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To send this text to DH?

(17 Posts)
upupset Mon 20-Nov-17 01:51:16

I can’t sleep cause my head is a mess! I’ve been own all weekend with no one to talk to. I wanted to spend time with you today. I’ve looked forward all week and you haven’t even touched me or spoke with me. So I’m miserable in work and miserable at home too. I haven’t stopped crying all weekend I just feel that no one would even be arsed if I wasn’t here. Yes I’ve been moody but you’re supposed to support me, not just ask if I’m ok as you’re walking back up the stairs. I’ve even been trying to just touch you tonight so I don’t feel like I’m going crazy but you have pulled away from me. That’s why I’m downstairs crying, I feel like you don’t even care anymore. I feel like shit all the time and no one gives a crap. I don’t even know why I’m texting this to you, you’re probably fast asleep, not a care in the world. Anyway just thought I’d let you know how I feel because I haven’t got the balls to tell you face to face and I’ll just end up crying like a knob anyway and you will miss the point.

strawberryclouds Mon 20-Nov-17 01:56:10

Oh dear, I’m sorry you’ve had a rubbish weekend OP! It sounds like he is just oblivious to how you feel and occupied with something else, maybe work? The text will help, he needs to know how you feel. Good luck.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes Mon 20-Nov-17 02:23:09

No, I wouldn't send it. You've had a shit weekend, but it's not the way for grown adults to communicate.

No idea what the rest of the story is, but I can't imagine sending that text will help. Write it down instead. Decide tomorrow how to talk with your DH.

mumisnotmyname Mon 20-Nov-17 02:29:17

It sounds like you have had a rubbish weekend. I wouldn't send the text though as I am not sure it will get anything positive back. I would try and talk to face to face when you are really clear what you want to be different. Or if that isn't possible take some of the emotion out of the text and talk about what you would like to be different about your relationship and what that would look like. Good luck.

TheDowagerCuntess Mon 20-Nov-17 02:38:51

No, don't send it. He's not going to respond well to a text like that, and it's only going to make you more upset.

This is going to sound terrible, but if I received a text like that from DH ... well, it would make me think badly of him. Sorry, but I'm being honest.

You need to find a way to talk to him.

MirriVan Mon 20-Nov-17 03:09:05

Sorry you're feeling so rubbish, but that text comes across as a bit emotionally manipulative and immature to me. I really wouldn't send it.
I doubt it would get the response you want.
Try to get some sleep and make a plan to talk to someone about your worries tomorrow - if your DH isn't too good at listening right nnow, do you have anyone else? Even a helpline might be good if there's no one you feel you can talk to in real life.

missevelina Mon 20-Nov-17 03:37:47

Don't send the text, talk to him.

You sound very lonely, it would probably be a good idea to address these feelings now before they get out of hand.

SuperBeagle Mon 20-Nov-17 03:41:28

I would not be happy to be on the receiving end of that text, and I don't think you're going to get the response you desire if you send it.

SquirrelTail Mon 20-Nov-17 03:42:37

If you want to send it, send it. If you don't want to send it, don't send it.

My advice is to state why you are upset, what he can do about it and so on. If he doesn't want to touch you he shouldn't have to, you can't try to guilt-trip him for not wanting physical contact, imagine if it was a man doing that to a woman. Just carry on as you are, I'm sure he does love you or he wouldn't be with you, times get tough and sometimes we just have to ride the wave.

upupset Mon 20-Nov-17 06:59:03

Thanks everyone I didn’t send it. I wasn’t trying to force him to have physical contact by the way, he’s normally very tactile, cuddles/ kisses etc just not been this weekend and already knows that I’ve been feeling very lonely so probably everything has been amplified. He’s in work for 6 days now finishing late in the night so I won’t get a chance to see him until next weekend, at least not enough for a proper talk. I wasn’t trying to be manipulating that’s just how I was feeling at the time, typed through crying so probably did sound over dramatic. Thank you for your replies.

user1471517900 Mon 20-Nov-17 07:02:30

When he asked if you were ok, what did you say to him?

allthegoodusernameshavegone Mon 20-Nov-17 07:34:08

I think sending him a text is a good idea, people have used the written word to communicate for centuries, it’s a good way for you to express exactly how you feel and let him digest it. Just don’t do it in haste and check over what you’ve written. He may be thinking you’re needing some space. Communicate the best way for you, it’s so important.

TheNaze73 Mon 20-Nov-17 07:56:14

That text was far too long, so well done on not sending it. Talking has to be the way forward.

Good luck flowers

whiskyowl Mon 20-Nov-17 08:06:08

I don't understand your situation. Why are you on your own all weekend if you are married? Has your DH left?

HeddaGarbled Mon 20-Nov-17 08:09:20

If he's normally cuddly and tactile but not this weekend, there's probably a reason for that. That might be something between you (e.g. he's annoyed with you for some reason), or it might be something that's just about him (e.g. stressed over work). Any ideas?

PricillaQueenOfTheDesert Mon 20-Nov-17 08:34:34

Sorry op but that sounds pathetic and childish, you did ask if you should send it and I’m sorry if I’m a bit brutal but WTF? have you tried talking face to face? I do presume you are both adults, that text sounds like the sort of drama I’d expect from a 15year old girl.

upupset Mon 20-Nov-17 17:57:13

Yes just the way I was feeling at the time I do suffer with anxiety and low mood so I don’t think straight when I’m feeling like that.

DH works 6 days a week and is normally gone by the time I get home so we usually spend Saturday and Sunday together. This week he’s been off with me and went fishing Sunday and then round to a friends house while I just sat in. We hadn’t made plans but usually cook a nice meal and watch a movie if we don’t plan anything. He knew I was feeling low as we had talked about it and he offered to take an extra day a week off which I disagreed with because we need the money atm.

I guess we have a lot going on, individually and as a couple and it’s kinda hard to see the wood for the trees sometimes. I know we’re strong together and he loves me, it’s just my own issues I have to deal with.

Thank you to everyone who replied

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