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Dad taking dd to ladies toilet

(551 Posts)
AdaHopper Sat 18-Nov-17 21:05:55

MN - help dh and I with a disagreement please.

When dd(4) needs the loo in a public place, he takes her to the ladies' loos. I told him that women don't like that and he should take her to the men's loo. Aibu or is he?

Moanyoldcow Sat 18-Nov-17 21:19:27

I always say the same on these posts and accept that my view is not the norm, but I don't care at all what sex/gender people I share toilets with so long as there are cubicles.

I'd have no issue with a dad and daughter in the ladies toilets.

Gileswithachainsaw Sat 18-Nov-17 21:21:44

Well then they aren't ladies toilets if being used by men taking their dds.

Stop frequenting dodgy places
Know your toilets
Cover eyes if necessary hmm
But a coffee and use costa or something

Dp has taken young Dds onto the mens no problem.

ItsAHardKn0ckLife1 Sat 18-Nov-17 21:21:50

I posted a thread not too long ago re a man changing his grandsons nappy in the ladies. There were changing facilities available in the men’s, they just chose to use the ladies instead. I questioned him and got shouted down. I was told in no uncertain terms on MN that I was totally unreasonable.

IMO men should not be in the ladies. At all.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 Sat 18-Nov-17 21:22:43


I remember that thread

It got quite....heated

Toffeelatteplease Sat 18-Nov-17 21:23:06

Mumsnet has some really weird opinions on stuff like this. Men arent safe so you can't have a man in the woman's toilet so let's send the DD4 into the male toilet where all the unsafe people with penises are.hmm

Your DH is quite normal. FWIW I would consider either way round fine.

PurpleCrowbar Sat 18-Nov-17 21:23:09

I really don't think there's going to be much on show from men using the urinals, tbh. They aren't all waving massive hosepipes about ostentatiously, just penis out of trousers to pee, backs to room, nothing to see here.

Of course it should be fine to take a 4yo girl in to use a cubicle. Really not helpful to characterise men's toilets as some appalling no go area. They might be a bit smelly I suppose.

Spam88 Sat 18-Nov-17 21:23:26

I’ve seen men doing this, doesn’t bother me at all, I can understand then not wanting to take their daughters in the men’s where there’s people using the urinal.

RunningOutOfCharge Sat 18-Nov-17 21:23:48

are people suggesting able bodied people use the disabled toilets here?

Toffeelatteplease Sat 18-Nov-17 21:24:39

It's only using the disabled when you're not disabled that's wrong imo

FlashTheSloth Sat 18-Nov-17 21:25:28

HIBU. I've never ever seen a man in a ladies toilet and it's not appropriate for them to be in there. They take their DDs in their toilets until they are old enough to go alone (or use the disabled). You don't see women taking boys into the mens because that's their correct toilet.

SkintAsASkintThing Sat 18-Nov-17 21:25:53

Wouldn't bother me.......there isn't anything to see in ladies loos.

And women have been diving into mens loos on nights out etc, don't get why it's seen as an issue on MN. hmm

ItsAHardKn0ckLife1 Sat 18-Nov-17 21:25:57

Yes Rufus, I was told I was raising my DS to be a rapist hmm confused

🤷🏻‍♀️ cannot understand some people’s logic!

rcit Sat 18-Nov-17 21:26:22

I can understand why a man would not want his 4yo to sit on a bog in the men's. Men use them for shitting and generally men's toilets are stinking and foul. That said, a grown man has no business in the ladies - very bad behaviour. TBH in his position I'd take a potty for the 4yo

BelafonteRavenclaw Sat 18-Nov-17 21:26:49

Men go to the men’s. Women go to the women’s. Thems the rules.

ScipioAfricanus Sat 18-Nov-17 21:28:13

I was taken to the men’s toilets when I was too little to go on my own by my dad and it hasn’t scarred me for life. The ladies toilet is for women and I’d be unimpressed to see a man in it.

TuftedLadyGrotto Sat 18-Nov-17 21:29:05

I saw a man do this recently and I didn't like it. Not only that, but his daughter had cubicle door open (fine) and generally he went for a wee standing up with door still open.

Dh has always taken dd to the gents.

HotelEuphoria Sat 18-Nov-17 21:30:25

Not this one again, isn't this the third such toilet thread in three days?

TuftedLadyGrotto Sat 18-Nov-17 21:30:26

Men use them for shitting

Pretty sure women do too.

Notsooriginalwerther Sat 18-Nov-17 21:30:36

RunningOutOfCharge I think it’s in regards to open urinals and maybe that men’s toilets are sometimes a bit grubbier than women’s? not in all cases though as most toilets have regular cleaners etc. But I agree that either use the disabled/baby change units or ladies. IMO I would rather my dp took my dd into the ladies toilet with separate cubicles than into the men’s loos.

Ellapaella Sat 18-Nov-17 21:31:49

I wouldn’t care if a man came in to the ladies with his daughter. We have single cubicles and it’s not like you can see anyone on the toilet, unlike the men’s where the little girl will see men using the urinals.

NeedsAsockamnesty Sat 18-Nov-17 21:32:45

what will a 4 year old 'see' in the mens toilet that has you all recoiling in horror?

Well today the cleaner in my local gents loos found a junkie jacking up in the morning and a couple fucking in the afternoon.

The same stuff doesn’t tend to happen in the ladies due to more frequent use

ScipioAfricanus Sat 18-Nov-17 21:32:49

Well I think the little girls will just have to cope with the toilets potentially being a bit dirtier. As regards urinals I think unless the dads take their daughters to the toilet in slow motion they will be fine.

MissDuke Sat 18-Nov-17 21:33:39

My dh would never do this and I have not once saw any man do it. I personally think it is bizarre that he thinks he has any right to enter womens toilets. My dh would go into baby changing if it has a loo or go to a toilet that has just one cubicle rather than a row of urinals, like in a cafe or whatever.

I realise that lots of readers will think I am crazy, but it is just my opinion!

C0untDucku1a Sat 18-Nov-17 21:35:14

The ‘recoiling in horror’ for me would be the Smell. Mens toilets are beyond disgusting.

TuftedLadyGrotto Sat 18-Nov-17 21:37:14

I once discovered a poo on the floor in a cubicle of the ladies toilet at work. I was a teacher. Not just men that have grim toilet habits.

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