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Dad in tears about Christmas

(374 Posts)
SingleKrisKringle Sun 19-Nov-17 23:39:00

My dad has been so upset tonight about Christmas and he's not a man who cries!

Basically he dotes on my nephew/his gs but my sister has announced that she would like all family gifts delivered prior to Christmas Eve as all presents are to be from Father Christmas/Santa not getting into that debate

I can't get too worked up about it. She wants him to believe, says we can say relatives told Santa to buy the presents they bought and still hand over a little gift from us, she thinks this will stop people going overboard and I think that will most definitely be a result as most people want to 'see their face' when they open gifts.

However I also totally understand my dads side too. He's concerned my nephew (3) will wonder why his family aren't buying for him and will see other people exchange gifts. I guess this year it won't be a problem but if she wants to keep doing it this way in future I can see that maybe becoming an issue. Also gratitude I suppose, if he thinks someone else is giving the gifts he won't be thanking anyone. Again, probably not so much an issue this year.

So... AIBU to be on the fence? My head is telling me keep quiet it's her decision, I don't want things to be strained for Christmas. I love my sister dearly but she can be ver stubborn. On the other hand my dad being so sad did break my heart a little bit.

Any suggestions for compromise or reasons one way is better than the other will maybe help me get the splinters out....

Gillian1980 Sun 19-Nov-17 23:43:14

I think your sister needs to realise that she can’t dictate how other people give gifts.

She can give her gifts as she pleases - from Father Christmas or her etc. But she IBU telling others what to do.

Cottonwoolbawl Sun 19-Nov-17 23:44:43

That's really strange. Santa gifts are the big ones then little ones from family

AtrociousCircumstance Sun 19-Nov-17 23:46:00

Your sister is being a controlling fuckwit.

What is wrong with people.

AcrossthePond55 Sun 19-Nov-17 23:46:26

IMO, she can ask for this, but it's up to the individual giver whether or not they want to comply. Personally, I wouldn't.

What do you think will happen if your dad says "No, I want little Johnny to know that he got a present from Granddad. If you are worried about him getting too much, I will only get him one gift. But I will give it to him in person".

PS. I think it's just a cheap shit way for your sister to not have to spend much money on her own child's Santa presents.

RefuseTheLies Sun 19-Nov-17 23:46:54

Your sister can't dictate the conditions or circumstances under which people choose to give gifts. Demanding that presents are handed over to her in advance is pretty ridiculous really. My extended family just said Santa left a few extra presents for me and my brother at their house. No big deal.

Temporary2002 Sun 19-Nov-17 23:47:09

I see a problem with saying all the stuff came from Santa. Kids who are lucky to get one gift from Santa, wondering why your nephew got mountains.
Your sister is out of line telling people the gift they buy cannot be from them. Personally I would not comply. She can like it...Or lump it!

TyneTeas Sun 19-Nov-17 23:47:29

That's really strange. Santa gifts are the big ones then little ones from family

Other way around with us. Santa brings the stocking, everyone else gets credit and thanks for their own gifts

Labradoodliedoodoo Sun 19-Nov-17 23:47:45

Long term it’s a crap idea. How will the DCs appreciate the thought people put into buying gifts for them. Who will they thank?

cheesydoesit Sun 19-Nov-17 23:47:59

It sounds ridiculous and is the kind of attitude that would make me not want to bother giving any gift at all. Obviously your poor nephew would be the one to suffer though.

overnightangel Sun 19-Nov-17 23:48:12

So your Dad buys something for your sister’s child, and she says “I’m saying it’s from someone else, and you can’t see him get it”
What a shit way to treat a generous family member.
Sorry, your sister is a twat

BzyB Sun 19-Nov-17 23:48:21

Are the parents unable to fund it alone maybe?

Butterymuffin Sun 19-Nov-17 23:48:54

What AcrossthePond said.

Sprinklestar Sun 19-Nov-17 23:49:07

How odd! I’ve never understood ‘sending gifts to Santa’. It makes no logical sense given he’s meant to have loads of elves working hard all year round making gifts... Stockings are filled by Santa, who delivers presents on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day is for exchanging gifts with family and friends and saying thank you, your parents included!

Crispbutty Sun 19-Nov-17 23:50:17

When I was a kid I believed in santa but he was just a delivery man. All my presents had tags on from relatives so I knew they had got them for me, but santa spent all December zooming around collecting gifts to wrap and deliver.

rainbowduck Sun 19-Nov-17 23:50:23

Is your sister having financial difficulties?

ThePinkPanter Sun 19-Nov-17 23:50:54

What a chancer! I'd not bother buying him anything then if I'm honest.

Pinky14 Sun 19-Nov-17 23:51:36

Can’t you have a word with your sister. Just tell her you can’t not say anything as you’ve never seen your dad so upset. It really is sad, the best bit about Christmas is the kids. For your dad not to see his gs open his gift is just taking away all the joy for everyone else. Your sister is being unreasonable I think you need to have a word.

rainbowduck Sun 19-Nov-17 23:51:59

I had to stop asking my MIL to stop writing 'from Santa' on all of her gifts to our kids before it opened a can of worms as to why Santa didn't leave gifts at the other grandparents house.

People get some bizarre ideas!

HeidioftheAlps Sun 19-Nov-17 23:52:52

I think it's just a cheap shit way for your sister to not have to spend much money on her own child's Santa presents
Yep. Cheeky fuckery

scottishdiem Sun 19-Nov-17 23:53:12

You are being remarkably U to not take your dads side.

Your sister is being an arse to dictate present giving.

CotswoldStrife Sun 19-Nov-17 23:54:19

Your sister is being unreasonable IMO, but you don't have to hand the gifts over. I suspect she wouldn't take this well from what you've said, though. She's still unreasonable.

Lucked Sun 19-Nov-17 23:55:46

Perhaps you could canvas opinion of the wider family, others also make get not be happy and you could let your sister know it’s not happening.

Coconutsgreen Sun 19-Nov-17 23:57:31

Very mean of her IMO

Lucked Sun 19-Nov-17 23:58:23

Actually could you hint to your sister that the family thinks she using them to subsidise her gifts.

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