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AIBU?

Am I a Cheeky Fucker?

68 replies

CredulousThickos · 19/11/2017 12:58

So, I’ve already spunked my Fun Money budget for this month, which is fine. We took the kids out for a nice dinner last week and had a takeaway the week before, and I’ve had a few bottles of wine in the last month, plus bought paint which I’ve put in that budget as it was me who wanted to decorate, DH would have waited.

The kids asked the other day if we could have takeaway this weekend and we said no as there’s no point having a budget if we don’t stick to it.

So yesterday afternoon my sister called and said her date had cancelled so could she come over with kebabs and gin. DH was out working so I said of course that was fine, and she paid (she always does because she only ever comes over if she’s got no other options, she has a thriving Tinder and social life Grin so she knows she takes the piss a bit by using me as a fall back).

A great night was had. But DH is a bit pissy with me. Not horribly, but he says that in his mind if I’ve already rinsed the budget and we have to say no to the kids, I’m out of order for accepting a free ride from my sister.

Similar happened last month but it was going out for dinner for her birthday, I’d initially said no as again I’d already spent my budget and she said not to worry it was on her.

DH says I’m having my cake and eating it.

I’m a bit hungover so probably taking it too personally but is he right? Should I be declining invitations on principle?

OP posts:
DontDrinkDontSmoke · 19/11/2017 13:00

Is your husband always such hard work?

It’s your sister at a loose end. Your sister.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 19/11/2017 13:01

What?!! No, that sounds nuts. Your sister brought over a Kebab and you hung out?! Jesus. He's the cheeky fucker for pulling you up on something like that. It's not you.

TotemIcePole · 19/11/2017 13:01

She should have bought the kids a takeaway and babychams so they felt they were having a good night in as well.

AlpacaLypse · 19/11/2017 13:01

I assume he's got the hump because he doesn't have a sister who sometimes treats him to a bit of a fun time.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 19/11/2017 13:01

Kids don't always have to have stuff 'cause they fancy it. I'm sure they've had a good month.

pigeondujour · 19/11/2017 13:02

What's the alternative - you say no, sorry, you have to either bring cheap non-fun food or spend the evening on your own?

raisinsarenottheonlyfruit · 19/11/2017 13:02

Your husband is being a controlling arse.

You've agreed a money budget, not a having fun budget, right?

He seems to be confused about this.

He also seems to be confused about you being an adult who can make her own decisions about when and on what terms she wants to see her sister.

PinkHeart5914 · 19/11/2017 13:03

I think it’s a bit wrong to allow her to pay for you all the time, I get she offers but I still think it’s taking the piss a bit tbh.

If you choose to spend all your money for the month then you just accept you can’t go out for people’s birthday dinners, have gin & take away etc You can’t have it both ways, spend all of your money and then let others pay for you

pigeondujour · 19/11/2017 13:03

Also, he's got an extra cheek if you've used your money to buy paint that's for both of you, even if he would have waited (presuming you'd have needed it eventually anyway).

MsGameandWatching · 19/11/2017 13:03

He sounds jealous and childish. You know like when you were younger and your sibling got a treat when you weren't around and you'd feel livid and hard done to even though you hadn't been there?

DamnShesaSexyChick · 19/11/2017 13:04

I thought you were an alcoholic?

MyBrilliantDisguise · 19/11/2017 13:04

He's a bit of a Dementor, isn't he?

DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 19/11/2017 13:05

It’s your sister. Of course you shouldn’t have to say no to hanging out together.

I don’t see what it’s got to do with him.

Butterymuffin · 19/11/2017 13:05

I wonder if in the circumstances he would turn down free drinks and food from one of his mates, because it's the principle of the thing?

MistyMinge · 19/11/2017 13:05

Sounds like your husband is probably pissed off that you had your sister over and had a few drinks, and is using the 'having your cake and eating it' thing as a reason to have a go at you.

If she offered then I don't think you've been a cheeky Fucker. Presumably you've paid for takeaways, coffees out etc that your sister has been involved in in the past.

YANBU, he's being awkward.

WorraLiberty · 19/11/2017 13:06

Your DH is BU

Confused about the budget though, is it just yours and he has a separate one, or is it for both of you?

I don't think you're being a cheeky fucker, as long as you treat your sister as much as she treats you (or nearly as much).

NeverTwerkNaked · 19/11/2017 13:06

Is there a big disparity between you and your sister financially?
When my sister is hard up I have never minded paying so we can still do something together (she’s sahm and I work). I enjoy her company! I don’t think of her as a CF as
She has given me lots of support at other times in our life.

Your DH sounds like hard work

CredulousThickos · 19/11/2017 13:07

I think he is a bit jealous tbh. Justifiably though. He’s been either working or helping me shift furniture and paint all weekend so I think he’s just having a slightly childish pop.

He is a very very good man, and not controlling or petty generally so I’m putting this down to crabbiness. I’ve made him a fry up and sent him to his new music room to chill out 😂

OP posts:
ProjectGainsborough · 19/11/2017 13:07

Really don’t get this. You have spent no money. The point of the budget is not to suck all the fun out of life, but to save, surely. You have saved, but he is bitter because you had fun while doing so Confused

Tell him to bugger off, in short!

CredulousThickos · 19/11/2017 13:10

It’s all give and take with me and Dsis generally. Swings and roundabouts.

The fun budget is for everyone really, but mainly me as everyone else’s stuff is covered elsewhere. It’s mostly spent on treat food and drink as that’s my hobby Grin, DH’s hobbies are music and martial arts so don’t really cost much.

OP posts:
diddl · 19/11/2017 13:10

So, it cost you nothing, it cost your husband nothing?

So no "fun budgets" were harmed??

CryptFascist · 19/11/2017 13:12

I don’t get this at all. DFs parents take him out for meals, mine always treat me to coffees etc. It wouldn’t occur to either of us to begrudge the other. How petty of your DH, I hope the fry up helps his mood!

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donquixotedelamancha · 19/11/2017 13:14

"So, I’ve already spunked my Fun Money" Ewwww.

WorraLiberty · 19/11/2017 13:14

It's an odd way for him to react to you being bought a free kebab.

Is there a backstory here?

bastardkitty · 19/11/2017 13:15

So once the 'fun budget' is spent, no more fun must be had until the fun budget is replenished? What an idiot.

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