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'Jokey remarks... EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!

(178 Posts)
Wanderlust1984 Tue 21-Nov-17 13:05:42

I work for a company where I'm based in a few different locations. I have flexi time so as long as I do my hours, I can pretty much start and finish when I want. I use it to take my DD to school a few times a week, it's a brill perk of the job and really comes in handy. I'm currently on a project where I'm in a shared project office based with a few people who work for our main contractor on this project. They usually start very early, around 6-7am. They're on flexi time too and most of them like the early finish. Also sometimes I'll have meetings elsewhere then head to the project office afterwards.

There's one bloke who comments EVERY FUCKING DAY, regardless of what time I start. Like today, I was in at 7am (not particularly unusual) and when he seen me he dramatically stopped in his tracks, held his hand over his heart and exclaimed "sorry, it's the shock of seeing you before 10am!". Or it's 'good afternoon' if I go in after the school run or a meeting held elsewhere. If I've been working from home for a day (something that's again, in my contract and really handy if I need to just get my head down and get a report finish or the likes. If I tell hi his he sniggers and says 'Yeah, working from home' with inverted commas on the 'working'.

Now I can take a joke, but it's getting to the point I'm losing it with him. My working hours are none of his business, his company are doing work for the company I work for! My line managers trust me an know if never take the piss. I've tried saying things like 'jokes get old ya know' and ignoring him but he then calls me grumpy.

Am I being ultra sensitive or is it ok that I feel like punching him in the nose???

shutitandtidyupgitface Tue 21-Nov-17 13:09:30

Just tell him straight up: "your jokes are not funny and I find them insulting and offensive. Stop making remarks about me or I will take this further"

StormTreader Tue 21-Nov-17 13:10:00

Try and get in first, the second you see him

"Here he is, the time police, weee-oooo weee-ooo! I bet you've been looking out for me again today, havent you - how am I doing? You should get one of those big clocks around your neck like that rapper used to have! You can finally get on with your day now you dont have to worry about whether you'll see me or not!"

Dizzybacon Tue 21-Nov-17 13:12:19

I'm a construction QS for a main contractor and if one of our sub contractors continued to make comments like that he would be told to mind his own fucking business and concentrate on finishing his contract. Then i would going for blood if they were one day over programme!

Willow2017 Tue 21-Nov-17 13:14:36

Just tell him "Grow up you attention seeking manchild." Then ignore him after that no matter what performance he puts on.

Would seriously piss me off to.

toomuchtooold Tue 21-Nov-17 13:23:03

What about if you were to be dead serious with him? "You make a lot of comments about my working hours. Are you genuinely concerned that I'm cheating the company by working short hours? Because otherwise I'd like you to stop making these jokes, because I don't want other people picking up the impression that I'm lazy."

oldlaundbooth Tue 21-Nov-17 13:26:29

Just give it back to him.

outout Tue 21-Nov-17 13:27:46

A colleague of mine once decided to make a flippant remark about my flexible working arrangement. I casually threw the word ‘discrimination’ in his direction and lo and behold, he shut the fuck up.

FizzyGreenWater Tue 21-Nov-17 13:28:01

Make a sign and hold it up silently next time he comments:

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT FLEXI TIME MEANS?
If you can read this sign, there's still a chance you could learn!
CALL 0898-UNFUNNY-NOB FOR DETAILS

ZaphodBeeblerox Tue 21-Nov-17 13:33:27

I’d definitely call him out on it. I like the time police suggestion above if you feel like being jokey, but I have no sense of humour about these things (and am exasperated by the view that I should laugh and smile when I’m being insulted every day).

I would probably privately just say “you keep bringing up my working hours and schedules as a ‘joke’, but they’re not really funny - they’re passive aggressive digs. Are you concerned I’m cheating the company by not working as much as I’m being paid for? If so that’s an issue to bring up with your manager. If not, then I suggest you stop with the unfunny jokes because they’re persistently aimed at me and I’ll be forced to take it further”

ElspethFlashman Tue 21-Nov-17 13:33:32

Start calling him "HR". He won't like that.

If someone else uses their flexi, nod towards him "Have you checked with HR?"

Then if he gets annoyed, "omg, it's only a joke chill out! It's just cos of your thing about the hours people do, relax!"

tallwivglasses Tue 21-Nov-17 13:34:03

PLEASE do fizzy's 😂

whoareyoukidding Tue 21-Nov-17 13:34:36

I think it's an example of one of the ways that men seek to take power from women by cracking 'jokes' about them. This from shutit sounds good to me:
Just tell him straight up: "your jokes are not funny and I find them insulting and offensive. Stop making remarks about me or I will take this further"

Whatsoccuringlovely Tue 21-Nov-17 13:35:24

shutit

Sensible advice take it op.

TrojansAreSmegheads Tue 21-Nov-17 13:36:45

yes, i get it. you dont understand what flexi time means. tee hee . very funny.

Clovertoast Tue 21-Nov-17 13:37:32

Dont joke back. He isn't joking with you. He is making passive aggressive comments because it clearly bothers him !!!
Jealousy thats's what it is. He thinks you are getting something he isn't.
It happens at my place a lot !

I would do as toomuchtoold suggests and go in seriously with " You make a lot of comments about my working hours. Are you genuinely concerned that I'm cheating the company by working short hours? Because otherwise I'd like you to stop making these jokes, because I don't want other people picking up the impression that I'm lazy."

RatRolyPoly Tue 21-Nov-17 13:38:32

"Aww, maybe after your next promotion you'll be allowed to work flexi. Bless you."

Actually if it were me I'd just lose it. But I guarantee he'd stop!

UrsulaPandress Tue 21-Nov-17 13:38:39

Pound to a penny he will then turn it back on you for having no sense of humour.

Tosser.

TheLegendOfBeans Tue 21-Nov-17 13:40:00

I had a not dissimilar thing at a job once, I found that delivering a wide-eyed “wow, what’s the interest? Are you running a book on me or something?” followed by a shit-eating grin and subsequent glide-off actually worked.

He never did it again.

TheLegendOfBeans Tue 21-Nov-17 13:40:49

PS: @UrsulaPandress has it dead on. Either way though, he’s more likely than not to disnegage. Win-win.

viques Tue 21-Nov-17 13:42:19

Do the Puzzled and Confused thing, and ask him to explain. "I'm sorry x, I don't understand? Why are you surprised to see me ?" " I'm sorry, x , is there a problem with me working from home." If he mutters something about banter /jokes / office humour then pursue it " oh I understand about banter /jokes/office humour x, but since you comment on my work times every day I thought there must be more to it."

Make him work for it.

Jaxhog Tue 21-Nov-17 13:42:29

Ignore him, or just sigh/roll your eyes when he says anything. He's a bully and looking to get a rise out of you. ANY response will just keep him going. If you ignore him, he'll move on to someone else.

expatinscotland Tue 21-Nov-17 13:42:41

What Zaphod said. I'd start logging every one of his remarks, too.

MynewnameisKy Tue 21-Nov-17 13:43:59

I would raise it with your line manager. If he is a contractor he should have more wit. Contractors can be moved on pretty easily.

ChuffMuffin Tue 21-Nov-17 13:45:43

Next time he pipes up with that just say "jesus christ mate do you ever say anything else? Same old shit every time I come in".

But I really, really, REALLY want you to do Fizzy's sign grin

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