To be anxious about being a new mum?

[PalomaViolets]

I’m going to the doctors about this but just wanted to ask if anyone has been through this? This is also in MH but posted here for traffic (if that’s allowed?)

My baby is 11 weeks old and in the past week or so I’ve noticed I’m getting more and more anxious, particularly taking her out on my own. When I do take her out it’s only locally to the local supermarket for example but recently I forgot to bring my bank card and the next day forgot to lock the front door behind me. I get myself in such a tizz 😔. I’m not sure if it’s tiredness, baby brain or it is anxiety/PND? I worry that she might have a meltdown when we’re out (she never has), people might judge me etc.

It doesn’t help that I live in a small area and have a bright distinctive pram so people always want to comment. I’m quite shy and don’t really want to be approached by strangers. I don’t drive so have only taken her on the bus once - on the way there and back I had to field questions about her from an old lady.

So I don’t get out much because it’s all a bit much and I don’t have lots of friends. The friends I do have I’m keeping a distance from - I hardly ever text them back and I’ve even developed an anxiety about replying to them (?!)

I have a somewhat supportive partner/family - although my partner comes out with nonsensical statements such as his job is harder than being a Mum (he’s a plumber) when I tell him I’m tired but he’ll look after her every night so I can go and get some uninterrupted sleep (which he should do anyway as he’s a parent too) and my Mum is great practically but she’s emotionally unavailable.

My period returned this week and wondering if that has had an impact on how I’m feeling also. My daughter was 5lbs 1oz at birth and dropped weight as I was breastfeeding so the hospital started me on expressing and I’ve continued to do this since we got out of hospital. My milk supply has always been pretty good but this week due to my period (I think?) it really dropped. I used most of my freezer supply and this also made me anxious. Thankfully it’s now gone back up since my period stopped.

This would read like War & Peace if I listed all my anxieties but I’m a first time Mum so not sure if this is common? Pretty sure it isn’t. I think I just wanted to offload somewhere where people would understand?

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

I'd say all ftms are anxious. Your body and mind has gone through a huge change. Parenthood is the hardest job in the world, yet. Its the only job which doesn't provide training or an instruction manual.
Now whether you have PND. I wouldn't know. However one thing I do know. You're definitely doing the right thing speaking to your GP.
Congratulations, BTW

[upsiedayz]

I've never been an anxious person and was incredibly so after having my DS (a year ago). I remember going to a family event when he was 8 weeks old and ending up in tears, it was all too much for me. Hormones after birth are just horrendous and throw in all this new responsibility and lack of sleep and quite frankly it's a shock to the system. At 11 weeks in I'd say it's still early days so please take things at a pace that suits you. I stayed in bed watching boxsets for a good portion of my mat leave and found that eventually at around 5 months I wanted to start getting out more. Good on you for seeing your gp.

[userabcname]

Hi OP, not odd at all! I still get in a tizz with my 5 month old - forget crucial things (like wet wipes!!) and have a nightmare getting him in and out of his (unnecessarily complicated) car seat. I do think it's all part and parcel of the new mum experience but definitely worth having a chat with your gp. I try to go out once a day even if it's just to the corner shop for some milk - I find if I stay in then I actually feel worse! Also, if you are still pumping, that is a very tough thing to do for your body to do so I hope you are managing to eat and get as much rest as you can! I think it's quite normal for your supply to drop during your period - lots of skin to skin can help and eating oats is a natural way to boost supply.
Good luck with everything!