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To Be Offended!?

(41 Posts)
LetItRain88 Thu 23-Nov-17 16:39:04

My LB is 11 weeks old and during the birth I suffered 4th degree tears. Needless to say exercise has been almost non existent except for the last few weeks I’ve forced myself out for a walk with the baby. Dieting hasn’t exactly been top priority and I have not exactly ‘bounced back’ body wise. I have gone from a 12/14 to a 14/16 or the occasional 18 which is a little baggy but still fits.

I’m not happy about it but I just figured I’d hop on the band wagon in January with everyone else and make a real go of getting into shape again.

However earlier today I went for lunch with my grandpa. He starts telling me about all these supplements I need to be taking because, and I quote, “you really need to lose weight”. He’s commented here and there about my weight before. He saw me when my baby was three days old and he pointed at my belly and said “I thought that would be gone by now. When’s that going to go?” He’s never had much tact so I just ignored him. But today it upset me a lot.

My husband has hinted at eating healthier etc which I don’t mind as it’s true, I definitely could eat healthier. But to be told straight up “you need to lose we

LetItRain88 Thu 23-Nov-17 16:40:20

Ffs posted before I was ready!

But basically you all get what I’m saying surely? I have the right to be upset don’t I!? X

Maplestaple Thu 23-Nov-17 16:45:52

Your baby is 11 weeks old? Tell them to get stuffed! ofcourse you have the right to feel upset.

ShuttyTown Thu 23-Nov-17 16:46:08

I think your grandad and DH are being utter twats. You had a baby with a traumatic birth 11 weeks ago and they have the cheek to lecture you on your weight and healthy eating. I’m raging with them on your behalf OP flowers

Fuck what they think, you get back in to shape if and when you feel like it, get yourself over the birth first. If men had to give birth they’d take to their beds for a year no doubt, but they expect women to be back to normal in a week. angry

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar Thu 23-Nov-17 16:46:22

Yes you do. It's your body, it's no-one else's business. If you want to lose weight for yourself, you will do, in your own time. You've quite rightly been prioritising your baby and your recovery for now. Tell them to piss off, or if you want to be really sure they'll not being up the subject again, describe exactly what tearing you had and why it means exercise isn't top priority (or even advisable for the first while!)

pingu73 Thu 23-Nov-17 16:46:34

Give yourself a break my god it’s been 11 weeks. Don’t make food a guilty secret just have a relaxed far as you can with a baby and take it steady in the new year slow and steady wins the racesmile

KimmySchmidt1 Thu 23-Nov-17 16:49:34

Of course the man is being a total arsehole. Christ knows who he thinks he is. But it doesn't really matter whether you are upset - what matters is why you don't say something to him.

i'm baffled as to why people tiptoe around parents and grandparents whilst the Ps and GPs say whatever they want, and often in an emotionally selfish, indulgent, and unpleasant way.

Just be emotionally honest in your reaction. If your reaction is "are you joking? Do you really think that's appropriate or fair?" then ask him that question.

HelloSquirrels Thu 23-Nov-17 16:50:49

11 weeks is nothing! Id be offended too.

Have a nice xmas and start in the new year if YOU want to.

DancesWithOtters Thu 23-Nov-17 16:50:59

Tell Grandpa to feck off.

Namechangetempissue Thu 23-Nov-17 16:51:05

They are rude and obviously totally unreasonable. The healthy eating bit isn't as bad, but the direct comments on your weight are awful.
I would probably just ignore him. Every time he brings it up totally blank him, no comment, no facial expressions, or get up and walk away without saying anything.
Either that, or if you feel you can (I know it can be hard with family members) say 'it is very rude to comment on someone's weight. Please mind your own business in the future'.

Sayyouwill Thu 23-Nov-17 16:57:23

My baby is 11 months and I haven't bounced back yet.
I'm still a dress size bigger and feel awful in myself despite doing exercise and eating okay.

Itsonkyme Thu 23-Nov-17 17:01:42

Some older men in my family have thought it ok to comment on my Dd's weight. She's in her thirties now by the way.
One was her Uncle but he was always a bullying arsewipe. And the other is her own Father.
It used to upset her as they were quite blunt about it. The Uncle is now dead and when her Father comments now, we just blame it on his senility. grin
I really can't understand what they think gives them the right!

RaspberryBeret34 Thu 23-Nov-17 17:16:00

YANBU! Totally ignore, keep on as you are. I ate shed loads when my DS was tiny and gradually, over his first year, the weight disappeared. Just do what you can, when you can. I don't think some people older men have any concept of what it's like to look after a tiny baby.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Thu 23-Nov-17 17:18:44

What are these miracle supplements he's pushing? They sound like a waste of money.

Perhaps he's developing dementia? That causes older people to blurt out personal insults sometimes. confused

RemainOptimistic Thu 23-Nov-17 17:18:44

What the fuck?

Jesus I'm impressed you didn't smack him in the mouth. The priority is recovery and caring for baby.

You are doing fantastically well, carry on.

RaspberryBeret34 Thu 23-Nov-17 17:19:51

Oh and my boss the other day said I was "really quite chunky" when DS was a baby (DS is now 5). The first time I saw him after having DS, I was comfortably wearing a size 8 dress so I've no idea why on earth he'd say it (and obviously he shouldn't have said it even if I was a size 30!). I calmly told him he was rude and inappropriate. I think some men can't help but comment because they assume all women's primary existence is to look good for them. Ugh, I'm still cross about it so I don't blame you at all OP for feeling offended!

Mamabear4180 Thu 23-Nov-17 17:21:55

Yes be offended but then ignore arsehole comments like that! Don't diet yet, just enjoy your baby! You need lots of energy for night wakings etc. It takes a couple of years to get your body back in shape realistically.

whataconundrum Thu 23-Nov-17 17:23:30

What an arsehole. It's only been 11 weeks!

fuzzywuzzy Thu 23-Nov-17 17:23:40

My baby is almost six months and I’ve not pinged back into pre pregnancy shape. I’d punch anyone who started about my figure. It’s nobodys business but yours.

Try and eat healthy for yourself and your wellbeing, make sure you get all the nutrition you need you’re still healing from the birth ignore anyone who’s being negative.

Point to your grandfathers stomach and ask him when that’s going to go, I’m assuming he doesn’t have a six pack himself.

Congratulations on your new baby.

Bringbackpublicfloggings Thu 23-Nov-17 17:24:11

After ds 2 was born, my gp told me it takes nine months to make a baby so you you should give yourself at least nine months for your body to recover and get back into shape.

TheBeastOfRoystonVasey Thu 23-Nov-17 17:24:45

I would ignore, easier said than done, when i had DD, i was just out of the hospital and my grandad said "eeh, hasnt Beast put on a lot of weight?" No fucking shit, i had just had a 9lb baby a couple of days previouslyhmm

Some people are just twats

Sarahh2014 Thu 23-Nov-17 17:26:40

Reminds me of when I went to visit dh grandparents when ds was around 2 months they asked me 'if everything was alright' because I looked 3 months pregnant. I was in tears when we left talk about rude and tactless

backstreetsback Thu 23-Nov-17 17:27:01

Tell them to push a watermelon out of their arses then rip their perineum through to their penis then ask them how comfortable they’d be going to the gym 4 times a week. Ignore them and concentrate on your baby. Hope you’re healing ok x

Kintan Thu 23-Nov-17 17:37:55

Why is your grandfather commenting on your body anyway - if he says anything tell him to stop being so creepy. Congratulations on your baby!

Jaxhog Thu 23-Nov-17 17:38:11

What the hell has it got to do with them anyway? Do they expect you to be all 'pretty' and slim for them? I bet they don't look as healthy and taut as you would like THEM to be! And they haven't just put their bodies through major trauma.

Tell them to push a watermelon out of their arses then rip their perineum through to their penis then ask them how comfortable they’d be going to the gym 4 times a week. Ignore them and concentrate on your baby. Hope you’re healing ok

Couldn't have put it better.

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