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Umm, what a dick move?

(314 Posts)
user1497545304 Sat 18-Nov-17 19:31:36

This is probably the definition of a first world problem but...

SIL and I got pregnant around the same time, and she's just had her baby girl. I'm due in a couple of weeks.
Before I even found out I was having a girl, I had my heart set on the name Elle - I even posted a thread about this! Me and SIL are close and she knew very, very well about this.

After much deliberation, I helped SIL decide on the name Mia for her baby.

Went to visit her and new baby in hospital this morning, where she announced that her baby looked like such an ELLA that she just had to screw Mia and go with that. I didn't say anything but I wanted to throttle her

Umm, wtf? SIL knew very well that we were going with Elle, and now we can't! Elle and Ella are just TOO similar, let's face it.

I am extremely pissed and also upset! I trusted SIL like a best friend. She's always been very aware of people's feelings.

Just rang up my mum, and was told I was being 'bratty' and 'overreacting'.

I would never dream of doing what SIL did, though!


Amanduh Sat 18-Nov-17 19:32:48


MaggieMeldrum Sat 18-Nov-17 19:33:21

You don’t own a name

DryHeave Sat 18-Nov-17 19:34:11

Call her Elle anyway?

Ribrabrob Sat 18-Nov-17 19:34:11

Um... was your brother not involved in the decision too? hmm

ScipioAfricanus Sat 18-Nov-17 19:34:33

YANBU to be annoyed. And not bratty to complain to your mum (mums are the people we should be able to complain to about things we can’t whinge about to anyone else, in my opinion). But this is why you cannot let anyone know your preferred name before birth! At least then you’d know it wasn’t deliberate. I’m sure you’ll find a better name in time.

Chrys2017 Sat 18-Nov-17 19:34:48

I don't see why you can't still name your child Elle. How often are you actually going to see your SIL and her child?

Seniorcitizen1 Sat 18-Nov-17 19:34:52

Agree with your mum - no-one owns a name

AyeAyeFishyPie Sat 18-Nov-17 19:35:19

Oh fuck that for a laugh - I'd be pissed off too. YANBU

Ttbb Sat 18-Nov-17 19:35:29

Just call yours Elle anyway just to mess with your SIL.

Namechangetempissue Sat 18-Nov-17 19:35:31

Just call her Elle!

deckoff Sat 18-Nov-17 19:35:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Veterinari Sat 18-Nov-17 19:36:01

Why is it your SIL’s fault and not her DH’s also?

Justbookedasummmerholiday Sat 18-Nov-17 19:36:05

Stick to Elle. Honestly, they really are different names - and now you know not to trust sil in future.

goodbeans Sat 18-Nov-17 19:36:16

YANBU to be seriously annoyed. But I would name my DD Elle regardless.

Longdistance Sat 18-Nov-17 19:36:42


Yes, op doesn’t own the name, but yes a dick move from her.

In future don’t share names. I remember telling people the names I liked, and they would say negative things about each name 🙄 thus was me 🖕🏼 In my head, ha!

StickThatInYourPipe Sat 18-Nov-17 19:37:02

This is why you don’t tell people (especially pregnant people) what you want to name your children.

Emma from friends anyone?

Lindy2 Sat 18-Nov-17 19:37:35

I'd be annoyed too. Go with your choice of Elle though. The 2 names, although very similar, are different. Stick with what you wanted. They are cousins not sisters.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 18-Nov-17 19:37:50

Yanbu, that's so annoying.

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck Sat 18-Nov-17 19:38:10

It does sound deliberate. You can still call her Elle. 😊

zippey Sat 18-Nov-17 19:38:18

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried Sat 18-Nov-17 19:38:18

Elle isn’t a nice name anyway. It sounds like ‘L’. It’s what Mick Carter off eastenders calls his wife. And Ella is very popular, your SIL will probably find there are 4 other ella’s In her daughters class and she will forever have her stuff labelled “Ella (initial of surname)”

Use this as your chance to choose a much nicer name.

FlouncyDoves Sat 18-Nov-17 19:38:49


RaininSummer Sat 18-Nov-17 19:39:19

Call her Elle anyway. I would be rather annoyed by that too but do remember that the decision was not just made by SIL

Marnie182 Sat 18-Nov-17 19:39:28


I would feel the same as you. I think I would still use the name you intended though, if it were me.

Shitty thing for your SIL to do. flowers

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