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Another Christmas at in-laws one (sorry)

(6 Posts)
ByThePowerOfRa Wed 22-Nov-17 16:59:40

I know this has been done to death but here goes.

I’m going to be 8 months pregnant with dc2 at Christmas. DH’s in-laws are being lovely about Christmas arrangements. They have offered either to let us host, or we can all go to SIL’s for a fuss free roast and present exchange. DH has already said that we can’t realistically host Christmas dinner, as we’ll never fit them all in our house! He’s right about that.

Would I be a horrible witch to say no thank you to SIL’s invitation?

They’re very nice people and I really appreciate the offer, but I know I will feel stressed out and a bit down being there for Christmas. We aren’t especially close, (in-laws and me). We only see them sporadically and they can be quite boisterous and high energy, especially when they’re all together, which I struggle with at the best of times.

My mum died suddenly and unexpectedly a few years ago on Christmas Eve, so Christmas can be a sad time for me anyway.

If it matters, we try to alternate years between in-laws and my family. It’s my family’s ‘turn’ this year, as we were with in-laws last year, but I won’t be able to fly to see them due to being too pregnant.

Anyway, the thing is that I know I might not feel like hanging out with my in-laws on Christmas this year.

I want to propose that we host brunch or drinks at our house in the morning and then just have Christmas dinner on our own. Or alternatively, that we just pop into SIL’s for a drink and exchange presents.

I don’t want to force DH into a quiet Christmas though and I think he sort of assumed we’d accept the invitation from SIL.

Helendee Wed 22-Nov-17 17:07:34

Can you maybe have a quiet Christmas Day at home and see family on Boxing Day? I think you should relax and pamper yourself on the day. I'm sure your DH will understand.
I miss my departed loved ones terribly over Christmas and usually go to the cemetery and chapel of rest on Christmas Eve and give a donation to charity in their memory.

ByThePowerOfRa Wed 22-Nov-17 17:09:17

Thanks helen. Donating to charity is a lovey idea. I think I’ll do that.

Helendee Wed 22-Nov-17 19:37:18

I hope it helps you.

Take good care of yourself and good luck with your new arrival. X

LoveProsecco Wed 22-Nov-17 20:02:20

At 8 months you will be heavily pregnant and potentially very emotional due to this plus your feelings about Christmas.

Due to this I think do whatever. Suits you & DH whether that's seeing them for a pre-agreed short time on Christmas Day or Boxing Day as a PP suggested.

At 8 months pregnant I was tired and very uncomfortable, so I would have wanted Christmas Day to be relaxing and in my own home. It's also your last Christmas as a couple before you become a family starthanks

ByThePowerOfRa Wed 22-Nov-17 20:29:13

Thanks both flowers.

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