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When people read your message but don't reply

(130 Posts)
mrssunshinexxx Tue 21-Nov-17 08:05:06

It's my absolute pet hate you know when you see th little blue ticks and no they have read it but choose not to reply. I know sometimes you don't always have time to reply but then hours... a day or 2 goes by and still nothing and you feel a pest for chasing it up?!

Wolfiefan Tue 21-Nov-17 08:06:37

Depends who it is, why you're contacting them and how often you do so.

Inarutneedhelp Tue 21-Nov-17 08:08:36

It’s worse when they don’t even open it and you know they have been online

splendidisolation Tue 21-Nov-17 08:09:15

No I'm the opposite, amd I hate feeling the unspokeb pressure radiating from people like yourself, no offence!
Read messages and ticks are the bane of my life.

I'll reply when I feel like replying to you and not before. Equally, I dont care when others reply to me. If something is urgent I call them.

Scuttlefunge Tue 21-Nov-17 08:09:20

See this is why I don’t send read receipts, nor does my messenger account show I’m online. I like people don’t get me wrong but I like to reply in my own time smile

ReasonableLlama Tue 21-Nov-17 08:09:40

Depends what the other person is doing. I quite often read a message and forget for a few days.

How important is the message? Does the person have form for not replying to messages?

I have one friend who reads my “hi how are you” type messages and ignores them for a few days but is happily updating FB or twitter or whatever. I’m in the process of phasing him out TBH not that he’ll notice

splendidisolation Tue 21-Nov-17 08:13:54

@ReasonableLlama
Those messages stress me out. You dont know how many other people are sending them similar messages. Its just irritating.
"Hi how are you?"
"Good how are you?"
"Good"
X 30
OK then!

General (and also quite lazy when you think about it) messages like that I dont send and dont bother to reply to.

Try being a bit more specific. "Hey what did you end up doing about X/how did things go with Y" that type of thing.

And then, just realise that some people dont feel the need for regular contact like that. Its not personal.

StickThatInYourPipe Tue 21-Nov-17 08:14:44

I hate the last online and read receipt function. It’s so stalkery!

N0tNowBernard Tue 21-Nov-17 08:18:25

Yes! There's someone in our family who regularly asks for favours which we help with where we can (childcare mainly.)

She will send a message and if we reply and agree to the favour, she replies straight away. If for any reason we say No on that occasion, she will just not reply at all. Not even to say thanks anyway.

Or if you send her a message about anything at all she generally doesn't reply (and you can see she's online!) She only seems to reply if you're agreeing to help her out.

BMW6 Tue 21-Nov-17 08:18:32

They will reply IF and WHEN they want to OP!
Stop being so pushy and demanding FGS.

pasturesgreen Tue 21-Nov-17 08:19:20

It depends m I hardly ever open messages (text or fb, I'm not on WhatsApp) immediately as I don't like to then get into the long back and forth exchange that would invariably ensue.

Much better to read it after a bit and reply at my leisure. It's hardly ever a life and death situation, most things can wait an hour or so, and I offend people like you, OP, well, I'll try and live with it.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions Tue 21-Nov-17 08:20:50

Depends what the text is. If it's just thinking of you/this piece of information/I'll be home at whatever time/can you do me a favour/do you want to meet up at some point. Then it doesn't even need a reply, don't even expect one. If they are going to answer then then they'll answer in their own time.

If it's a direct question about something that you need a response in a time frame then yes that can be annoying.

MummaMinnie Tue 21-Nov-17 08:23:40

I agree splendid

Guavaf1sh Tue 21-Nov-17 08:24:39

The blue tick system is so annoying for this very reason. It sows disharmony and suspicion amongst those with relaxed attitudes such as some of the responders above and those with micromanagement issues such as the OP

Notreallyarsed Tue 21-Nov-17 08:26:06

Oh I fucking hate the ticks/delivered/read things, I turn them off whenever I can.

BewareOfDragons Tue 21-Nov-17 08:26:51

My pet hate is people who complain that I didn't reply to their message right away ... after all ... they can see the blue tick that I read it!

Why? Because I work in a school and yes, I might take a quick look at my phone from time to time when messages come up, but that doesn't mean I have time to respond to messages that are social and not emergencies!! I would like to keep my job, thank you very much.

RebeccatheOld Tue 21-Nov-17 08:27:18

Maybe, just maybe, they've read your message but don't have time to reply just then.

If you want an instant reply ring them.

missyB1 Tue 21-Nov-17 08:27:21

unfortunately both my adult sons do this to me, very annoying and sometimes quite hurtful.

Rebeccaslicker Tue 21-Nov-17 08:29:55

I saw a cartoon called "a modern tragedy" which showed a text message saying something along the lines of "I had a great night, would love to see you again", then the three dots of doom... then nothing!

If I still had a paper clip icon I'd try and post it but mine has vanished confused

Sensimilla Tue 21-Nov-17 08:30:23

People don't have time to be replying to messages all the time. People have to work, talk to the people they are actually WITH etc

CodeineAndCornflakes Tue 21-Nov-17 08:30:37

Read messages and ticks are the bane of my life. I'll reply when I feel like replying to you and not before. Equally, I dont care when others reply to me. If something is urgent I call them

^this.

I hate the way social media and mobiles have trapped us with the 'convenience' of being contactable at all times.

ReasonableLlama Tue 21-Nov-17 08:32:24

*Splendid
*
Good point but to be fair the messages I send are more substantial than just “hi how are you” - was just using an example.

Shadow666 Tue 21-Nov-17 08:34:43

I also on the other side of the fence. Mondays are manic for me, getting 4 kids ready for school and myself off to work, there's always a million things to do and I often get a bit stressed. Friend always texts me a "Hi, how's it going?" type of text on Monday mornings and then gets annoyed when I've read it but still not replied by lunchtime.

chipscheeseandcurrysauce Tue 21-Nov-17 08:36:06

I either forget to reply, write a reply but forget to press send or I just can’t be bothered to reply.

Nyx1 Tue 21-Nov-17 08:40:26

if it's not work etc then you sound very demanding!

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