My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To send a sick toddler to nursery?

350 replies

user4321 · 23/11/2017 08:25

Im on my way to work feeling awful having just dropped my 18month old off at nursery. He is unwell in the sense he has a cold and runny nose and temp, is being more clingy and is more sensitive to tantrums than his usual self. It is more likely than not that the nursery will call one of us to collect him, but my DH has a meeting first thing (after that he is free and can leave work if required). With my employer, it looks better if I’m called away than to not show up in the first place. But I’m feeling guilty and thinking I shouldn’t have left him there in the first place, is it unfair on the staff?

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 23/11/2017 08:25

And all the other kids, and their parents too.

Stormwhale · 23/11/2017 08:27

No you shouldn't have sent him. A snotty nose, fair enough, but not with a temp. Poor child, poor staff, poor other children!

converseandjeans · 23/11/2017 08:28

I think it is unfair on DS too. Get DH to collect him as soon as meeting is done. Appreciate it is hard though. I have been lucky to have in laws to help out.

LambMadras · 23/11/2017 08:28

Yep thanks, if that’s my kids nursery that’ll be picked up by my kids and then probably passed on to my elderly dad. All so you can save face at work.

Lovely.

Rinoachicken · 23/11/2017 08:29

The temp is the decider for me, sorry

IceBearRocks · 23/11/2017 08:29

You should never send children anywhere with a fever.... You are putting the other children and staff at risk of infection.

DesignedForLife · 23/11/2017 08:30

Yeah thanks, that's everyone else's kids with fevers and whatever it turns out to be. Many things like chicken pox start out with fever and runny nose.

Sirzy · 23/11/2017 08:31

So nice of you to share the germs with all the other children

Crunchymum · 23/11/2017 08:32

Temperature is a no-no from me.

Sorry your employer isn't supportive and your DH couldn't skip his meeting but you really shouldn't have sent the child in. It's quite selfish.

Emlou07 · 23/11/2017 08:33

Honestly, yes. I don't send my children if they're unwell. Even with a cold. They don't feel good and don't want to be there and the nursery probably doesn't want them there either. Not only can they infect everyone there, their immune systems are lowered and I worry they'll be at risk of catching something else.

I have the advantage of being a SAHM. So I do understand where you're coming from as my OH says the same - that being called home is better than not turning up.

Our nurseries rules are that if anything requires calpol or similar then keep them home x

Rinoachicken · 23/11/2017 08:35

If your husbands meeting is that vital, could you have agreed that you’d stay at home until his meeting has finished and then swap over, both only having half a day off?

Threeislikeaprisonsentance · 23/11/2017 08:36

My child’s been ill permanently since about September, are you really not supposed to send them in with a cold? I would’ve been sacked by now if that’s the case Confused

roobrr · 23/11/2017 08:37

Running a temp means he should be kept off. Did you tell the staff he had one?

juddyrockingcloggs · 23/11/2017 08:38

Be brilliant that for the kids with the low immune systems. Hopefully no gets hospitalised just before Christmas.

QueenUnicorn · 23/11/2017 08:38

You sent a child in with a fever?
Great, not only will more children get sick but now all of their parents will need to take time off work as well.

Finsmum86 · 23/11/2017 08:40

I wouldn't send my kid anywhere with a cold either if I was a SAHM. But I wouldn't be employed if I followed your rule as my kids have a cold for at least a month a year. But in the case of the OP no way would I have sent him in with a temp. Mean on the child, thoughtless and inconsiderate with regards to the staff and other children.

Overtiredbackagain · 23/11/2017 08:40

Sending with a cold is one thing, but not with a temp. Surprised the nursery accepted him to be honest, slight hint of a temp and I get the call to collect my DD.

Finsmum86 · 23/11/2017 08:40

Sorry that was a reply to Emlou

Sarahh2014 · 23/11/2017 08:42

Not good taking a poorly child in just so 'it looks better at work"

Catsize · 23/11/2017 08:43

I can’t stand this. Not only is it hugely unfair on the kid who just wants to be tucked up in bed with teddies and cuddles, but it puts the other children and their families at risk. But that is okay because your arrangements are so very much more complicated and important than other people’s, right? Utter tosh.

danTDM · 23/11/2017 08:43

You are the type of person that is the reason my DD has been ill since September. I am fed up of it. You are so selfish. Yes UABU

Ameliablue · 23/11/2017 08:43

Temperature and more clingy than normal should be kept home.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

HumpHumpWhale · 23/11/2017 08:45

You should be feeling guilty. A cold is obviously fine, but a child with a temperature shouldn't be at nursery. Parents like you are why my 17 month old has has a vomiting bug and hand foot and mouth since starting nursery 2 months ago.

Howsthings1234 · 23/11/2017 08:45

Oh dear sorry to hear your little one is not well! I totally understand how difficult it is with work and it’s a sad state of affairs but very true that it is easier with work to get a call asking you to pick up rather than not going in at all. It shouldn’t be that way but as a working parent we are trying to please everyone!

I do think some of the other posters are right though and it does get stressful when the germs start spreading around nursery. It’s been so bad recently at my daughters nursery. I went to get her the other day at the end of the day and she was the only one left in her room as all the others had been sent home poorly. Low and behold my daughter also caught the chest infection.

Anyway, little one is there now so don’t stress too much - they will look after them and they will call you if they are unhappy and you’ve done what you had to do this morning.

Fingers crossed your toddler feels better soon.

Emlou07 · 23/11/2017 08:46

@Finsmum86

Both of my daughters were premature with respiratory distress, so any coughs and colds they get they really really suffer. I agree that I wouldn't be able to do it if I worked as I'd have no job! But all the while I can stay at home, obviously I will. I'm hoping with everything crossed that as they get bigger their immune systems will get stronger and they won't suffer as much - X

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.