I was definitely on tiger mother side. High expectations, few excuses (but acknowledgement of reasons), active support and plenty of enrichment activities. Support for school rather than battling about every perceived or actual teacher error. Clear boundaries. Known sanctions. Rewards aplenty. Firm belief in capability of children to succeed.
Agree. Although I never really fussed about reading books at school except to say they weren’t doing reading scheme as they were well past that level and were more motivated by ‘proper’ books. Their reading practice was done at home almost entirely. I would moan about same swimming certificate though.
I think I was considered tiger ish as I set expectations on grades and achievements, expected commitment to extracurricular activities and was clear I didn’t “ Just want them to be happy”. Of course, I wanted them to be happy but I knew that this tended to come from stability, achievement and self discipline.
Well neither of those examples are being pushy - just questioning why something is being done/not done.
To answer the question in your title. My parents are/were pushy. It became U at the point where their need to have me behave/achieve the way they thought I ought to became more about them than what I wanted to do/what I was capable of/the sort of person I was.
Being pushy, I think, is when you take only your kids views in to account. By this I mean you do not appreciate the breadth and depth of the tasks a teacher had to cover and the number of kids they have to teach!
Sometimes your kids does have to sit next to the noisy/disruptive kids it does not always have to be my children. So please stop asking for your son or daughter to be moved as, because I don't complain as much as you, they end up next to my kids.
All my kids are doing well academically and I have never bothered with asking for books to be changed, or asking for them to be read to or heard read etc . I read to my kids and they read to me. I don't hassle the teachers un necessarily so if I do need to speak to them it has real significance.
U is when you upset your child or annoy people or set up unhappy relationships & feelings just b/c your kids don't share your killer motivation.
"Bea" is a parent always chivvying her kids to try harder at sportX (DD also does). DD does a great comedy routine imitating what Bea is like in how she talks to her kids about the sport, & cheers form sidelines, etc. I get along quite well with Bea who probably knows about DD taking the mick, too & doesn't mind. It's possible to be very pushy but not annoying.
A pushy parent is one that unreasonably forces children into doing things that they don't need to do. E.g. It is not pushy to insist that you children do their homework but it is pushy to force your children to go to extra tutoring to get ahead (as opposed to keep up) when they hate it. It's not pushy to force your child to practice the instrument that they have asked to learn. It is pushy to force your child to learn an instrument when they have explicitly told you that they don't want to.