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To think you often get a better discussion with men?

(168 Posts)
splendidisolation Mon 20-Nov-17 17:52:12

I've been noticing this fairly often recently.

It seems easier to get into debates/quite in depth discussion about politics or ideas, more conceptual/abstract stuff with men than it does women.

Obviously my female friends are like this, that's why we're friends! I'm talking about casual encounters, random people you meet through events or friends of friends.

At least, it seems more frequent or easier to go down the path of having those more "pondering" discussions with a lot of the men I come across, whereas with women it tends to focus on their families, or past relationships, music, books, clothes, travel etc. More "real life" stuff.

Have you noticed this, and if you have, why is it?

Braceface Mon 20-Nov-17 17:54:25


Because women are so fucking knackered?

MrsFionaCharming Mon 20-Nov-17 17:56:41

Whereas you’re special and different and ‘not like other girls’?

Lambside Mon 20-Nov-17 17:57:05

Just noticed the opposite with DP.
Does that help?

Bunchofdahlias Mon 20-Nov-17 17:57:48

No, I haven't, unless you count men who seek out a deep and meaningful as a window to my soul*.


FaFoutis Mon 20-Nov-17 17:58:01

No, I haven't noticed that.

rosareine Mon 20-Nov-17 17:58:30


ladyvimes Mon 20-Nov-17 17:59:00

Perhaps women just don’t like you so can’t be bothered.

Japanese Mon 20-Nov-17 17:59:26

No, I really, really haven't.

Fosterdog123 Mon 20-Nov-17 17:59:32

Yes, all women are the same. We're just one big homogeneous mass acting in exactly the same way.

bellasuewow Mon 20-Nov-17 17:59:37

I have noticed the complete opposite op, except in your case.

Lellikelly26 Mon 20-Nov-17 18:00:25

I talk about politics etc with some girl friends with others we share our moans and have a laugh. Both are great. Life doesn’t need to be heavy all the time there is a need for a bit of lightness. We’re only here for a short time and there is a place for the trivial and fun as well as the serious stuff.

Nomoresugar Mon 20-Nov-17 18:00:55

Confirmation bias. You've already decided that men are better so you down grade a woman's argument over an mans.

ScreamingValenta Mon 20-Nov-17 18:01:43

No, I haven't experienced this.

I think the type of conversation you have can often depend on the lead you give. Perhaps you are (unconsciously) leading the women you meet towards 'real life' conversations, and men towards the abstract because you formed that expectation at some earlier stage in your life.

antimatter Mon 20-Nov-17 18:02:08

no, I haven't

AlternativeTentacle Mon 20-Nov-17 18:02:09

Totally the opposite. I have my best political discussions with women.

Pagwatch Mon 20-Nov-17 18:02:24

No. I haven't noticed that.
If I engage with women about chit chat I get chit chat
If I engage with men about chit chat I get chit chat.
Exactly the same if I engage about politics, economics, current affairs Brexit art theatre etc etc.

Could it be that you unconsciously dumb down or limit you topic choices because you have this perception so you are kind of creating that which you predict?

thenewaveragebear1983 Mon 20-Nov-17 18:02:35

I find when I start discussing politics, environmental issues and religion, and y'know, conceptual stuff at toddler club and at rhythm and rhyme, the other mums look at me like confused

<I jest, I'm too knackered to talk to anyone about anything>

Maybe it's about timing and circumstance, more than anything. My Dh is more likely to talk about these things in a social situation because I'm looking after the children which means he actually can. Most of my conversations with other mums are centred largely around the dc, because the dc are there. It's largely small talk, except with my real friends who, like you, I can talk the deep stuff with. Sometimes it can alienate people if someone wants a really deep philosophical debate.

SeparatedByMotorways Mon 20-Nov-17 18:02:38

I can't imagine I would have much patience having an "in depth discussiom" with a woman who appears to dislike women, so perhaps you personally do have better conversations with men. I'd hazard that is a reflection on you though, not women in general.

mumonashoestring Mon 20-Nov-17 18:02:48

Gawd no. In terms of immediate/frequent conversations DH takes debate too personally, his stepfather is a bizarre combination of naive and staggeringly rigid on certain topics, DF knows what he knows and isn't really interested in wanging on about endless topics for the sake of it, BIL likes talking about football and dogs...

Far more of the women I know can easily switch between politics, shopping, economics, theology, recipes, history, mythology, archetypes, psychology...

Lweji Mon 20-Nov-17 18:02:58

Men tend to mansplain and think they know it all.
You can certainly discuss interesting topics but not necessarily have interesting discussions.

Cabininthewoods69 Mon 20-Nov-17 18:03:00

No not noticed. I am however clearly not as special as you, im just a normal female so wouldnt notice. Anyway hows the family

TheHeraldOfAndraste Mon 20-Nov-17 18:04:13

Hmm. I wonder, why you would come to a forum with a largely female demographic to announce this opinion?

DJBaggySmalls Mon 20-Nov-17 18:04:40

Men love talking about abstract stuff. So much easier than talking about feelings or personal stuff.

Ttbb Mon 20-Nov-17 18:04:47

I am guilty of this myself now that I think about it. I rarely engage in conversations with people that I do not know well, if I do I keep it very mundane, I always shy away from polarising discussions because I'm not keen confrontation (I have an impulse to either completely desimate or openly mock people who irritate me which often happens during these kinds of discussions)

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