I’ve name changed here and I’m sorry but it’s a long one...
My mother was emotionally manipulative and extremely controlling growing up.
I actually stop short of saying she was abusive because I’m not certain that this was done consciously to harm but rather from a disturbed upbringing herself and her own thoughts being twisted.
I basically grew up believing I wasn’t worth the same as other people, a severe lack of self worth and such low confidence that I don’t know how I got by in general life sometimes.
Earlier this year she said some things that were very controlling and manipulative in the heat of an argument and I can’t un-hear what she said.
We haven’t really spoken since.
I had been ready to write her out of my life completely but every now and then I get a bit of a sadness about not seeing my mum.
I feel very angry still and every time I look at my life and lack of career and mental instability (I have low level depression, currently being treated) that is on a base level down to my upbringing, I just hate her all over again.
I want to move on but I feel like she should be held accountable for what’s happened but I know she won’t accept responsibility - her automatic response to any negativity is aggressively defensive.
I don’t know what to do.
I feel like this is holding me back from moving forwards.
AIBU to not just move on and if so then I don’t know how to do that. Any advice?
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AIBU?
To not let it go...?
6 replies
TheDayOfReckoning · 23/11/2017 14:17
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