My partner and I are supposed to move in together but I now wake up because of their teeth grinding and snoring everytime we share a bed. I actually cannot sleep next to them anymore and I'm at the end of my tether.
Aibu to break up because of this? I feel like if they move in with me I feel like I will be trading comfortable sleep for the relationship and I just don't think I can spend the rest of my life not getting a decent night's sleep.
I've been asking them to get a mouthguard for months now and they still have not done it.
Wondering if I'm being unreasonable and if anyone else has been in this position found that a moutguard for their partner actually helped with the noise level?
I’m a grinder. I have a guard - you can’t even see it when it’s in, the dentist made it so fits perfectly to my teeth. It’s hugely important for his dental and jaw health that he gets something done.
YANBU. If he cares so little about your sleep that he’s unwilling to do this then IMO he doesn’t respect you and YANBU to consider ending the relationship because of that lack of consideration and respect.
It seems like an extreme reason to actually end an otherwise healthy relationship over, so I’m guessing there might be more going on for you to be considering that. But I’d absolutely decline to share a bed with someone if I couldn’t sleep well with them there! That’s what guest rooms/sofa beds are for. Blow up mattress in the living room at a pinch. The rest of the relationship could carry on as normal, there’s no law saying you have to share a bed!
Does your partner realise how big an issue this is for you - I’d start with saying you’re not sharing a bed until they try a guard maybe. You can’t force someone to do something, but you can choose your own actions.
But really, is this the only flaw in the relationship that you’d actually end things over it rather than just say they’re not sleeping in your bed unless you can sleep too?
My ex refused this and the snoring was a big factor in my breakup as I was constantly kept awake yet there were arguments if I went to sleep in the spare room. It drove me up the wall not being able to sleep or having an argument because I’d slept elsewhere. Apparently if I nudged then they’d stop snoring but it only lasted about 10 minutes, yet I was the unreasonable one for not wanting to nudge someone every 10 minutes all night to get some sleep....
So I’d say this is a very real issue if they will not agree to a mouth guard or separate bedrooms.
Oh Honey, I get it. My husband's snoring is legendary. That's bad, but he ALSO grinds his teeth AND he's a snuggler who likes to use the back of my head as a pillow. The teeth grinding sounds like someone slaughtering puppies when it's right next to your ear. I "accidentally" punched him in the balls when I was pregnant.
The teeth grinding itself wouldn’t be the thing. The refusal to even try a mouth guard would be.
However, if all else is good in the relationship, I’d give him an ultimatum and let him know how this is making you feel, both in terms of sleep deprivation and him procrastinating over getting a guard . If he genuinely cares about you, he’ll get one.