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AIBU?

How social media can come back to haunt you.

110 replies

JustHope · 23/11/2017 09:27

So a little known YouTube star has been kicked off I’m A Celebrity because of comments and messages he sent in his teens. Also recently other stars such as Stormzy have had to apologise for comments made online when they were a lot younger. While I don’t condone what they said or did, I find it pretty alarming that things that people posted when they were young and naive can come back to haunt them many years later. It seems a bit unfair.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 23/11/2017 09:32

No you're not. Glad I grew up in my teen years just as the Internet started gaining popularity and now feel no need for Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or the like.

Without sounding dramatic, I think Twitter has been the worst trend in this decade. It is powerful but does far more damage than good.

CactusJelly00 · 23/11/2017 09:32

It is unfair, but that's why it's critical to always remember that

  1. Anything you put online can be shared, copied, photographed/screenshotted etc. the second you click post or send you lose all control.
  2. Never put online or in a message what you wouldn't be willing to say to your mum, nana, manager, boyfriend, etc. it will only serve to hurt you. I'm sure we've all had a message shared with someone who wasn't intended to see it, or a post taken out of context or something. More often than not it blows over but I can imagine if someone stands to gain a lot from watching you fall screenshots would soon start to circulate.
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/11/2017 09:36

No you're not. Hands up anyone who hasn't done something bloody stupid when they've been younger. I'm not going go pretend my hand isn't raised.
Yes what he said was way out of line, but Should he be punished for the rest of his life and have his career ruined.

Butterfr33 · 23/11/2017 09:36

I too also think it wasn't unfair for him to be kicked out. He was young and stupid like we all were. Looking back through my FB, I often cringe at some of the things I've said in the past. May need to make a new one!

From what I've seen, schools are educating children more about what they post and how it can impact their future lives. Something I didn't get in school. I actually know a fella who is hired by companies to search through people's social media before they offer employment.

drinkswineoutofamug · 23/11/2017 09:40

This is a conversation I have had with my daughter. I don't do face book. Hate it with a passion. She does. She has just gain employment in the nhs. Told her to know be careful what she says, does, likes . Big brother is watching. She closed her teenage account and has opened up a shinny new one. Not sure what difference that will make.

TheSecondOfHerName · 23/11/2017 09:42

The person who exposed this should have had a long hard look at his own past tweets before commenting on someone else's.

People in glass houses...

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 23/11/2017 09:43

I think the I’m a celeb star has also been accused of asking a 14 year for inappropriate pics and that’s the reason he’s been chucked out.

But I agree with you OP. When I was 16 I thought I knew everything and my opinions were set in stone, when I was 19 I thought 16 year old me was stupid and I knew everything at 19 - it was when I was about 23 that I realised I knew bugger all and you should try to do your best to be a good person.

TheSecondOfHerName · 23/11/2017 09:46

Posted when he was an adult, so he can't use adolescence as an excuse.

How social media can come back to haunt you.
How social media can come back to haunt you.
PavlovianLunge · 23/11/2017 09:47

I think it really depends on what was said and when. If I remember correctly, recently a labour politician and the editor of Gay Times have lost their job or position because of old social media comments, but in each case, the comments were pretty bloody awful, and I think both had done it over a longer period of time. James Arthur was persona non grata for a while after some horrible twitter rants, but seems to be reformed now - though do mysoginists and homophobes ever change their spots?

But a handful of snarky tweets when a very young adult? I couldn’t get worked up about that. Maybe they should have left him in and let him (potentially) show the person he is now.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/11/2017 09:48

Oh Dear just read he was thrown out because. He asked a 14 year old fan to send him pictures of her boobs, and When she rightly refused.
He called her ugly and a bore. I'm losing sympathy. If I'm honest.
You can't do that to anyone. Let alone a young girl, well no a child basically, and not expect it to catch up with you.
I can't link on this fossil i likd to call a phone, but. If you google him it will come up.

Firesuit · 23/11/2017 09:50

Attributed (possibly wrongly) to Mark Twain

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.

Maudlinmaud · 23/11/2017 09:50

Yes and no. I think this might drive it home to young people what they've been told a million times already by school, parents and the Internet safety people. Let's face it most young people roll their eyes at these warnings. Now they can see the evidence and results for themselves.
It's not fair to make an example of one stupid kid but it may just have a knock on effect that is desperately needed.

Firesuit · 23/11/2017 09:51

Sorry, that was in response to

But I agree with you OP. When I was 16 I thought I knew everything and my opinions were set in stone, when I was 19 I thought 16 year old me was stupid and I knew everything at 19 - it was when I was about 23 that I realised I knew bugger all and you should try to do your best to be a good person.

ScreamingValenta · 23/11/2017 09:54

I think YABU, for two reasons -

  1. Yes, most people have done stupid/awful things in their time - I certainly have - but people have a choice about whether to post details of their lives and attitudes on Facebook and Twitter. These aren't simple 'sharing' of things with friends and family, these are comments/pictures which were attention-seeking, unpleasant and controversial.


  1. Anyone who seeks celebrity status has to accept that past misdeeds might come out of the woodwork - it's the downside to the attention and money that comes with fame. These people weren't thrust into the limelight against their will - I'd have more sympathy in that case - these are people who have cultivated 'celebrity' status - if they don't like what comes along with it, they should step out of the limelight.
Butterfr33 · 23/11/2017 09:55

@Awwlookatmybabyspider

It also says that he was 17 at the time and there's nothing to suggest he was aware of the girls young age.

Not excusing his comments to the girl but honestly, I don't know many 17 yo boys who haven't asked to see a girls tits on cam.

GerrytheBerry · 23/11/2017 09:55

It's a bloody disgrace pulling peoples every wrong doing up from the distant past, and it's the media who take delight in dredging through people's affairs to find a snippet of something to make a story about. This lad was a kid when it all was said, crikey, I'd be hung if I was called out on some of the rubbish I probably said at his age!
I personally hate social media for this reason, I wouldn't want every word I said analysing its ridiculous.

FlowerPot1234 · 23/11/2017 09:59

I have no problem with their comments coming back to haunt them - and therefore be accountable for what they said.

They have the opportunity to substantiate it, to say they have changed their mind, to say they don't feel as strongly any more, to say things have changed.

I do have a problem with auto-outrage pressurising someone to withdraw something that they thought was ok to write back then and really think it's ok to still say now, but they go into auto-apology mode. I do have a problem with auto-sacking and not given anybody the opportunity to have a say about what happened and what they said.

Celticlassie · 23/11/2017 09:59

He could have gone through his twitter and deleted old tweets surely. I know he’s young, but he made his money through the internet so you’d expect him to be a little more savvy. He also had an agent, who should had been advising him re things like this. Once you go on a show like I’m a Celeb you must know your every move will be scrutinised. I can’t believe he’s that naive.

peppykoala · 23/11/2017 10:03

Interesting article on this in the New Statesman today... www.newstatesman.com/science-tech/social-media/2017/11/disquieting-rise-search-and-shame

Oliversmumsarmy · 23/11/2017 10:05

Hands up anyone who hasn't done something bloody stupid when they've been younger*

There's a difference between doing something that is bloody stupid and writing about it for all the world to see.

AngelaTwerkel · 23/11/2017 10:05

"honestly, I don't know many 17 yo boys who haven't asked to see a girls tits on cam."

What a low opinion you have of teenagers.

Fattymcfaterson · 23/11/2017 10:09

Those tweets were not posted when he was an adult. The date says 2010!! He's only 22 now. Are we classing 15yr olds as adults now?

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DJBaggySmalls · 23/11/2017 10:12

People who treat other people like dirt should be treated the same as people who have never treated other people like dirt. Because they now want to be famous.
Really?

No, its a good example to people posting. If you cant be a genuinely decent person at least try to give the appearance of it. Because there may be consequences.

Ffsdh · 23/11/2017 10:12

TheSecondOf the tweets you’ve posted were by Dan Wootton, that’s not the guy on I’m a Celeb.

The discussed this yesterday on This Morning. Apparently it’s not the tweets that he made in 2012 and already apologised for. Some new private messages have come to light that haven’t been publicly shown yet.

But, I’m bloody glad I’m not being held accountable for things I did as a young teenager. I think even if I knew they would be there forever for everyone to see, I was so sure of my opinion at that age I wouldn’t have cared.

AnathemaPulsifer · 23/11/2017 10:13

He had deleted them but I assume screenshots or archives have emerged.

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