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Not to pay for teachers' gifts?

(87 Posts)
nutcasetobe Wed 22-Nov-17 20:46:43

Hi there,
I moved my daughter to a new school (private) this year, and couple of weeks ago, PTA sent an email raising money for teacher Christmas and end of year gift. They have asked for 60pounds per student. It’s not a big school, around 150 student and 15 teacher in total I would say.
I usually wouldn’t mind paying, however they did not give the option of paying less if you can’t pay or simply don’t want to spend that much. On top of that they started sending emails of who paid and who is yet to pay which I felt they were bullying the parents into it.
I always teach my kids that a gift has to be thoughtful and personal. I teach them not to be bullied to do something they don’t want or see right to do.. I feel I will be betraying my own self if I do... AIBU not to pay and possibly get my daughter in awkward situation with her peers?

ahatlikeprincessmarina Wed 22-Nov-17 20:48:33

That works out at a £600 present for each teacher! shock Am I missing something?!

MaisyPops Wed 22-Nov-17 20:49:36

Seems odd to me even by school thread / first post standards. confused

You are an adult. Contribute what you like. Do what you like.

SequinsOnEverything Wed 22-Nov-17 20:49:36

£60 per pupil! shockshockshock
What are they buying them?!

I do wish we all chipped in together and bought vouchers or something at our school instead if all trying to think of something to buy, but it would be nowhere near this much! They can't just demand money from you.

mineofuselessinformation Wed 22-Nov-17 20:50:22

I'd email back and state that you will be purchasing your own gifts, and that you do not give permission for your name to be included in any email about group gifts for teachers.

MaisyPops Wed 22-Nov-17 20:50:26

Am I missing something?!
That there may be some levels of creativity in the post possibly.

DamsonGin Wed 22-Nov-17 20:51:04

Can you reply that you've already got / made something, and then get / make something (at whatever budget you choose, they're taking the piss).

Level75 Wed 22-Nov-17 20:52:27

That's loads of money. At my son's private school it's a fiver per teacher/ta so £15 per family.

mumisnotmyname Wed 22-Nov-17 20:54:20

For what it’s worth we moved to a new school also private last term and have been asked to contribute 50 dollars per child and 25 dollars extra for each class teacher. But it was made clear it was voluntary and no records are kept. This was the capped amount!

tangerino Wed 22-Nov-17 20:59:06

This is normal at my children’s school, although the money lasts the year, not just Christmas. It works well as it means the teacher gets something decent, it’s low effort for parents and generally gifts are bought for support staff etc out of the same pot. Keeps everything simple and stops competitive gift-giving (urgh).

If you don’t want to take part, just say so. If it’s the norm there and you haven’t said you don’t want to be included, of course they are assuming you’ll join in. If you don’t want to, speak up.

LaLaLady2 Wed 22-Nov-17 21:03:46

Wow, thank goodness for a box of 'Roses'😉

Creambun2 Wed 22-Nov-17 21:07:52

When I was at school no-one gave teachers a gift and it wasn't expected either.

MrsHathaway Wed 22-Nov-17 21:13:55

I really really really don't understand collection presents for teachers for Christmas. I don't.

It's not meant to be about what they actually get (check any post from any teacher on the subject): it's about having been thought of. Chucking a fiver in someone else's collection is about as far away from "the thought that counts" as you can get. It's like tipping the waiter after a group night out, who you'll never see again and don't give a shit about. It's pretty much the opposite of what a teacher present is supposed to be, surely?

And if it's close to compulsory, WTAFF quite frankly. Sixty pounds is an eye-watering sum of money. State/independent isn't hugely relevant except that I expect state school teachers wouldn't be able to accept such large gifts. Parents of children at independent schools can be cutting their budgets to the bone to pay school fees, and wouldn't necessarily be spending £60 on their DC, let alone teachers.

Leaving collections are a bit different, though I'm sometimes a bit confused if they're used to buy an item/experience instead of given in cash/vouchers. When I left one company I was given around £75-worth of cut flowers. Kind ... except that I had to take the fuckers home on the packed commuter train and I don't like cut flowers anyway. £25 in vouchers would have been far far more use to me than £75 of compost...

juddyrockingcloggs Wed 22-Nov-17 21:15:22

Wow! £600 per teacher! Nah!! I don’t think so!

To be honest I’m a ‘not giving Christmas presents to teachers at all’ kind of mother! But that’s just me!

If you don’t want to give anything or a lesser amount then don’t!

Mimisrevenge Wed 22-Nov-17 21:16:48

Agreed. At my kids private school it’s £20 each pet child. I declined...

Mimisrevenge Wed 22-Nov-17 21:17:14

* per!

Angrybird345 Wed 22-Nov-17 21:17:46

I hope the teachers are reporting their gifts to HMRC!

I wouldn’t pay that!

icelolly99 Wed 22-Nov-17 21:22:38

Never bought or contributed to a teachers gift; no one's bothered who does or doesn't at my children's schools; thank goodness!

PyongyangKipperbang Wed 22-Nov-17 21:23:19

"Thank you for your email, we are making our own arrangements for teachers gifts so could you please remove me from the group email list regarding this. Thank you."

Job done.

Ceto Wed 22-Nov-17 21:24:52

I would suggest you point out to them that sending round information about parents' names and payments made is a breach of the Data Protection Act. That may at least shut them up on that front. In fact, did you give permission for your contact details to be given to the PTA anyway?

Mojamma12 Wed 22-Nov-17 21:24:58

My son's teacher would usually get a box of chocolates and a card, in which he would write his own wee message. (Usually with handwriting that was so bad it looked as though a spider had danced all over the page ..LOL!!).

£60..?? Get stuffed!! On my salary £60 would buy me at least two weeks shopping!!!...Ho,Ho,Ho!!!...

PyongyangKipperbang Wed 22-Nov-17 21:26:20

Most of the private parents I know are poor as church mice because they prioritize fees over having disposable income, so would be less likely to afford that amount than a state school child. Whoever came up with this hasnt thought it through and I wonder if this is the first year.....

Bubblebubblepop Wed 22-Nov-17 21:27:35

I think this is fairly common amongst certain private schools. I think there is a sort of expectation you will all contribute to the teacher presents collectively but not necessarily the set amount

MadameJosephine Wed 22-Nov-17 21:27:45

Holy shit, 60 quid! I don’t even spend that on a Christmas present for members of my own family never mind a teacher

LloydColeandtheCoconuts Wed 22-Nov-17 21:29:06

I used to work in a private school for a year and when I left I got £150 in John Lewis vouchers!!! I was shocked but very grateful.
I’m in a state school now and still get lovely things but no extravagant vouchers. I wouldn’t be allowed to accept them even if I did.

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