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I would rather not receive any gifts then useless stuff!

(7 Posts)
PonyPals Mon 20-Nov-17 02:07:31

I don’t think I am being unreasonable and it is certainly a first world problem but I am sick of receiving crappy gifts!

Had a little bday party for 2 year old DS and SIL always gives the most thoughtless gifts (almost passive aggressive). This year she gave a jumper (summer here) for an 8 year old, with a promotional slogan on it (must have got it from a trip she did 2 years ago).
And I’m annoyed! Why is she giving DS things that I would have to store for 6 years.

Another example, first Xmas with DS (he was 6 weeks) she gave him a school hat.
I just can’t figure it out. Does she not care? I would be so embarrassed to be giving such thoughtless gifts.
We have been giving age appropriate gifts to her DC who are all grown up and I feel like now she just can’t be assed putting in any effort into our family.
I would like to emphasise that I do not want any gifts and would rather she didn’t give us anything at all (have raised this on a number of occasions but she pretends not to hear DH or me).

Gem2018london Mon 20-Nov-17 02:15:01

This is such a tricky one! It does sound almost passive aggressive. However, you would still come across worse as mentioning anything. If it’s such an issue, before birthdays and Christmas, you could ask your child to ask them for what they would like. Or you drop subtle hints? Otherwise, it just sounds like you’re going to have to let this one go, perhaps store them away and then charity shop them after it’s been a while. At least they won’t be a complete waste smile Sorry to hear about the passive aggressiveness though, it’s not easy to tollerate and I can imagine this isn’t an iscolated incident!

rainbowduck Mon 20-Nov-17 03:19:21

I hate it too, but for different reasons. It was recently my birthday and even though I always request no presents, the girls had a secret whip round. Super kind... except all the presents were junk. I smiled, took them, posed for social media photos and a fortnight later deposited everything at the charity shop.

I wish people would just stop, gift giving got out of hand. Consumerism is rife and the world is being killed by acts of kindness. Plus, I really don't want a house full of tat.

But I am always happy to receive a bottle of wine 🍷----

MagicFajita Mon 20-Nov-17 03:26:03

Agree with Rainbow. I say no to gifts because I'd rather people don't waste their money on an item I won't use. A card is lovely and enough.

SquirrelTail Mon 20-Nov-17 03:38:36

You could try putting in a specific request like say you could do with a jumper for an (x) year old? If this fails charity shop drop-off is needed. Some people never donate anything and hoard it all in their loft forever or until they move house at some point. Don't feel like you have to do this with inappropriate gifts, if you don't want all that sitting in your house just give it away.

GoEasyPudding Mon 20-Nov-17 07:30:56

These gifts are so terrible I would have to say something.
"Hey SIL, I think you made a mistake, the jumper is for an 8 year old. Do you have the receipt?, No? OK, well lets say no gifts from now on as I really can't keep a jumper for 6 years!"

Why keep quiet? You'll be getting the same rubbish every year.
I think these are very, very rude things to give to you. You must speak up.

Nocabbageinmyeye Mon 20-Nov-17 07:41:35

Well normally I am in the nod and smile camp, there is not much you can do BUT I would call your SIL out on it, a school hat? A jumper for an 8 year old? Your SIL is an out and our bitch and she needs telling.

"We may need to either agree to no more gifts or vouchers, I gave decent gifts to yours for years, normally I think nod, smile, charity shop but your hat and jumper are actually very insulting, I am not a fool, not is my son, do not treat us like one"

Queue shock and offense

"you are also not a fool so stop acting like one"

She is a bitch and is banking on you not saying anything but you should do it not before your son is old enough to realise

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