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...or is there a lot of internalised misogyny on MN today?

(79 Posts)
wheresmymojo Tue 21-Nov-17 20:40:12

I feel like I've stepped into a parallel universe this evening where MN has been taken over by MRAs...

- Serena, the brand new mother, looks shit in her wedding dress

- Women are shit at holding discussions

- If as a woman you have any concerns at all about people with fully in fact penises accessing women's spaces just because they said 10 seconds before they are a woman you must be transphobic

There are more going on this evening...but seriously?

Am I being oversensitive or is it a bit woman hatey on here today?

RespoDad Tue 21-Nov-17 20:42:19

I love all women.

VioletHaze Tue 21-Nov-17 21:00:04

I'm not convinced it's internalised misogyny to have a different opinion to you. In general, I think the fact that there is a trans debate where it's apparently impossible for both sides to communicate without throwing around accusations about the other is massively unhelpful.

wheresmymojo Tue 21-Nov-17 21:48:36

I'm fine with people having different opinions, I wasn't commenting on that. More that immediately people were called hateful, old transphobics.

That's not sensible debate about different opinions.

dinosaursandtea Tue 21-Nov-17 21:50:29

But there is a LOT of transmisogyny on here. And frankly, it’s ruining things for those of us who are here to share experiences or talk about style and beauty - it’s the first time I’ve ever actively avoided the feminism section of a website. So much hate - it’s really depressing.

Incitatus Tue 21-Nov-17 21:50:57

MRA’s are like herpes. It fades into the background, but is prone to flare ups and you can never get rid of it.

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck Tue 21-Nov-17 21:52:35

Respo get back to our thread.

Incitatus Tue 21-Nov-17 21:52:51

I don’t want to talk about style and beauty. Does that make me a man? 🤔

dinosaursandtea Tue 21-Nov-17 21:54:58

Incitiatus Where did I say that it did? My point was that this should be a space of support, not bigotry.

KurriKurri Tue 21-Nov-17 21:56:16

I personally think that in the last maybe 18 months or some the amount of misogyny on MN has increased enormously.

Not perhaps in quantity but in vociferousness. I despair at some of the stuff I read on here sometimes, it's as if we are going backwards in time, there a weird kind of Stepford undercurrent on some threads that makes me think I've slipped into a parallel universe. I hope it isn't a reflection of society as a whole.

Probably not - MN is it's own special kind of barking as all get out - but I do worry occasionally.

I've actually thought of leaving on more than one occasion because of the misogyny, but then part of me thinks I should stay and fight it however futile that may be.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Tue 21-Nov-17 21:56:32

What is trans misogyny? (Genuine question)

Misogyny = hating women , I know that
So does transmisogyny = hating men?

Blahblahblahzeeblah Tue 21-Nov-17 21:57:00

This forum is totally overrun with trans discussions.

Justanotherlurker Tue 21-Nov-17 21:58:16

I think that the fact you frame the argument as being mysoginy does say more about you yes.

Sometimes alternative viewpoints are just that, if you view things through a political feminist perspective everything can be mysoginistic, alternatively, sometimes it's just a different viewpoint that doesn't need to be filtered through such a lense and not blame a bogeyman of MRA's

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Tue 21-Nov-17 21:58:18

°This forum is totally overrun with trans discussions^

I guess it must be a popular topic,Iike what sex does my scan show, or parking topics grin

dinosaursandtea Tue 21-Nov-17 21:58:56

Transmisogyny is hating trans women - so misogyny plus that little bit extra. Misogynoir is often used to refer to the sexism laced with racism that black women of colour face.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Tue 21-Nov-17 22:00:56

Thanks dinosaur I sometimes struggle with which meaning of trans I should be applying.

Justanotherlurker Tue 21-Nov-17 22:03:10

Also as an aside, it really isn't MRA's that are pushing the trans rights narrative, your trying to kill 2 birds with one stone here.

I'm not getting into the shit show that is trans rights as its crazies on both sides shouting at each other highlighting the extremes on both sides.

But LOL at trying to conflate the two

wheresmymojo Tue 21-Nov-17 22:20:32

I was being tongue-in-cheek about it being MRAs...hence why I called it internalised misogyny.

I don't actually think any of the threads I've seen have been infiltrated by MRAs, which is why it's actually (IMO) more depressing.

MinervaSaidThar Tue 21-Nov-17 22:26:37

Yes, there's the thread where people are calling the OP a twat for not opening her home to her 23yo step daughter, even though her behaviour sounds awful.

And the one where people had a go at OP for stealth boasting, just because she's raised a smart, independent teenage daughter and doesn't want her SIL to criticise her daughter.

And the one where OP is getting flak for not wanting her DH's niece to stay, even though they hardly have a relationship with her and her behaviour is awful.

KurriKurri Tue 21-Nov-17 22:42:49

Minerva It is those (and the one where Op is getting hard time because she doesn't want to be forced to go to the funeral of a man she didn't like) that creep me out a bit and inspired my 'Stepford' comment.
It feels as if it is all about women being seen to do the 'correct' thing and to basically pretend to be someone they are not, because that's what women should do. Better to be a hypocrite and do what you are told than be an upset the status quo.

It is this strange clucking outrage about supposedly stepping out of line regarding traditional women's roles - child rearing etc - that makes me wonder whether we are going backwards. (But as I said - more likely a special MN lunacy that doesn't exist in the real world)

MinervaSaidThar Tue 21-Nov-17 23:06:36

I agree Kurri, it creeps me out too.

I really hope that those posts don't have a negative impact on the OPs and other women in similar situations reading these threads.

It seems a lot of posters see things in black and white without making allowances or seeing the nuances, and unfortunately women seem to bear the brunt of this.

malcomTucker Wed 22-Nov-17 01:29:11

Bore off OP.

malcomTucker Wed 22-Nov-17 01:30:35

Actually, I missed your comment about a public internet forum for parents being 'infiltrated by men'. It's enlightening.

StatelessPrincess Wed 22-Nov-17 03:09:21

yanbu OP.

RogueBiscuit Wed 22-Nov-17 03:18:56

Dinosaurs, it's been said many times, if you are seeing trans misogyny and bigotry you need to report it. People who accuse others of bigotry often don't see the irony of it.

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