywhere.

DancingHouse Thu 23-Nov-17 20:52:33

It's way over your head.

LizzieSiddal Thu 23-Nov-17 20:52:51

You seem a little confused as to what a feminist is, OP.

TovaGoldCoin Thu 23-Nov-17 20:53:11

So many reasons why YABU.... I will ask though, what defines pretty hair, and being girly....? So many ways to be a girl, and wearing pink and being a princess (vomit) is just one of them.

lookingforthecorkscrew Thu 23-Nov-17 20:53:43

Would you be ‘fine’ with your right to vote being taken away?

Would you mind your property all being held by your husband?

Would you accept it is your husband’s conjugal right to have sex with you whenever he felt like it, regardless of your feelings on the matter?

Of course you wouldn’t. You are a feminist.

Doesthiscountasausername Thu 23-Nov-17 20:55:11

Forgot all the far wing feminist stuff portrayed by the daily fail and such like. At its core, feminism is about the equal treatment of all. If you think that no matter the gender, race, sexual orinentation or anything else that makes people unique that everyone is equal, then you agree with the core values of feminism. Wether you wish to label yourself as one or not, if you believe in basic equality then you are a feminist just under a different name.

PashPash Thu 23-Nov-17 20:55:12

Well that’s settled then

I’ll stop campaigning about the pay gap, and equality of opportunity in careers, Lack of females in senior management. Never mind stuff like conviction rates in the justice system.

Sorry, gosh, I really just hadn’t considered it might interfere with your wish to wear pink and have your bum pinched.

I do apologise.

Geneticsbunny Thu 23-Nov-17 20:55:35

I am quite girly and am a feminist. I am a feminist because I think men and women should be equal in society. Who wouldn't want that? My husband is also a feminist.

StinkPickle Thu 23-Nov-17 20:55:38

I think you have no idea what a feminist is!!

And most feminists are VERY anti gender neutral changing rooms (men in women’s changing rooms is not a good idea)

fleurjasmine Thu 23-Nov-17 20:55:52

Well, not all feminists hold the same view, although people do sometimes post factual-sounding statements along the lines of, 'if you are a feminist then ...' which presents the stance that all feminists believe certain things and additionally that if you happen not to, you are not a feminist.

In reality, feminism is a varied and much-discussed movement, and while there is a consensus amongst those who have read one Caitlin Moran book and now are punching the air wearing a bandana, in the wider movement this isn't the case at all.

So in short, YABU. You may have the views you do, and be a feminist. You can express them and be a feminist. Diversity of views is not a problem in feminism, never has been. The acknowledgement we are all broadly on the same side is enough, for me.

WiseUpJanetWeiss Thu 23-Nov-17 20:56:25

Being a feminist means that you get to have the choice to be pink and frilly, or not.

If you’re happy deferring to people with penises simply because they have a penis, that’s just fine, but don’t try to impose your lifestyle choices on other people.

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