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Aibu ... cousin never makes an effort to see me

(13 Posts)
LittleMissUnreasonable Mon 20-Nov-17 17:14:50

Aibu?
I live in a major city in the UK and she lives about 40 minutes train ride away in a slightly smaller city. Her long distance dp lives in the same city as me. I've been here now about 4 years.

She goes to visit DP in the city I live in at least 2 weekends a month and spends a lot of time there. Aibu to be offended she has never come to visit me in all the time I've lived here. We get on very well when we see each other but we rarely do as she doesn't initiate any effort. I've suggested meeting up with her and I am always met with "yeah we totally need to go out for shopping/drinks/food" but then she never messages me when she's in thr city. I don't want to pester her but kind of think because I live here then she should be the one to inform me whenever she's about of she truely wants to meet up.

Aibu to be a bit hurt to see photos of her around the town centre about 2 miles from where I live constantly going on Facebook and am thinking about hiding her posts because it's so frequent. blushsad

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 20-Nov-17 17:18:34

This wouldn’t bother me at all, happens frequently as I live in the same city as all my cousins. However I’m not particularly close to my cousins nor do I wish to be.

Vitalogy Mon 20-Nov-17 17:32:30

I can understand the hurt, but what can really be done, I don't think you can force it. I'd keep the communication lines open. Then get on with your own thing.

Allthebestnamesareused Mon 20-Nov-17 17:35:51

Maybe its because her DP is a long distance DP that she wants to spend time with him or her when she gets the chance.

Perhaps you should arrange to visit her in her city which as you say is only a 40 minute train ride away when she is not spending time with her DP (which I assume to her is precious).

Hellomaryimback Mon 20-Nov-17 17:36:59

She's just not that in to you...

She wants to see her bloke .

LittleMissUnreasonable Mon 20-Nov-17 17:51:56

Thanks for the replies guyssmile

I was wondering about her wanting to see her DP which is more than reasonable but not even 1 coffee over 4 years is a little sad sad

Justgivemesomepeace Mon 20-Nov-17 17:56:12

I live maybe 20 mins from my cousins. We only see each other at family occasions. When we do we get in brilliantly and have a really good time. We occasionally bump into each other shopping and have a matter but that's as far as it goes. None of us mind and none of us seem to want to take the relatinship further. Just because your related doesn't mean you're going to be close friends.

MrsPicklesonSmythe Mon 20-Nov-17 18:05:47

I don't see my cousins from one year to the next and I'm not bothered I'm not that into them.
She sounds the same.

Glumglowworm Mon 20-Nov-17 18:15:24

I wouldn't recognise most of my cousins if I walked past them in the street so I'm probably not the best person to ask

But she wants to see her DP, who she only sees every couple of weeks. You're lower down her list of priorities which tbh is fine and normal.

Lweji Mon 20-Nov-17 18:18:41

So, DP... Is that for parents or partner?
I'm guessing parents.
Regardless, more important than you. Just accept she's not that bothered about you and keep it casual to those random family events.

LittleMissUnreasonable Mon 20-Nov-17 19:55:13

lweji ^So, DP... Is that for parents or partner?
I'm guessing parents. ^

Dp stands for partner not parents. She lives with her parents

ButchyRestingFace Mon 20-Nov-17 19:57:51

No, it wouldn't upset me. You're obviously not close. Good that you get on well enough when you do see each other. smile

DancesWithOtters Mon 20-Nov-17 20:02:41

If she only sees her DP once a fortnight she probably wants to have as much time with him as she can. LDRs are hard.

Why don’t you ask if you can visit her when she’s not visiting him? I don’t think it’s unusual to prioritise her time with him in your city if they only get 4 days a month.

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