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Am i being unreasonable?

(20 Posts)
inmyshoos Mon 20-Nov-17 20:40:01

Separated and I have the dc and our 2 family dogs. Is it unreasonable to think that when I am away with dc exh looks after them? I'm talking weekends when he doesn't work. He lives 3 miles away.

Pissed me off that he just washes his hands of them (amongst other things!!) They're his bloody dogs too.

MaidOfStars Mon 20-Nov-17 21:38:33

What does he say when you ask him to take the dogs?

DJBaggySmalls Mon 20-Nov-17 21:40:58

Technically you're right, but don't inflict him on the dogs if he doesn't want them.
Get him a Christmas card in aid of Dogs Trust every year.

Paperdolly Mon 20-Nov-17 21:41:14

Would The Cinnamon Trust help you? Although it should really be your exH’s responsibility. 🙄

inmyshoos Mon 20-Nov-17 21:44:03

I've asked him before and offered he can stay at my house. I've left food for him. Then he walks them but then takes the food off to his house and leaves the dogs over night from 6pm ish untilthe next morning around 9. One of our dogs is 13 and starting to get a bit of urinary incontinence which makes this all the more unacceptable. When I ask him to take them to his house he just says yeah I might but then doesn't.

SuperBeagle Mon 20-Nov-17 21:51:23

He's being neglectful. Don't subject the poor dogs to his selfishness/incompetence. It'll just have to be something you fork out for when you go away.

inmyshoos Mon 20-Nov-17 22:01:12

Ive been paying a dog walker but its so expensive. Just feeling hard done to. sad
Stuck in an area with no job opportunities for me other than crap minimum wage part time unskilled soul destroying work whilst he swans around the country suiting himself and building his career. And from my wage of less than 100 quid a week I now have to pay a dog walker while that useless bastard is 3 miles away sitting on his arse hmm

Paperdolly Mon 20-Nov-17 23:20:02

Ask him for the money for the walker?

inmyshoos Mon 20-Nov-17 23:26:26

No way he'd pay

Paperdolly Mon 20-Nov-17 23:36:31

Any other family to help? I know...why should they. His parents?

LolaTheDarkdestroyer Mon 20-Nov-17 23:40:00

Did you choose to keep the dogs?

AuntieBeast Tue 21-Nov-17 00:47:55

I would never want my dogs with someone who was unenthusiastic about watching them. hmm

condepetie Tue 21-Nov-17 00:49:56

Dogs aren't children and if he doesn't care about them then he's allowed to wash his hands of them. If he was asking for access when it suited him it'd be different, but it sounds like he wants nothing to do with them, in which case they're not his dogs, they're yours.

inmyshoos Tue 21-Nov-17 15:52:36

Well condi he chose the bloody things!! Great to just be able to walk away from your responsibilities! Dip in and out of what you fancy.

lola it was assumed I'd keep the dogs as he works full time and I'm happy to keep them, I love them. But it would be a better situation if he could help out with them occasionally.

He is clearly doing as little as possible to punish me and as some sort of demonstration of how much I need him

Justbookedasummmerholiday Tue 21-Nov-17 15:57:59

No neighbouring teen /sahp you could ask for help? Personally would give up my job than ask twat exh for owt!!

Whatsoccuringlovely Tue 21-Nov-17 16:01:19

What a selfish bastard. Could you advertiser around for a local teen to help out? My 17 year old dd would love this.

Thesmallthings Tue 21-Nov-17 16:19:01

Ybu. There not children. He doesn't need to see ir pay for them.

If you don't want them give them to him as he chose em.

inmyshoos Tue 21-Nov-17 16:24:26

thesmallthings he doesn't want them and can't look after them as work involves some over night stays
They're not children but just like children, he can choose not to be involved. His choice and his loss. Im just pissed off that he doesnt care about them. I find it hard to understand how people can just choose to cut themselves off from something they once cared for and loved. Makes me question who he is.

Thesmallthings Tue 21-Nov-17 16:35:53

I get that.. If he wanted them he should Have took them.

Personally I'd tell them I'm rehoming them so if he wants them he needs to say now. But iv never wanted a dog (I habe a phobia of dogs and young children together) and my ex husband brought one home after id just moved country with a new born and a 3 year old so I may be projecting.

But if you want to keep them inthink you need to think if them as yours not the ex's at all

c3pu Tue 21-Nov-17 16:43:37

I'd tell him I'd be rehoming them in a week if he wants them...

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