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To not invite anyone over at Christmas

(24 Posts)
Squirrels765 Tue 21-Nov-17 10:45:25

Ok so aibu or not
I work in retail, I have 3 days off at Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day, I will be working full days apart from these 3 days off, I also have 3 kids.
Last year I was in the same situation, I invited all my family and in laws over at various times over Christmas and new year, we did not receive any invites back
This year I only have those 3 days and don't feel like entertaining others when I feel like we should be relaxing
For perspective my family consists of 4 people who are retired, BIL who has 2 weeks off over Christmas, sister who works as a dinner lady so has the Christmas holidays off, an uncle who also has 2 weeks off
I'm the only one working, so aibu to not invite anyone this year?

Shiftymake Tue 21-Nov-17 10:52:06

No your time is precious, others can do the inviting this year, relax and enjoy your holiday!

Squirrels765 Tue 21-Nov-17 10:54:19

Thanks, I feel a bit mean, but I hate being the host anyway, I just feel like I don't have much time, maybe suggesting a meal out on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day could be a compromise?

coconutpie Tue 21-Nov-17 10:55:24

YANBU. You have 3 precious days off - use them for you and DC, not for hosting ungrateful guests.

Fadingmemory Tue 21-Nov-17 10:57:56

No you are not being unreasonable. If there is more to this (and only guessing) for eg the cooking is too much, you hate it, you would rather eat salad or burgers on the day just say no nicely. If you do decide to relent, ask the others to contribute cake, pudding, snacks etc and also help in the kitchen. If you just want a slobby day on the sofa with your children just enjoy that/go to the park/play games/sleep while they play with their toys or whatever else, just do it! You can see family another time perhaps although in retail you may have little time off with the sales etc --in shops that aren't already having them. If the guilt card is played just explain that you are too exhausted to entertain to the standard you would like and say that you found last year too much.

Lots of threads on here where people are tying themselves in knots trying to please everyone. Don't. This year please yourself. Whatever you decide, I hope you enjoy it!

Daisym45 Tue 21-Nov-17 11:02:29

Let them do the inviting. I would definitely want to relax if I only had 3 days off.

Justbookedasummmerholiday Tue 21-Nov-17 11:03:32

Just remind folks that you did the hosting last year!!

KC225 Tue 21-Nov-17 11:06:49

It's your Christmas too and you did it last year. Enjoy your family Christmas OP you can see the family some other time.

Aeroflotgirl Tue 21-Nov-17 11:07:55

No let others do the inviting and entertaining. Don't be a doormat.

Aeroflotgirl Tue 21-Nov-17 11:09:15

If you suggest a meal out, they might expect you to pay.

BetterThanAPokeInTheEye Tue 21-Nov-17 11:10:24

It's your christmas. Do what makes you happy. I like nothing better than to shut the front door and have some quality family time. We usually see people around new years instead.

livefornaps Tue 21-Nov-17 11:11:09

No, you've done your year, thank you very much!

PJs on and relax

MsGameandWatching Tue 21-Nov-17 11:11:15

We don't see anyone at Christmas. I spent years hammering up the motorway to family on Boxing Day or the day after. Ex H insisted on spending actual Christmas Day at home so everything had to fit in just before or just after. Sick of it. My parents are not the easiest of people and it was getting ridiculous going up there to a tense atmosphere. So now we refuse all Christmas invites and have a lovely peaceful time at home. It's lovely.

Squirrels765 Tue 21-Nov-17 11:21:57

Glad I'm not being unreasonable
I'd rather stay in my pjs until noon eating a selection pack for breakfast and "cooking" my Christmas dinner from tescos frozen range (hate cooking and have never attempted a real turkey)
My parents got rid of their dining table despite being in a bungalow with now 3 bedrooms (2 unused) and a conservatory with no where to eat, they also only have 2, 2 seater sofas in the lounge, DH said they have done it on purpose so they can't invite anyone
We have the smallest house, on the lowest income in the family, yet try to accommodate everyone
I hate cooking, hate having people over and tidying up after, as well as the cost

SecretSmellies Tue 21-Nov-17 11:24:24

As a child who suffered through years of family christmasses that everyone got stressed about I say you should do exactly what you want. No guilt.

Longtime Tue 21-Nov-17 11:33:37

Maybe contact them and say “so whose turn is it to host this year”?

ragdoll700 Tue 21-Nov-17 11:46:54

I have 2 days off Christmas day and St Stephen's day (in ireland smile) we really want to stay home on our own too with no need to leave the house even going to services on Christmas eve so we can be home Christmas day so no do it as you want it, my nephews are older and still talk about the Christmas they had on their own with their parents but that's possibly because they had just moved and none of them being a fan of xmas dinner my sis let them choose what they wanted for dinner and they had pizza with steak for the adults.

Allthebestnamesareused Tue 21-Nov-17 11:47:55

Its just us 3 this year and its going to be great!

cherrycola2004 Tue 21-Nov-17 12:18:39

YANBU at all!

hellswelshy Tue 21-Nov-17 12:54:08

Yanbu. We always host too, and again never seem to get invites back! So this year we are eating out on Christmas Eve (cheaper than Christmas day) and having buffet food on the actual day - we can't wait!!

HebeJeeby Tue 21-Nov-17 14:57:30

Do you actually want to see your family, or are you stressing about it due to a misguided notion that we should be with family at Xmas? Are your family bothered seeing as no-one appears to have issued any invites with about 5 weeks to go? Have this time to yourself and your children.
We had Xmas on our own 2 years ago and it was the best Xmas ever, so relaxing and enjoyable. We’re doing it again this year and I can’t wait.

girlywhirly Tue 21-Nov-17 15:49:49

I’d send a message around to all of them saying that just to let them know in advance, due to only having 3 days off work this Christmas, you will not be hosting this year so they are free to make other arrangements. Then they can’t say they weren’t warned. If anyone replies, you remind that you did Christmas last year, and that you want to spend the 3 days that you have got off work with DH and DC.

Even those who love Christmas and entertaining need time off t some point.

Squirrels765 Tue 21-Nov-17 15:55:11

I’m not that bothered about seeing anyone really, my sister is always miserable, her kids are a bit of a pain, I think my parents are expecting an invite for Christmas Lunch but I really don’t want to host on Christmas Day at all
My dad sort of said “well we alternate on Christmas Day” but they always go to my sisters or stay home, I’ve only invited them once on Christmas Day and I didn’t really enjoy it
They never invite anyone on Christmas Day despite being retired and having a big enough house (but no dining table 🙄)

SilverSpot Tue 21-Nov-17 15:55:39

Totally reasonable.

"Oh, we're just having a small quiet xmas day as I only have 3 days off. Happy to come to your house and see you if oyu fancy hosting a boxing day meet up."

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